miamifella

I noticed the "sandwiches." Usually service means helping out with 12-step meetings and official stuff. Making sandwiches is clearly not part of that, so who were you making sandwiches for?

But I do know some sponsors take it to mean personal services. (My roommate in a halfway house got run around ragged by his sponsor--he had to do some cooking and marketing which why you post made me look twice.) If that was the case here, you are well rid of this sponsor.

Impurrfect

(((MuffinhWs)) As much at it FEARS personal, it may not be. This may have brought up feeilngs that trigger her or she's not ready to face..even sponsors are human. Some sponors toe the line..you drink/use? I have hothing for you (may she never slippe and she doesn't kow what to do). Other sponsors a THRILLED to haf3 43-lapsed...bttdt.

I think it's awesome you are still going to meetings. You may actually find another ponsor along the way.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

sugarbear1

Muffinhead hasn't been here since this post on 11-16-11

IllBeFree

Hi Muffinhead...

My sponsor of a year and a half just "fired" me today. I relapsed two weeks ago after finding a bottle of rum in my daughter's room. My sponsor had instructed me to stop going into my daughter's room and looking through her things. This is kind of an on-going struggle between my daughter and I because she INSISTS on always going through my things. So, I immaturely continue to go through her things.

Then I got BIT.

My daughter isn't even really a drinker. I think she purposely put it there to be spiteful. First I tasted it. Then I sipped it. The rest is history. (Not to mention going to see Denzel Washington in FLIGHT just a while ago... Can you say "trigger"?)

I have ingested alcohol on two seperate ocassions within the past three weeks.

From the outside it may seem like I just do not want to stop drinking. Or as my sponsor said to me today I likely have some unresolved "mental health issues"...

At any rate, she is washing her hands of me and advises me to find another sponsor and seek mental health support since I can not seem to GET IT...

I immediately called my grand-sponsor who has convinced me to go on to my Sunday meeting later today and fulfill my commitment to do service work by helping to set up the meeting. She says shows that I want this due to my calling her.

Yes, I WANT THIS...

I feel like my sponsor has spent over a year trying to convince me that I am an alcoholic to reject me because I am an alcoholic.

I am very sad.

But I am going on to my meeting.

I wish you well Muffinhead.

ClearLight

I don't know if this is similar or not but I'll offer it anyway.
I was "fired" by my therapist. She was treating me for depression. I wasn't drinking at the time. For five years I want without a drop and no cravings... but I was depressed because of other things. With medication and therapy I came out of depression. My doctor said I would get back to my old self and I did - I started drinking again.
My therapist said she couldn't help me with this addiction and said I should find another therapist. At first I thought it was FREEDOM.
But the drinking kept up and I realized I actually did need another therapist - which I'm seeing now.
The thing is I don't think this about just your limitations. I think it's about your sponsor's limitations. Just like my first therapist had her limitations.
If AA was working for it seems to me you just might need a new sponsor better suited to your needs.
Something to consider from a guy on day two!
Good luck.

tomsteve

i am a sponsor and a sponsee. i fired my first sponsor. why? welp, one of the reasons was he fired people who drank but still came back. IMO, it is not reaching out to the still suffering alcoholic.
at one time i overlaoded myself with sponsees. my motives were right, but i knew i made a mistake and took on too much. my solution? call my sponsor( not the old one) and get some advise. his advise was to first seek out someone who would make good sponsors for a few of the sponsees i had, then talk to the sponsee and explain where i had made a mistake( which is the 10th step in action). then line em up with a sponser.
he also suggested thinkin about my sponsees and sponsors. worked out good.

wpainterw

I would not have volunteered to disclose the drinking unless I was asked and then I hope that I would not have lied. I question whether the sponsor should have dropped you, since relapses or "slips" are common in recovery and I hope you can get a more cooperative and kindly sponsor.I hope that losing your sponsor did not upset your sobriety even further but if I had been your sponsor I would have been concerned about that; a sponsor's saying that she does not have "time" for someone who slips may indicate an insufficient awareness of her responsibility. Doctors are sworn to something like, "Above all else, do no harm." I had the same problem when I had to put my dog to sleep back in 1982. I got myself to an AA meeting, told the group about what was going on (I was not drinking but thought I might do that) and was admonished by the person leading the group for "not paying more attention to my "higher power". I left the group (have never returned to that particular group), went to a pay phone, called my doctor and he prescribed something to help me with my anxiety. This helped and I never drank. I lost two more dogs, one in 1999 and the other (that I had to put to sleep) in 2006. I never drank then either. So I know what it's like to lose an animal. So remember, you can call your doctor (hope she's a cat lover) and you can get another sponsor (why not a cat loving one too!)

W.

Fernaceman

I have been "fired" or "let go" by a sponsor. Only it was after SEVERAL drinking bouts of a childish cycle. Drink, call him the next day all shameful, say "I had to get it out of my system and I'll do whatever it takes," only to do the same cycle again a few days/weeks later. This was a couple years ago, he is still my friend, but he said he couldn't really help me more at that point. He had given me all the wisdom he could and it was probably for the better that I try to seek out someone else' guidance.

I have also fired sponsors. Only because I was trying to find fault in them that usually turned out to be in a fault in myself.

Oh well, they say progress, not perfection for a reason.

wpainterw

P.S. Perhaps there are some who might have my misgivings about the use of the term "fire" in this context. This term is more common in employment situations, where there is a employer-employee relationship, based on mutual commercial benefit. A "sponsor" on the other hand, serves as a volunteer caregiver and mentor, a capacity somewhat similar to a health professional. I'd hate to say that I'd ever "fired" my doctor or that he "fired" me. Indeed, in medical malpractice law there can be civil liability for what is called "abandonment", namely discontinuing to act in a professional capacity before the patient has found another physician. Although I cannot say that a "sponsor" has a similar legal obligation, nonetheless I hope that there might be a humanitarian one which might include (1) not to use the term "fire", (2) to communicate the possible termination of the relationship personally in a kindly manner so as to lessen the risk that the sponsee might drink over it and thus exacerbate an already dangerous situation, and (3) to volunteer to act as a standby to help until the sponsee finds another person to take the sponsor's place.

W.

nogard

Muffinhead not around still, but should you read this, please get a new sponsor or a new recovery path.

Sorry about your pussycat

choublak

Marketing?

Nikkipoo

"I'm really leaning toward asking my doctor to just prescribe a pill to help with the cravings".

There are meds out there that help with cravings.....

I am so sorry to hear about your cat.

leighqt

Remember powerless over people places things, her choice, don't let it hinder your continued recovery

LBrain

leight, you have posted in several threads that are a few years old around sponsorship questions, perhaps hook up with the 12 step forum to find like minded people,
just thought I'd point that out - you are replying to someone from 3 years ago who may not be here now.
Welcome to the forum