This To Shall Pass
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
This To Shall Pass
Good Morning Everyone,
So where to begin this story… well where all the stories on SR start… I am an alcoholic. I started drinking when I was young but, it didn’t become a problem until about 5 years ago when my mother passed away and my partner left me for another woman. So, I drink to hide my feelings of shame and regret and sadness. But, I was still a high functioning drunk and life went on. I drank when I needed to escape whatever was going on… and when my feelings became to much to handle.
I met an amazing man and we got married and have been somewhat happily married for 3 years. But, in those three years I have gotten 3 DUI’s. I have been sober (on and off) several times for the past 5 months. But, I have gotten several 24 hours behind me now and I am working a great program with an wonderful sponsor and I am finally at the point where I have surrendered.
So, in dealing with my consequences I have to face a judge on Wednesday and I am facing a few things
1) DUI court for 48 weeks… 3 group counseling meetings a week, 3 mandatory AA meetings (which I have been doing without it being mandatory), and 2 drug/alcohol screens a week (mandatory)
2) 6 days in jail (starting next Tuesday… and going through next Sunday…) So, I will be spending my Thanksgiving in jail sadly
3) 2 years of probation
4) 1 year without driving
5) 80 hours of community service
6) Fines, fines, more fines
So, when I look at this list I feel overwhelmed like I can not do it and like I better go and get my drink on now since I am not going to be able to afterward. But, then I take a step back and I remember my higher power and I pray… your will not mine be done. I then remember I have done several 24 hours behind me… and that my HP got me through it. And, that even if I have to be sent to jail… it is a lesson that I need to learn. And, that I have to go through this and that I have lessons in it that I also need to learn.
Does it suck? Yeah it does… big balls… sucks. But, I could be locked up for a year for what I did. The judge didn’t have to give me the option of DUI court. And, I am grateful for options. I could go to trail and if I fail I could get 90 days to a year. So, I am going the route I have chosen. It wasn’t an easy decision. But, I was the one that got in the car after drinking. I was the one who by the grace of God alone didn’t kill anyone. I have to get and stay sober. And, with that I have lessons to learn that will get me there. Even if that means no thanks giving with my family. Which in the end does make me sad but, it isn’t the end of the world. I can make it through. And, at the end of it I still have a husband who loves me and only for the grace of my high power is sticking it out with me. When I know it isn’t the easiest thing in the world for him to do. He made the decision to stick with me. Even though he did think about leaving at one point. I am not doing this for him. I am doing this because I deserve a better life. I am doing this because I have an alcoholic mind that will do anything for it’s next hit. And, I am not giving it. I am telling it that I am in control and feelings are just feelings. And, that this to shall pass.
Thanks for reading. I just needed to put this out to the universe somewhere.
Saliena
So where to begin this story… well where all the stories on SR start… I am an alcoholic. I started drinking when I was young but, it didn’t become a problem until about 5 years ago when my mother passed away and my partner left me for another woman. So, I drink to hide my feelings of shame and regret and sadness. But, I was still a high functioning drunk and life went on. I drank when I needed to escape whatever was going on… and when my feelings became to much to handle.
I met an amazing man and we got married and have been somewhat happily married for 3 years. But, in those three years I have gotten 3 DUI’s. I have been sober (on and off) several times for the past 5 months. But, I have gotten several 24 hours behind me now and I am working a great program with an wonderful sponsor and I am finally at the point where I have surrendered.
So, in dealing with my consequences I have to face a judge on Wednesday and I am facing a few things
1) DUI court for 48 weeks… 3 group counseling meetings a week, 3 mandatory AA meetings (which I have been doing without it being mandatory), and 2 drug/alcohol screens a week (mandatory)
2) 6 days in jail (starting next Tuesday… and going through next Sunday…) So, I will be spending my Thanksgiving in jail sadly
3) 2 years of probation
4) 1 year without driving
5) 80 hours of community service
6) Fines, fines, more fines
So, when I look at this list I feel overwhelmed like I can not do it and like I better go and get my drink on now since I am not going to be able to afterward. But, then I take a step back and I remember my higher power and I pray… your will not mine be done. I then remember I have done several 24 hours behind me… and that my HP got me through it. And, that even if I have to be sent to jail… it is a lesson that I need to learn. And, that I have to go through this and that I have lessons in it that I also need to learn.
Does it suck? Yeah it does… big balls… sucks. But, I could be locked up for a year for what I did. The judge didn’t have to give me the option of DUI court. And, I am grateful for options. I could go to trail and if I fail I could get 90 days to a year. So, I am going the route I have chosen. It wasn’t an easy decision. But, I was the one that got in the car after drinking. I was the one who by the grace of God alone didn’t kill anyone. I have to get and stay sober. And, with that I have lessons to learn that will get me there. Even if that means no thanks giving with my family. Which in the end does make me sad but, it isn’t the end of the world. I can make it through. And, at the end of it I still have a husband who loves me and only for the grace of my high power is sticking it out with me. When I know it isn’t the easiest thing in the world for him to do. He made the decision to stick with me. Even though he did think about leaving at one point. I am not doing this for him. I am doing this because I deserve a better life. I am doing this because I have an alcoholic mind that will do anything for it’s next hit. And, I am not giving it. I am telling it that I am in control and feelings are just feelings. And, that this to shall pass.
Thanks for reading. I just needed to put this out to the universe somewhere.
Saliena
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Philly PA
Posts: 814
I am doing this because I deserve a better life. I am doing this because I have an alcoholic mind that will do anything for it’s next hit. And, I am not giving it. I am telling it that I am in control and feelings are just feelings. And, that this to shall pass.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,919
5 of the 6 consequences you listed involve time. (The 6th one also does if you figure the time you need to work to pay your fines). While the time looks like a lot when you write it out, you can only serve it "one day at a time" just like your sobriety, so don't get overwhelmed. You can get through this.
I'm glad that you see the DUI court as a blessing. It can really help you and it's a much better option to just being locked up.
I'm glad that you see the DUI court as a blessing. It can really help you and it's a much better option to just being locked up.
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