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The "beast" is pushing me.....

Old 11-21-2011, 10:34 AM
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The "beast" is pushing me.....

For whatever reason I'm thinking more about drinking today than I have in a while. I mean the, "OMG I can't drink anymore." It must have to do with the holidays. I've been at this since May with two bad days but gesh it still without warning starts knocking at the door, the knocking is getting louder.

My addict voice in my head is very loud too. I have to chalk it up to that and tell it to shut the h!ll up! But it's so loud. I have a great sober coach though, DH! I get with him and I usually can ignore it and carry on with the fun.

I'm at work so it's harder to divert my attention. I'm listening to music and socializing but as the day progresses it's getting worse - hence the post! It's less frequent but my gawd why is alcohol so blasted important!!!!


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Old 11-21-2011, 10:42 AM
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It's not important - and it is just your AV. I'm only at 19 days - I'd pay so much if I had months under my belt. Please don't drink. Please don't. This will pass....
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Old 11-21-2011, 10:56 AM
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At first, I planned to go mano a mano with my beast, I can beat you with a stare down, sucker. That got pretty exhausting very quickly. Then I found that there is much easier way to silence that beast without feeling pressured or panicky. Now I hear that voice without judgement, without looking at my past drinking behaviour or worrying about how I am going to deal with the evening without a drink. That voice can't make me do something this second that I don't choose to do, and when it tries to to that, I just laugh at how stupid and pitiful that voice has become. Fous-moi la paix et meur, cochon, va-t-en.

I don't drink, and I won't change my mind.
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Old 11-21-2011, 11:01 AM
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Yeah, he's just an annoyance. A trifling, really. No need to get angry or engage in debate. Just remind yourself of the reality of what drinking does to you, and how it inevitably fails to provide anything that really matters. Let the little tyrant cry himself to sleep.
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Old 11-21-2011, 11:08 AM
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I want to beat it senseless LOL
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Old 11-21-2011, 11:16 AM
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Originally Posted by 1undone View Post
For whatever reason I'm thinking more about drinking today than I have in a while. I mean the, "OMG I can't drink anymore."
Wrong. Your Beast, not you, is thinking about drinking.

Originally Posted by 1undone View Post
My addict voice in my head is very loud too. I have to chalk it up to that and tell it to shut the h!ll up!
Do not argue with or engage the Addictive Voice, that just gives IT an opportunity to wear you down. If you aren't going to drink again, what is there to debate? You have to learn to detach. Just tell yourself "IT, my Beast wants to drink, but I don't drink. Too bad for IT."
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Old 11-21-2011, 11:58 AM
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Good job on the 6 months + 1undone!

The beast's voice is so cunning even when you engage and want to beat it to submission it is playing us all like an instrument. Slowly wearing you down...

Lots of good advise above in not allowing yourself to engage in the first place. That is the secret to the voice that is trying it's hardest to work every angle of "but, why not, never ever again?"

You know that there is no going back to the old days of drinking. Even 1 drink will result in you hating yourself and the 6 months you have fought so hard for will be lost.

Live in the moment of your sobriety. Don't engage that voice when it starts up and save that wasteful energy for things that are true in your life.
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Old 11-21-2011, 12:47 PM
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I'm not an RRer - but I can identify with the concept of 'we are not our thoughts'...
we can think it...but we don't need to act on it

I'm glad you came here for support 1undone
How are you feeling now?

D
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