Day 3...Again but this time commited to Sobriety.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Miami, FL
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Day 3...Again but this time commited to Sobriety.
I just wanted to thank each and every one of you who have taken the time to read and reply to my posts. I have realized something in the last couple of days. And that is that when we are drinking , (even if we are not drinking at that particular moment) Our decsions are still impaired. Maybe this is silly to have just realized not after over 5 - 6 years of being an active almost daily drinker. But I guess I can call this my moment of clarity. I have been journaling a lot and I realize just how much AL affected my relationship with my daughter. How much I fought with her on mornings when I would wake up hungover and in withdrawal. I also beleive my feelings about AA may have come from a place where that someone who still thinks she can drink normally lives. I have decided to come on here but also to try again to use AA. Last night I had an episode in which I experienced what Is called a Dry Drunk. I started crying uncontrollable bc my daughter and her bf wanted to watch a movie by themselves. I felt rejected and angry because I felt like drinking and was using the activity as a distraction. But today I realize that I definately need to get myself a sponsor and a support system so I do not go back to drinking. It is so easy. just to get in my car and go buy the wine and again I will start the cycle. Except this time I REALLY don't want to. I am an emotional wreck. Crying for everything. Feelings things way to intensely. I have always been this way but even more so now that I do not have the wine as a buffer. I have been trying to eat healthier. Even though I find myself craving sweets a lot more. And also exercising. I went to see a Dr who prescribed me Naltrexone. I am taking it daily so in case I do decide to slip, there will be no point because I will not get the high. So yes, I am taking drastic measures because this has become a drastic situation. I will to be posting a LOT more now that I am commited to my sobriety. I hope to make many new friends on here and to become stronger than this thing which has been consuming me for so long it has made me forget who I am. 
Also, can anyone tell me how I can make an avatar (profile picture) I haven't been able to figure it out. Much Love and Light to all,
V.
Also, can anyone tell me how I can make an avatar (profile picture) I haven't been able to figure it out. Much Love and Light to all,V.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
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Good that you are seeking help.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...your-name.html
Originally Posted by violetflame 
Also, can anyone tell me how I can make an avatar (profile picture) I haven't been able to figure it out.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 7
We sound so much alike! I am on Day four, have a daughter, 5-7 yrs drinking, enlisted my dr. for help... it feels so much like I know exactly what you are going threw and that I am not alone. I also have hated many a mornings when I was short tempered and yelled at her, because of me.... and those mornings where i overslept but somehow it was her fault. ugh.
Stay strong, keep eating right and exercising. YOU can do it, WE can do it.... for the sake of our lives and our families.
Someone else on here told me to cry, scream, keep a journal, do whatever it takes to not take that drink.
Be strong, you are not alone.
:ghug3
Stay strong, keep eating right and exercising. YOU can do it, WE can do it.... for the sake of our lives and our families.
Someone else on here told me to cry, scream, keep a journal, do whatever it takes to not take that drink.
Be strong, you are not alone.
:ghug3
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 178
Hey Rottie,
Thanks so much. I don't really have a support system, so it is great that we can help eachother. I have 2 jobs and today I came home early after my 1st one b/c I was feeling nauseus and dizzy and so sleepy. I guess i am withdrawing cuz i feel like crap. I used to drink 3 to 4 glasses of wine everynight. I am trying not to let the guilt overwhelm me for the damage I may have done to my daughter. She has turned out pretty well considering. I just really want it to work this time. I have had to many failed attempts. What else are you doing ? I m coming on here alot, walking , journaling, but I feel like hypoglycemic and nauseus so am going to take it easy at least for the rest of the afternoon. If I feel better will go to a meeting as I cannot let myself fall into the drinking mindset again. How old is your daughter?
And yes Eddie. I really mean it. I know it won't be easy. But am done.
Thanks so much. I don't really have a support system, so it is great that we can help eachother. I have 2 jobs and today I came home early after my 1st one b/c I was feeling nauseus and dizzy and so sleepy. I guess i am withdrawing cuz i feel like crap. I used to drink 3 to 4 glasses of wine everynight. I am trying not to let the guilt overwhelm me for the damage I may have done to my daughter. She has turned out pretty well considering. I just really want it to work this time. I have had to many failed attempts. What else are you doing ? I m coming on here alot, walking , journaling, but I feel like hypoglycemic and nauseus so am going to take it easy at least for the rest of the afternoon. If I feel better will go to a meeting as I cannot let myself fall into the drinking mindset again. How old is your daughter?
And yes Eddie. I really mean it. I know it won't be easy. But am done.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 7
The only person on my support system (besides my GP) is my husband and he is still angry and hurt and he doesn't get it. I have not told any of my family or friends. My daughter is nine.
Dr. gave me some meds to help take the edge off at night. I have taken it but am trying not to rely on it. I have been cleaning a lot!! I also exercise. I like to swim, bike and run. I have always been fairly athletic just was usually hungover doing so. In the recent months I was up to two bottles of wine a night. And some nights I drank gin and lots of it. Those nights and days that were even worse than wine. I too am having trouble with guilt but trying really hard to be patient now and not let that be a reason to return to the bottle. I am like you... I am done. I was so tired and miserable... sobriety has got to be better. So far, it is.
I too come here a lot and I pretty much cried all day yesterday. I have never been to an AA meeting nor have I tried the journal. Keep me posted as to how they work for you. Stay strong, the nausea will pass. Wishing you success!!
Dr. gave me some meds to help take the edge off at night. I have taken it but am trying not to rely on it. I have been cleaning a lot!! I also exercise. I like to swim, bike and run. I have always been fairly athletic just was usually hungover doing so. In the recent months I was up to two bottles of wine a night. And some nights I drank gin and lots of it. Those nights and days that were even worse than wine. I too am having trouble with guilt but trying really hard to be patient now and not let that be a reason to return to the bottle. I am like you... I am done. I was so tired and miserable... sobriety has got to be better. So far, it is.
I too come here a lot and I pretty much cried all day yesterday. I have never been to an AA meeting nor have I tried the journal. Keep me posted as to how they work for you. Stay strong, the nausea will pass. Wishing you success!!
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 78
Violent flame,
I tried Naltrexone a couple of years ago, and it made me feel severely depressed. It probably affects everyone differently, but if you start feeling uncontrollably sad, it may have more to do with the Naltrexone than the alcohol withdrawals.
I tried Naltrexone a couple of years ago, and it made me feel severely depressed. It probably affects everyone differently, but if you start feeling uncontrollably sad, it may have more to do with the Naltrexone than the alcohol withdrawals.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 178
Dear Jester,
How much did you take? I think you may be right because other times I have stopped drinking I have not felt this bad. I have only taken 25mg per day but it is more like an insurance so I wouldn't drink the 1st few days. I am going to check out the side effects more in depth.
thanks
How much did you take? I think you may be right because other times I have stopped drinking I have not felt this bad. I have only taken 25mg per day but it is more like an insurance so I wouldn't drink the 1st few days. I am going to check out the side effects more in depth.
thanks
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 78
I honestly do not remember the amount of the dosage because it was a couple of years ago. But I do distinctly remember the depressing side effects. The depression was so bad that I stopped taking the pill after a very short time, and quickly returned to drinking. I understand that everyone suffers depression to a certain degree when they stop drinking. But the depression that I felt while taking Naltrexone was the most severe form of depression that I have ever experienced in my life.
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Violet,
It sounds like you're doing well getting through the withdrawls.
I do think balance is so important in recovery so it's good to hear that you're walking (I did a LOT of that), paying attention to your diet, taking it easy when you feel tired, trying to stay positive. And, I found journalling helped a lot too.
It sounds like you're doing well getting through the withdrawls.
I do think balance is so important in recovery so it's good to hear that you're walking (I did a LOT of that), paying attention to your diet, taking it easy when you feel tired, trying to stay positive. And, I found journalling helped a lot too.
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