I might mess up tonight
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 71
I might mess up tonight
Well I never made the commitment to give up drinking all together, but have been feeling like I should.
It's only been 3 or 4 days, which is not much for me because I probably drink an average of 2 times a week or so. Sometimes more sometimes less. But I love to get drunk and most of the times I drink, I drink to get drunk or wish that I was. And I suffer horrible hangovers.. more than a 30yr old married mother should. I get cravings for alcohol and I know that's not good.
So I know that I have a problem, I don't think it's a big one, but I don't want it to turn into one.
Of course I made this decision this past week and today my Grandfather was scheduled to have a pacemaker put in. Something went wrong and he got ambulanced to a bigger hospital. Without getting into detail, he's not going to die tonight or anything but things aren't going good. I grew up living across the street from my grandparents.
The hospital he's at now is near where I live. Now my parents and grandmother are on the way and will be staying with us. I am not good in emotional situations. I do not know how to express myself. I don't know how to console others. I feel weird hugging people. I HATE crying in front of people. Even when I'm very upset. I only like hugging my husband and kids during emotional situations. I don't even like hugging my parents. That makes me sound horrible but I love them to death, it just makes me feel weird for some reason.
OK Im rambling. Point is, I don't want to drink... but I really really want to drink. I went to the store and couldve picked up wine but I didn't. The problem is there's a possibility they will bring some. Or my anxiety will get really bad and I will want to go get some.
Part of me thinks it's OK to drink because I never really made a decision to stop, and this is a stressful time. But another part of me knows that there will be many other times like this.
It's only been 3 or 4 days, which is not much for me because I probably drink an average of 2 times a week or so. Sometimes more sometimes less. But I love to get drunk and most of the times I drink, I drink to get drunk or wish that I was. And I suffer horrible hangovers.. more than a 30yr old married mother should. I get cravings for alcohol and I know that's not good.
So I know that I have a problem, I don't think it's a big one, but I don't want it to turn into one.
Of course I made this decision this past week and today my Grandfather was scheduled to have a pacemaker put in. Something went wrong and he got ambulanced to a bigger hospital. Without getting into detail, he's not going to die tonight or anything but things aren't going good. I grew up living across the street from my grandparents.
The hospital he's at now is near where I live. Now my parents and grandmother are on the way and will be staying with us. I am not good in emotional situations. I do not know how to express myself. I don't know how to console others. I feel weird hugging people. I HATE crying in front of people. Even when I'm very upset. I only like hugging my husband and kids during emotional situations. I don't even like hugging my parents. That makes me sound horrible but I love them to death, it just makes me feel weird for some reason.
OK Im rambling. Point is, I don't want to drink... but I really really want to drink. I went to the store and couldve picked up wine but I didn't. The problem is there's a possibility they will bring some. Or my anxiety will get really bad and I will want to go get some.
Part of me thinks it's OK to drink because I never really made a decision to stop, and this is a stressful time. But another part of me knows that there will be many other times like this.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,908
You're either ready to quit drinking or you aren't. There will always be some reason that we think we should have a drink. The truth is, there isn't and we shouldn't. You're playing games with yourself by using your situation as a reason to drink, and saying you haven't really made a decision to stop is a cop out. If you wait for the perfect time to quit drinking, you'll never quit. However, there is no better time to quit than right now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Randolph NJ
Posts: 70
FML-
Sorry to hear about your grandfather. These times are very stressful but it's sounds to me like you want to stop drinking, otherwise I don't think you'd be on this site posting. I've found that when my drinking became a problem it would make stressful situations more stressful, especially after a night of heavy drinking. That's when my anxiety would increase and then the cycle would repeat I'd want to drink to curb the anxiety and stress I felt from the situation and a hangover.
I would suggest that you try not to drink to show support for everyone and yourself. The situation that is stressful will exist tomorrow whether you drink or not tonight.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather. These times are very stressful but it's sounds to me like you want to stop drinking, otherwise I don't think you'd be on this site posting. I've found that when my drinking became a problem it would make stressful situations more stressful, especially after a night of heavy drinking. That's when my anxiety would increase and then the cycle would repeat I'd want to drink to curb the anxiety and stress I felt from the situation and a hangover.
I would suggest that you try not to drink to show support for everyone and yourself. The situation that is stressful will exist tomorrow whether you drink or not tonight.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Prayers for you, your family, and your grandfather FML.
There will be many other times like this for sure - drinking won't help your grandfather & it won't help you either - all the worry and stress will still be there tomorrow, along with the disappointment regret and the hangover drinking brings.
Remember what you said?
I remember from your first post you said how much drinking sucked for you...I guess it's down to you whether you make the commitment to stop now or later.
Now is always better than later tho, believe me
D
There will be many other times like this for sure - drinking won't help your grandfather & it won't help you either - all the worry and stress will still be there tomorrow, along with the disappointment regret and the hangover drinking brings.
Remember what you said?
Alcohol helps for a few hours and then escalates for a few days after.
Now is always better than later tho, believe me
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I was on the fence many many years...I didn't want to drink anymore. I had had it. My family had had it. But I wanted to drink. I liked drinking...so I did...and it escaladed every year until my life became unmanagable and I was out of control and lost my job.
So ultimately the choice is up to you. All the excuses in the world won't change the fact that you drink too much. The sooner you stop, the sooner another situation can be handled properly without the booze. There will ALWAYS be another situation, another excuse in life. No time like the present. Good luck and wishing your Grandfather good health.
So ultimately the choice is up to you. All the excuses in the world won't change the fact that you drink too much. The sooner you stop, the sooner another situation can be handled properly without the booze. There will ALWAYS be another situation, another excuse in life. No time like the present. Good luck and wishing your Grandfather good health.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 71
Arrgh my mom came with 2 bottles (small) of wine..red, which I love. My mom and my husband are having a glass right now. Don't know what I'm going to do so I came upstairs to get on here. My grandmom stayed at the hospital with my grandad so it's not as intense as I thought. I still think I might fail. I tried eating a bunch of popcorn and candy so that if I do drink it will make me feel sick. Hopefully it works.
I know there will be more stressful times like this where I'll feel I need to drink, just like there will be celebratory times or holidays where I feel l need to drink.
Thanks for the support. I don't know what I'm going to do
I know there will be more stressful times like this where I'll feel I need to drink, just like there will be celebratory times or holidays where I feel l need to drink.
Thanks for the support. I don't know what I'm going to do
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Get a good book and read.... (or stay on here for a while). The time is going to go by and the day will be over, so the main question is how do you want to feel tomorrow?
It can seem impossible to get through the cravings sometimes, but you absolutely can. Take a walk, pray, eat......... Every time we get through a time like this, we become stronger and stronger. There's nothing like feeling good about yourself - just try it out and see......
It can seem impossible to get through the cravings sometimes, but you absolutely can. Take a walk, pray, eat......... Every time we get through a time like this, we become stronger and stronger. There's nothing like feeling good about yourself - just try it out and see......
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 133
Originally Posted by FML 
Well I never made the commitment to give up drinking all together, but have been feeling like I should.
It's only been 3 or 4 days, which is not much for me because I probably drink an average of 2 times a week or so..
It's only been 3 or 4 days, which is not much for me because I probably drink an average of 2 times a week or so..
I am only 10 days sober and was sorely tempted tonight but have managed to not drink.
I think everyone upthread has offered you some wonderful advice - that a drink is not going to help.
Read some posts on here - it helps me. I don't have any words of wisdom for you but just wanted you to know that I feel your pain.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
You will deal better with this stressful situation if you are sober. You will soon find out that drinking makes you more anxious, not less; it makes you worse in emotional situations, not better; it makes you more afraid to show emotions, not less.
You mentioned making a promise to yourself to stop drinking, and it sounds to me as though you will take this promise very seriously, because you have mixed emotions about making this decision. This is good.
Here is the thing, though. You don't think that you can make this promise to yourself now. When you finally do make this decision (you know you will someday), it will still be in the present moment for you - you will have to deal with these mixed feelings in your 'now' moment. So, if it will be 'now' to you when you finally make this choice for yourself, why not make this decision 'right now'?
If you are with me on that one, you are ready to answer this question for yourself. What is your plan, the plan for you, about your continuing to use alcohol? When you answer this question for yourself, a great feeling of relief will come to you. Life, no matter what it turns out to be, will be a whole bunch easier when you are actually present for it.
You can do this very simple, most difficult thing for yourself, FML. I think you deserve it, don't you?
You mentioned making a promise to yourself to stop drinking, and it sounds to me as though you will take this promise very seriously, because you have mixed emotions about making this decision. This is good.
Here is the thing, though. You don't think that you can make this promise to yourself now. When you finally do make this decision (you know you will someday), it will still be in the present moment for you - you will have to deal with these mixed feelings in your 'now' moment. So, if it will be 'now' to you when you finally make this choice for yourself, why not make this decision 'right now'?
If you are with me on that one, you are ready to answer this question for yourself. What is your plan, the plan for you, about your continuing to use alcohol? When you answer this question for yourself, a great feeling of relief will come to you. Life, no matter what it turns out to be, will be a whole bunch easier when you are actually present for it.
You can do this very simple, most difficult thing for yourself, FML. I think you deserve it, don't you?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
You're doing great by posting here. Hope you can ride out the urge—it's just a feeling, and you don't have to act on it. It can't hurt you. In fact, if you don't drink, you will wake up feeling proud of yourself tomorrow.
Like freststart, I've found I handle stress waaaaaay better now that I don't drink. And I have fewer things to stress about, since alcohol was directly or indirectly contributing to many of my biggest worries.
My only regret is that I didn't quit sooner. I imagined life without booze would be difficult, maybe kind of empty too. In truth, life is much simpler and more relaxed now, and also much more meaningful.
Glad you found SR. I receive a ton of support and insight here.
I know there will be more stressful times like this
My only regret is that I didn't quit sooner. I imagined life without booze would be difficult, maybe kind of empty too. In truth, life is much simpler and more relaxed now, and also much more meaningful.
Glad you found SR. I receive a ton of support and insight here.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Southern UK
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by FML
I never made the commitment to give up drinking all together, but have been feeling like I should.
There is nothing wrong with what you are saying. I am just trying to pass along a little nugget of information I wish I had had a few years back.
I am sorry to hear about your grandfather.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 71
Well my husband had half his glass of wine then said he didn't like it and gave it to me. And yep, I drank it. I'm not happy about it, but I'm not beating myself up. I didn't enjoy it and I didn't get more. Normally I wouldve polished off the bottle. It was a Fri night, and my parents are here to help with the kids. I usually take full advantage of situations like that.
But I realize that I need to tell my husband I'm trying to get a plan together. I guess I haven't mentioned it to him because I will feel more accountability or pressure. I've tried this before and didn't succeed. I just don't have a plan together yet of what I'm trying to do. I know it will make it easier with his support though. I opened and poured the wine for them last night, with no intention of having any myself. But that "just a little " was too hard to pass up I guess. I'm proud of myself for not letting it turn into a big bit, but I feel like "zero tolerance" is probably my best bet with this thing.
I'm glad I'm on SoberRecovery. It's a healthier addiction than FB and it has really helped me so far. Thank you everyone.
But I realize that I need to tell my husband I'm trying to get a plan together. I guess I haven't mentioned it to him because I will feel more accountability or pressure. I've tried this before and didn't succeed. I just don't have a plan together yet of what I'm trying to do. I know it will make it easier with his support though. I opened and poured the wine for them last night, with no intention of having any myself. But that "just a little " was too hard to pass up I guess. I'm proud of myself for not letting it turn into a big bit, but I feel like "zero tolerance" is probably my best bet with this thing.
I'm glad I'm on SoberRecovery. It's a healthier addiction than FB and it has really helped me so far. Thank you everyone.
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