A few tips / pointers
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
A few tips / pointers
While on my daily walk, I was thinking about SR and the posts that I read on a daily basis and I while I'm not huge on posting new threads with advice, I'll give it a shot.
I've been seeing a lot of the same type of general posts and I really wanted to point out a few things.
"I'm going to give up alcohol!"
When you say that you're giving up drinking, you're saying that alcohol has defeated you and that you're going to allow it to take control of your life. How? When you say "give up", you're admitting defeat to the very poison you're now trying to regain control over.. How can you give up and still maintain control without going back to drinking?
You're not giving up nothing! you're regaining control of your life. You've admitted that you have a problem and you're on a forum that's about alcohol recovery.. How is that giving up? How are you admitting defeat over the poison when you yourself have many tools at your disposal to take back your life and make YOU the number one priority?
Simple version: You're not giving up alcohol, you're either stopping or quitting.
"I'll miss the parties that I had fun at!"
The parties that you've went to and drinked at wouldn't of been fun without alcohol because you're outside you comfort zone and you wouldn't of done that in a sober situation. The body is a powerful tool and it tells us when we shouldn't do something or be somewhere. When we drink alcohol, we're bypassing this natural deterrent and forcing ourselves to be somewhere we shouldn't be.
When you are sober, you CAN and WILL have a good time at places where you WANT to be. When you're laughing and having fun while sober, it's natural and you'll feel a true sense of happiness.
When you drain yourself in alcohol and having a "good time", you're not being your natural self, you have inside you a poison that's controlling your moves and what you say... or slur.
If the party was fun while drinking, you wouldn't wake up with a severe headache, throwing up, nauseated, unable to move.....etc, etc.
"I'm taking a break from drinking"
When you tell everyone that you're just "taking a break" from drinking, you've already given up on yourself (see "I'm going to give up alcohol!") and there is no way that you'll ever, EVER feel good about yourself even if you have a short term sobriety. You'll always be moping and crying over the "loss" (giving up) of alcohol which will make you severely depressed and unable to think clearly.
Do yourself a favor: Hold your head up and start thinking positive! When all you do is think negative thoughts, you'll never recover.
"I have problems!"
When you drain out your problems with alcohol, these problems will still exist when you wake up. In fact, these problems will probably become worse and you'll start drinking more and more to drain out the problems till you're on the verge of death or in the hospital for a second chance at life.
We ALL have problems in our lives, no one lives a perfect life and that's just a fact of life. How you DEAL with the problems is a different story however. When you're sober, you deal with your problems head on and with a clear mind. When you have a clear mind, you'll make the decisions that you know are the right ones, even if you've been preventing it in your previous life with alcohol.
Decisions are tough to make but we all have to make them. Even if you let the problems sit and exist, you'll still have to deal with it at some point in your life.. Drinking does nothing but causes more problems.
Conclusion:
For your own health and well being, understand what you're saying and typing. Don't be hard on yourself for quitting alcohol, you're losing absolutely NOTHING - what you're doing when you quit alcohol is GAINING control of your life and your health.. Guess what that does? Makes you a better person and people around you will respect you a lot more.
Tip: If by any chance that you have people mocking you or putting you down over quitting alcohol - They're not true friends and you'll need to make the tough decision of knowing who your TRUE friends are. True friends support each other, not mock and discourage each other.
If it's someone in your family doing this to you, they're jealous that you could over come the alcohol and move on with your life while they're still chugging away and moping over their own issues.
Thank you for reading
-Gerbosko (33 days sober today)
I've been seeing a lot of the same type of general posts and I really wanted to point out a few things.
"I'm going to give up alcohol!"
When you say that you're giving up drinking, you're saying that alcohol has defeated you and that you're going to allow it to take control of your life. How? When you say "give up", you're admitting defeat to the very poison you're now trying to regain control over.. How can you give up and still maintain control without going back to drinking?
(give up in the face of defeat of lacking hope; admit defeat)
Simple version: You're not giving up alcohol, you're either stopping or quitting.
"I'll miss the parties that I had fun at!"
The parties that you've went to and drinked at wouldn't of been fun without alcohol because you're outside you comfort zone and you wouldn't of done that in a sober situation. The body is a powerful tool and it tells us when we shouldn't do something or be somewhere. When we drink alcohol, we're bypassing this natural deterrent and forcing ourselves to be somewhere we shouldn't be.
When you are sober, you CAN and WILL have a good time at places where you WANT to be. When you're laughing and having fun while sober, it's natural and you'll feel a true sense of happiness.
When you drain yourself in alcohol and having a "good time", you're not being your natural self, you have inside you a poison that's controlling your moves and what you say... or slur.
If the party was fun while drinking, you wouldn't wake up with a severe headache, throwing up, nauseated, unable to move.....etc, etc.
"I'm taking a break from drinking"
When you tell everyone that you're just "taking a break" from drinking, you've already given up on yourself (see "I'm going to give up alcohol!") and there is no way that you'll ever, EVER feel good about yourself even if you have a short term sobriety. You'll always be moping and crying over the "loss" (giving up) of alcohol which will make you severely depressed and unable to think clearly.
Do yourself a favor: Hold your head up and start thinking positive! When all you do is think negative thoughts, you'll never recover.
"I have problems!"
When you drain out your problems with alcohol, these problems will still exist when you wake up. In fact, these problems will probably become worse and you'll start drinking more and more to drain out the problems till you're on the verge of death or in the hospital for a second chance at life.
We ALL have problems in our lives, no one lives a perfect life and that's just a fact of life. How you DEAL with the problems is a different story however. When you're sober, you deal with your problems head on and with a clear mind. When you have a clear mind, you'll make the decisions that you know are the right ones, even if you've been preventing it in your previous life with alcohol.
Decisions are tough to make but we all have to make them. Even if you let the problems sit and exist, you'll still have to deal with it at some point in your life.. Drinking does nothing but causes more problems.
Conclusion:
For your own health and well being, understand what you're saying and typing. Don't be hard on yourself for quitting alcohol, you're losing absolutely NOTHING - what you're doing when you quit alcohol is GAINING control of your life and your health.. Guess what that does? Makes you a better person and people around you will respect you a lot more.
Tip: If by any chance that you have people mocking you or putting you down over quitting alcohol - They're not true friends and you'll need to make the tough decision of knowing who your TRUE friends are. True friends support each other, not mock and discourage each other.
If it's someone in your family doing this to you, they're jealous that you could over come the alcohol and move on with your life while they're still chugging away and moping over their own issues.
Thank you for reading
-Gerbosko (33 days sober today)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 429
Thanks, Gerbosko, for the excellent perspectives. It reminds me of positive affirmations. When you're trying to change something or make something happen in your life, you're supposed to frame it in a positive way instead of a negative way (for example, "I don't smoke" becomes "I'm a nonsmoker"). If you think negatively, you're always putting yourself into a hole before you even start because you believe you're denying yourself of something. If you think positively, you start out ahead of the game and it makes you want to continue gaining. Of course, the trick is that it's sometimes hard work to switch your thinking from negative to positive when we're dealing with the natural ups and downs of life that every single person experiences. In our way of thinking, it seems like we tend to go for instant gratification ("life sucks now, I'll drink now and deal with everything tomorrow"). If we truly want to quit drinking, we have to put in the work even if we can't see the gratification right away, and that means we have to retrain ourselves.
I've had a lifetime of negativity and it never worked out, so I'll give being positive a shot.
I've had a lifetime of negativity and it never worked out, so I'll give being positive a shot.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
the trick is that it's sometimes hard work to switch your thinking from negative to positive when we're dealing with the natural ups and downs of life that every single person experiences.
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