Sara23

So I posted yesterday about how I was a little nervous to explain to my friends that I was not drinking. But I got some great advice from some of yall and decided to take the "Im taking it easy for a while" route. Yesterday was ladies night and we went walking and while we were working out one of my friends actually brought up how she wants to stop drinking for a while and get healthier. It was the perfect opportunity for me to announce that I too was taking a break from drinking for a while. To my surprise and delight a few of my other friends said that they wanted to do the same thing and we started making a pact to stay booze free for a while. How long my friends can stay sober is unknown and really insnt my concern, but it is nice to know that I am not being judged for my decision and that I actually have supporters and people who want to do the same thing. Hopefully it will make this process easier.

Seared

There are a lot of programs that encourage you to dump all of your "drinking friends", AA in particular. I think it's important to make the distinction, because simply severing contact to all your friends isn't exactly healthy either.

The two primary criteria I use are: 'How many hours do you spend sober with this fiend vs how many do you spend drinking?' And of course, 'would they understand if I decided not to drink with them?'

Sounds like you got a good group of friends there, best of luck to you.

overthis

I am new to sobriety and have only told my husband and parents at this point. It must feel good to have had such a supportive reaction from your friends. Congrats on taking another step towards recovery.

switchboard

That's excellent! Not only have you covered yourself, you also scored some support. Perfect! ... AND you've set yourself up for "enjoying the benefits of sobriety and have decided to remain a tea totaller for now" response (assuming you will make that decision), if any of your buddies decide it's time to partake in a few drinks at some point.

Nice job - And congrats!

Sara23

Thanks Seared! Fortunately my friends and I do partake in other activities that dont involve drinking, however, when we do drink we all take it to the extreme. It really did feel good knowing that I wasnt going to be judged or looked down upon either. I mean at 27 years old I would hope my friendships didnt revolve around drinking and partying like when we were younger but I guess you dont really know until you start trying new things and seeing who is still there.

Dee74

I'm glad you have some support Sara - the only trouble I had with the 'I'm taking things easy for a while' line is that my buddies kept asking me when the 'while' would be up....

This is a bit of a misleading simplification, I think.

I did dump a lot of my friends - the drinking buddies with whom the only thing I had in common was drinking.

It was necessary for me, and healthy - and I made lots of new friends and reconnected with a lot of old ones too.

I think it's a good idea to look at your life and examine those parts that are not perhaps conducive to sobriety.

In my experience, a non drinker can't really live a drinkers life and expect to say sober. I tried.

Most of us find we do need to change things (and I'm not in AA, btw)

D