goldiilocks

I was on day 4 and then something bad happens in my day, its probably something "normal" for someone who doesnt have the problems I do, but for me its so unbearable I just cannot take it... I feel like a child, and as though the things that spark it up, are normal everyday activities that any normal person could deal with, but for me, it starts a long chain of days on end drinking. Something rubs my anxiety in the worst way, and I hit the bottle and here I am again, up early and continuing because I did so last night and it's like a never ending cycle. I like to be foggy because then I dont get anxious and actually have to deal with life. This saddens me.

I want to know how those of you have have months and years did it? How did you grab the strength? I look up to you guys.

At this point I'm like a person who sits there and says she wants to believe, but doesnt give herself and her life the chance to change in order for it to take place. I am trying, but I havent gotten past a couple of days. Which makes me feel like even more of a failure.

Anna

Yes, I was caught up in the endless cycle too.

The thing is there is no way around it, but to get through it. It's the getting through it, that gives you the strength. For me, 3 days was a trigger and it wasn't until I got through the 4th day that my burden was lighter. Each time you get through it, you get a bit stronger.

Hang in there!

least

It can be very hard at first, unlearning old habits and ways of coping with stress, but to be honest, the only way out is through! You have to keep yourself from giving in until the urge to drink is less strong. And that takes time.

When I was early in recovery and the urge to drink was strong, I'd distract myself with anything: walking the dogs, cleaning the house, visiting a friend - anything to keep from drinking.

At around two or three months sober I started practicing gratitude every day and it got to be a habit, a good habit, and it helped me to lose the desire to drink.

goldiilocks

Thanks, I am going to try this again, i just wonder if i should even give myself that chace because I've failed in the past and have continued to do so. I have to do something though, I cannot take my life the way it is anymore.

I too have dogs who I love like my family. Maybe getting out and running with them would help.

ARTEMIS

Goldi you are not a failure. You are a wonderful caring awesome person.
Read some of the forums. I have found them to be very helpful. HUG

coming_clean

accepting that I and life in general is everything but flawless helps me a lot.

SSIL75

I think recognizing it as a cycle is half the battle!

So you know you lack skills. The key for me was to develop the skills I needed. So next time I wanted to drink I made myself do something else that I had planned in a 'sane' moment.
"Next time my kids are flipping out and I feel like pouring a glass of wine.. I'm going to load us up in the car and go for icecream'.

And then DO IT. No matter how you feel at the time. If that voice in your head is screaming at you to 'drink.. you can try it the new way, next time' remember that's a normal way for an alcoholic to think and you're done with that now.

tanja

Goldi, just because you have tried before and not been successful does NOT mean you can't do it. You certainly are NOT a failure. It takes great strength and courage to post. I rhink what you tell yourself is very important. Believe you can and take it one day at a time. It might be helpful at this point to make a list of all of the negative consequences associated with drinking. Make another list of all of the benefits. Then make a decision about which is your best interest. Come up with a list of triggers and ways to deal with them. Make a list of positive affirmations - I am stronger than I realize, I am going to treasure my sobriety. Visit SR every chance you get. You can do this! We are all here to help you

Dee74

This is so true. I tried to quit for years - eventually I found the right combination of things to help me do that.

look at what you've been doing for your recovery Goldi. Think of what other things perhaps you might be able to add to your recovery regime...

I know you can get there

D

cuyootoo

Alcohol is not your friend.

debsam

I too was in that endless cycle...drinking the night before and then continuing the next day to chase away that HORRIBLE feeling...putting off the withdrawl.

Like Anna said, you have to go through it...by not picking up another drink. You have made it to day 4, before...The one big thing that stopped me from picking up a drink once I started to feel better or something bad happened...was truly REMEMBERING the exact HELL that you are stuck in right now...still works for me today..10 months later.

You CAN do this Goldi

Big Hug