Challenging Day--Day 8
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
Challenging Day--Day 8
Today was hard to me.
It was like I was being tempted by an alter ego. It's Sunday so I was stressed about work and maybe depressed. Normally I would have a drink or two and lose that feeling of depression. I would, however, also lose my ability to do anything.
AND we went to lunch in a new restaurant--yeah--sort of a brew pub.
But I did it. I said, have lunch, go ride the horse, then if you must, you can have a drink. I have not done a good job with the horses for some time. That is because I have been spending my free time otherwise occupied. It is time to commit to this.
After a good ride I always want a couple of beers. It's a victory for me--I have vanquished my fears and had this significant experience with my horse, so I celebrate.
As we left the barn, thank God it was cold. I drove us through Starbucks for hot chocolate. Victory celebrated.
Deciding to pick up is SO EASY. A drink changes everything. And then, it changes everything. It is hard to keep the long run in the forefront of my mind. The release from my existence that alcohol has afforded me is so hard to deny myself. But I know I have to do it because it's fleeting. The release is in being able to face reality head on. And that's perhaps what I'm afraid of.
But...I did fine. We've had dinner. I'm tired and my "riding muscles" are sore. There are clean flannel sheets on the bed. Monday is coming.
Hang in there guys. It really is one step at a time. One minute at a time.
Bring on Day Nine.
It was like I was being tempted by an alter ego. It's Sunday so I was stressed about work and maybe depressed. Normally I would have a drink or two and lose that feeling of depression. I would, however, also lose my ability to do anything.
AND we went to lunch in a new restaurant--yeah--sort of a brew pub.
But I did it. I said, have lunch, go ride the horse, then if you must, you can have a drink. I have not done a good job with the horses for some time. That is because I have been spending my free time otherwise occupied. It is time to commit to this.
After a good ride I always want a couple of beers. It's a victory for me--I have vanquished my fears and had this significant experience with my horse, so I celebrate.
As we left the barn, thank God it was cold. I drove us through Starbucks for hot chocolate. Victory celebrated.
Deciding to pick up is SO EASY. A drink changes everything. And then, it changes everything. It is hard to keep the long run in the forefront of my mind. The release from my existence that alcohol has afforded me is so hard to deny myself. But I know I have to do it because it's fleeting. The release is in being able to face reality head on. And that's perhaps what I'm afraid of.
But...I did fine. We've had dinner. I'm tired and my "riding muscles" are sore. There are clean flannel sheets on the bed. Monday is coming.
Hang in there guys. It really is one step at a time. One minute at a time.
Bring on Day Nine.
Congrats on day 8! You can do this.Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 344
Originally Posted by Missy7 
I have not done a good job with the horses for some time.
She passed away at age 31 this year. In the previous 5 years or so, I'd only ridden her a handful of times. I'm struggling with the guilt I have for choosing alcohol over her while I still had her.
Congratulations to you for making the right choice for both yourself and your horse. good job.
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