Notices

Day One

Old 11-26-2011, 08:40 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
Day 9!!! Staying strong..no urge what so ever to take any sort of pills, and only had one trigger..I am realizing now the things that kept me using. My environment and the time is not health, mainly due to my addiction, lies, and the hurt I have caused. I am trying my best to think positive and try to realize I can't change the past, I can only change the future. At times I wonder if coming clean to my sign other was the right thing to do, since now every thing he says is negative towards me. Not really everything, he has his cool moments and his tough. That is expected, but wish he could look towards the brightside of things. At least I am still not using and blowing money on things like pills. This time will pass, I need to stay strong. Exercising helps clear my mind, but oh am I sore! Thanks to this forum for giving me a place to talk!
finaltime is offline  
Old 11-26-2011, 08:45 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
congratulations icandoit

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 11-26-2011, 08:56 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
Seared's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 111
There are more people addicted to pills in the world than all illicit drugs combined.

One guy that's recovering was telling me his story. He's actually a legit user; is recovering from a knee surgery and an ankle surgery, on different legs. He has problems with his rotator cuff now.

He says there is the mental pain and the physical pain Pills only *really* help with one of those. He's doing ok on just aspirin & ibuprofen, alternating between the two to not tear up his liver or kidneys as much.

There is hope. Sure beats using up your whole month's prescription in 3 or 4 days.
Seared is offline  
Old 12-08-2011, 02:44 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
Day 21... nice looking back through these threads and seeing where I was at. By no means am I in the clear, or will I ever be, as we all know if we want to stay we clean we always have to be aware. Today marks day 21. How do I feel? Lets see. Its 6:31 am here in dark, cold, wet, China..but I slept through the night! Today is the second night I have slept through the entire night! No more night sweats, anxiety has lifted a bit, headache is still there, but overall throughout the day when I am feeling like a lost puppy I can say it feels great that I have money in the bank and I am not freaking out or making phone calls or emails to find my next high!!! That part feels awesome. I am looking right now at the Christmas tree my man decorated last night all by himself while I was too exhausted to help. I don't feel too bad about that because I did work all day, tutored after work, then made dinner for the family, so being tired at 7:30pm is ok. I came down with a nasty cold around day 10. This was also expected. Nothing worse then being sick, going through withdrawals, and being in a foreign country. There were times I wanted my MOM and nothing else. Thank GOD my man is so amazing, sorry I call him my man, I would say husband or something else but he is so over me at this point I don't know what he is! I pray we can make it through these hard times and become stronger than ever.
So what next? One thing that kept me using is when I am high I am content. I am a functional user...never missed work, nobody ever ever knew I was popping pills ever few hours..So me on pills kept my brain from being super busy. The pills gave me something to look forward too..How pathetic is that!! I don't know how I learned that I needed the pills to be happy. Why can't I be like everyone else, look forward to a trip or event or working out. Nope, I would look forward to popping more pills. If I had them, I was happy, if I was out I was focused on getting more..Endless cycle. So now, I get to learn to relax, be happy with the small things in life. I am a new mother, so my daughter brings me joy. I am going to focus on my energy on her. I don't want her raised like i was.
Yesterday morning sitting at work (I teach kinder) I was feeling like death. One of my students ran in, said my name and gave me the biggest hugs. That hug made my day. Its the little things in life that I am going to look forward to now.
Last thing, the Christmas tree that I am looking at right now makes me sad. Sad that I couldn't step it up to help decorate. I will never again miss any more major events due to this stupid disease. EVER.
Have a great day!!!!! Love you all. My new friends!
finaltime is offline  
Old 12-08-2011, 02:48 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
congratulations on 3 weeks
I will never again miss any more major events due to this stupid disease. EVER.
awesome!
D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-08-2011, 03:05 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
 
overthis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Midwest U.S.A.
Posts: 130
Wow! Congrats on your 21 days, icandoit! Sounds like your heart is in the right place this time around. Stay strong, things will only get better from here!
overthis is offline  
Old 01-09-2012, 02:59 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
Nice going back and reading My first post. 52 days today off the nasty pills!!! I can actually say that I don't think about them all the time anymore. I still think about escaping my thoughts by being high, but I don't obsess about it. My body is still not back to normal, but much much closer!!! I feel good to not have to constantly think about those stupid pills!!
finaltime is offline  
Old 01-09-2012, 03:01 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 46
Welcome! Making it a apart of my daily life!
needtostop1 is offline  
Old 01-09-2012, 03:55 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
 
jocata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
icandoit, I just read through your posts over the last 50 days or so. That is so awesome that you have made it this far!! Keep on going!!

I know exactly what you have been through. I abused pain pills for some time. Not fun to come down from. It also jolted my wife when she found out I was abusing them. She knew I was taking them because of my cancer and back problems, she didn't know I was eating them like candy. We came very close to divorce. Our relationship is still very precarious. It takes a long time to build up that trust again.

Keep going strong!!

God bless.
jocata is offline  
Old 03-17-2012, 06:17 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
Instead of starting a new post, I went back to reading my very first post....Today I am 30 days clean off of pills!!! I am super proud of myself, as the last time I didn't make it..This time has been very different. I feel better each day, and I just know that going back out isn't an option. Today I was at the gym and did 30 straight minutes of cardio, to me that is a huge accomplishment. Before I never did anything active besides pop a pill and want to lay around, watch movies and feel my high...Well NO MORE. I can play with my daughter in the morning bright and early, and not have to wait until the pills kicked in to have a fun time! Now I get up on my own without an alarm, feel wonderful, and am proud of myself at the end of the day.
For those of you are just starting this journey, please know that things get better....and being sober (even though I only have 30 days) is 100% better then being slaves to pills!!! I have tried so many times before to quit, ordered the Thomas recipe online, took time off work to lay in bed, went through withdrawals countless times, and every time I went back. Seems as soon as I started feeling better, the little addict voice inside would say, "that wasn't that bad, you can use them again and control yourself this time. Not take 20 in one day like before, just 2 in the morning, 2 in the afternoon, and 2 at night!" Ha ha yeah right!!!!! Before long I was taking 3 in the morning, 3 by 10, 3 by noon and it would continue. Then I would be angry with myself because they were gone, all to celebrate by taking a lot as soon as I picked up again! UGH, so glad that life is over!!!

So.....30 days...feeling great...Reading back to this last post in November makes me sad, happy, proud, and so not wanting to go back.
finaltime is offline  
Old 03-17-2012, 07:53 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,951
You've made my day much brighter!

Congratulations on 1 month!!!!!
sugarbear1 is offline  
Old 03-17-2012, 09:05 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
 
keltie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: california
Posts: 323
SO PROUD OF YOU!! Way to go~ you're an inspiration, sweetie!
keltie is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:56 AM.