help with bf
 

Good Evening everyone, i'm new here, my bf is an alcoholic, doesn't live with me at this time, he's been sober for 25 days now, he went to visit a friend and while there decided to go into treatment, i was worried sick, and like others i wonder how long it will last, and if i'm asking is it ever possible to be in a loving relationship if the person is getting the help because they want it, and if i supported him by going to meetings with him ? also is outpatient helpful..
thank you for taken the time to read this.

If you showed him support, that will majorly help his recovery and sobriety. When you have someone that supports what you're doing and they love you, it makes the recovery process a lot easier.

He's sober and recovering and doing something that will not only continue to improve his life and mood but it was also help those around him.

The only part I'm not understanding right now is why you're questioning the relationship when he's doing something that's for the better.

i love him i have no doubt about that, he is in another state but wants to come home, i have heard to much negative from his side and from friends, however i' love him enough to see if this can work, i want it but i do know it can't be done alone, so i was asking because you guys here know more then i..

We would need more info about his use and what's happened in your relationship to tell you more about we've experienced. No doubt the support and love I receive from my husband is great but we have a long history together, are married and have a child. I guess you' have to ask yourself where your relationship is going and figure out if you want to be with someone who will have struggles. We all have them but is this one you can accept and the type of life that will come with it?

Hi Lily

It is entirely possible to have a loving relationship with an alcoholic free of all the drama I've sure you've had in the past :)

I'm a firm believer in you get out of recovery what you put in, so it's up to your bf really - I think it's a great sign he's put himself into treatment, though.

Personally I don't think it's necessary for you to go to meetings with him, unless you yourself want to, & he'd be ok with that - you might want to check out AlAnon for yourself tho?

We also have a Family and Friends forum that you might like to look at as well :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ily-alcoholics

Welcome :)
D

hi, we haven't know each other very long, and i didn't even know he had a drinking problem, he said he like to have a couple of beers once in awhile, once in awhile to me is like every few months or on Thanksgiving or Christmas a drink, but his drinking consisted of the large cans and not just one any where from 2 to 6 every other night , it became to much i offered to go with him to get help, at the time he didn't want to..
now he has been sober for 25 days..
i know he will have struggles but alot of relationships do. i will willing enough to help him threw those times along with the support we can both get

I'd love to go with him, but if he rather go alone i'm ok with that 2... yes we have had some drama but not as bad as some i have read here, the lies is what bothered me more.. i want to do whats best for him, i mean he has to continue to want help but i'm also willing to give him the love i don't feel he has gotten in the past..
i just joined today and i have read so much and learned
thank you for your reply's i wish i would have found you a few months ago
God Bless you guys

Alcoholics hide their problems really well, and it's because of the shame and guilt drinking brings to the user / abuser. So if he lied to you about his drinking problem in the past, move forward and leave the past behind. He's sober now, he doesn't have a reason to lie to you anymore because he doesn't have the shame and guilt riding on his shoulders.

thank you, :)