For the newcomers early in recovery
For the newcomers early in recovery
This was part of a PM I sent to a friend and he suggested I post it for the newcomers. I know it's hard at first, getting and staying sober, and lots of people fall by the wayside when the going gets tough. It takes a lot of effort and changes to live sober but it's so worth the effort.
So if you're feeling 'stuck' in early sobriety, don't give up!
I was one of the 'hopeless' ones. Kept relapsing, kept thinking I was doomed to drink myself to death. But when I finally started to feel secure in my sobriety it was a wonderful feeling - that freedom. So don't give up, don't give in - keep on truckin' and you'll 'get there'.
So if you're feeling 'stuck' in early sobriety, don't give up!
Funny thing, the other day I was frustrated, sad, mad, and tired all at once and had a brief urge to drink - well, not to drink but to 'be drunk', to get numb. Needless to say I didn't act on it and the urge was gone as soon as I recognized it.
We've had so many newcomers here lately, and so many struggling with getting thru the first month or so... I see myself in their stories of how hard it is to tolerate/learn to live with the anxiety of being sober when we aren't used to it. Letting ourselves feel feelings is rough too since most of us were trying to drown our feelings, make them go away...
And it takes at least a month or two, I think, to start feeling like it's going to be alright. So many fall again and again in early recovery cause we alkies are instant gratification freaks! I like to share my victories so the newbies know it can be done. We screwed ourselves for so long, so badly, yet want to feel wonderful again in a week or two... and are mad when we don't.
I like reading stories of people who got past that initial hurdle - the only way out is through.
We've had so many newcomers here lately, and so many struggling with getting thru the first month or so... I see myself in their stories of how hard it is to tolerate/learn to live with the anxiety of being sober when we aren't used to it. Letting ourselves feel feelings is rough too since most of us were trying to drown our feelings, make them go away...
And it takes at least a month or two, I think, to start feeling like it's going to be alright. So many fall again and again in early recovery cause we alkies are instant gratification freaks! I like to share my victories so the newbies know it can be done. We screwed ourselves for so long, so badly, yet want to feel wonderful again in a week or two... and are mad when we don't.
I like reading stories of people who got past that initial hurdle - the only way out is through.
I was one of the 'hopeless' ones. Kept relapsing, kept thinking I was doomed to drink myself to death. But when I finally started to feel secure in my sobriety it was a wonderful feeling - that freedom. So don't give up, don't give in - keep on truckin' and you'll 'get there'.
Oh, yes! After a week or two we want to feel wonderful. That was a relapse every single time! Feeling angry because I felt so physically bad and yet was trying so hard. Today is day 30 for me and I hope and pray that this is a new beginning for me.
I can't count how many times I tried to "quit" over 30 years of drinking. The longest I actually went was about 3 months. Usually it was a few days at the most. The final 10 years of my drinking career I just said "screw it", I'm gonna die a drunk, so might as well just get drunk every day. I finally forced myself to make a choice, either live sober or slowly keep killing myself with alcohol (and that's really what it was, slow suicide). That was nearly 2 1/2 years ago. I never want to go to back to that dark place ever again. Life is has so much to offer sober.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 79
Hey least , thank you for that message of encouragement . These feelings are pretty horrific at times but we must get through them without alcohol because getting drunk just adds more problems to our lives and we continue to stay stuck in that vicious circle .
Thanks least. This weekend was kind of bad; I kept thinking about alcohol, all weekend, and I'm just getting so frustrated with how OBSESSED I am with drinking, you know like why won't my mind just SHUT UP about it already so I can get on with my life? It's annoying, like my brain is trying SO HARD to sabotage me. How do I shut up that voice? I'm not listening but it won't go away!
How do I shut up that voice? I'm not listening but it won't go away!
I talked back to 'the voice'. I'd have a conversation in my head with the voice. "I know you're lying, now go away and don't bother me!!" I'd pull every bad memory of my drinking up for review and look seriously at the damage I did by drinking. I'd remind myself of my struggles in the past with giving in to the urge to drink and how bad it always made me feel.
I'd also distract myself when the voice would come calling: walk the dogs, clean the house, anything but drink! And with time, the voice got quieter and quieter until it was barely a whisper and easy to ignore.
I still hear it sometimes but am so secure and happy in sobriety that it's easy to dismiss it for the liar it is.
I wrote this a while back, it might be helpful here.
It was talking to myself about my alcoholic voice like this that really helped me to quit, and stay quit. I convinced myself that:
I don't have a drinking problem at all now because I just don't drink, and I think about it less and less. Nine weeks and counting.
It is no longer nine weeks, it is now 90 days. Good luck to you on your journey.
It was talking to myself about my alcoholic voice like this that really helped me to quit, and stay quit. I convinced myself that:
I don't have a drinking problem at all now because I just don't drink, and I think about it less and less. Nine weeks and counting.
It is no longer nine weeks, it is now 90 days. Good luck to you on your journey.
So true. Thanx for posting that reminder. The first week, month...is a battle against wills. It's easy to say it gets better and the freedom is worth the struggle but sometimes it is just oh so hard. I often get into my head and try to remember those feelings...drinking feelings, after drinking feelings and my thought process now. Such a refreshing change!
Chin up and keep swimming....Thanx Least.
Chin up and keep swimming....Thanx Least.
Great post least!
I also liked what you said about remembering all the bad thugs about drinking when the voice tries to get you to drink. I would add that I remembered in vivid detail every physical sensation of being sick on alcohol. I found that very helpful in early recovery!
I also liked what you said about remembering all the bad thugs about drinking when the voice tries to get you to drink. I would add that I remembered in vivid detail every physical sensation of being sick on alcohol. I found that very helpful in early recovery!
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Thank you Least. I remember in my early days, thinking maybe it'd never get better, but scared to drink again. It did get better gradually, no flash-bang moment... rather, gradual growth and recovery.
I remember when I first joined here (still had my own relapses to come) and your plight, which seemed rather desperate, I commend you on how far you have come since that time.
I remember when I first joined here (still had my own relapses to come) and your plight, which seemed rather desperate, I commend you on how far you have come since that time.
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