cuyootoo

WHITE KNUCKLING: This term makes it seem like it's a bad thing to resist the temptation to drink. From time to time, everybody wants to drink again, I find that my severely tempting periods last about 36 hours. It's like a sleeping giant is waking up.

DRY DRUNK: In the first place it's bad form to call anybody a drunk. In the second place this term makes it seem like a bad thing to be abstaining from alcohol. Simply abstaining is a good thing and shouldn't be criticized.

WET BRAIN: This is just backwards to use this word and it has no basis in medicine, although I have read about alcoholic dementia, which is apparently a real phenomenon.

Since vocabulary influences thought and learning and behavior, I think its important to remove these words from our vocabulary. There are lots of other words like this out there, lets identify them.

EricL

Not true at all. I can remember once in the last 10 years that I actually wanted to drink. There are many people for whom alcohol simply is a non issue and the temptation is not there anymore.

I agree with dry drunk to an extent. I do agree its overused, and at times implies that one method of recovery is superior to another which simply is not true. Success is success, people may different paths to the same goal. But when used in regards to the crusty alcoholic who has made no changes in his life besides putting the drink down... then yeah I do find it an appropriate term.

Some that I would love to do away with are "relapse" and "slip" either I'm drinking or not, there really is no middle ground. Like being "kinda pregnant".

instant

There is a lot of folklore and at time heated debate about philosophies of this and that to do with alcoholism. I do not go to AA but I am sure in the Big Book there is some sage advice of "live and let live" and not buying into controversy. I am thankful I have followed this advice as I have a tendency to become a crusader, which is an unhealthy habit ( or do I mean "defect of character" LOL).

I think the first two terms are trying to refer to people who are not drinking but are either not doing or struggling in their step work.

LosingmyMisery

Although these words don't agree with you, what if I can relate and understand them? I vote we keep them. No need to limit our recovery vocabulary.

steelmagnolia

i agree with you...losingmisery. a rose by any other name....is still a rose. who cares what i choose to call it vs. what others chose to call it. i still know what it is. remember cuy...we dont stumble over mountains in life....we stumble over rocks! you see these terms as a rock for you....go around them. good luck....mags

Itchy

I stay away from verbal controversy because I am a lesbian living in a man's body and am attracted to women. Really! My wife is a homosexual male living in a woman's body and prefers men too! We're heterosexuals in practice who are still practicing and who must be gender confused because words are so nasty sometimes!!!

Let's make a deal. I won't "should" on you, if you don't "should" on me.

Seriously? Seriously.

LosingmyMisery

This is what the phrases mean to me. The meanings may vary from your own.

WHITE KNUCKLING: To struggle/fight the urge to drink without a program or guidance. I learned that if I followed a structured program/process the urges went away and abstaining became easier. Simply abstaining is a good thing, but it can be better.

DRY DRUNK: Someone who obtains from alcohol, but has not dealt with the reasons why they drank in the first place. As a result, they are angry, frustrated and unhappy. Again, abstaining is a good thing, but dealing with our issues is better than simply abstaining. I was a drunk and have no problem saying it like it is. The truth hurts, but from that pain, I have found joy through recovery.

WET BRAIN: Wet brain is a form of brain damage. Wet brain is also called Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, Korsakoff's psychosis, Wernicke's encephalopathy, and beri beri. The symptoms of wet brain may sometimes improve with therapy but it is often permanent and irreversible.

All I had to do was Google and there were many definitions that would back this up as a real medical condition. Wet brain is the result of a vitamin deficiency. I suffered from vitamin deficiencies and it was very unpleasant. I'm lucky that it didn't develop into anything permanent.

steelmagnolia

thanks losingmisery....those are the definitions that i always understood for the above terms. hence...my vote to use them. thanks....mags

Mark75

I used to fear words, especially a lot of those used in recovery. The one that caused me the most fear was "real alcoholic"... what if I wasn't... LOLOLOLOL

I think it's useful to know what it is to white knuckle... I know what it is and it sucks... Dry drunk? I can only tell you what it means to me and I know that it is something I can avoid if I take certain steps (they can be 12 steps or just doing the right thing or something nice for another person...).

Wet Brain is real. As Losingmy noted.

Once I began to lose the fear, I wasn't upset about those words.

RobbyRobot

Simple google research brings up countless definitions of all the above. Those definitions have years of historic debate from all sides. For myself, I have no difficulty with any of the above words, and I see the debates as healthy and useful, although debating does have its limits of course. At the end of the day, I'd rather have freedom of expression discussing real experiences then just debating for its own sake.

LosingmyMisery

What I have grown to understand are my opinions and beliefs, at the beginning of my recovery, are not necessarily the beliefs and opinions I share today. Recovery is ever evolving. With time, perspectives shift. One thing remains constant, I don't drink and I work on recovery every day. Yes, I've come across many annoyances and thought things should change and be eliminated, but understood, in time, what I once thought unecessary I "get" and find significant in fully understanding recovery and how it works.

Terminally Unique

I nominate "sobriety"

suki44883

If all words that offended someone were eliminated, there would be very few words. Take what you want and leave the rest.

cuyootoo

...and I have a few books I would like to ban. JUST KIDDING.

ZenJen

I agree completely with restraining from limiting our vocabulary (in any sense really; not only in relation to recovery and alcoholism).
However, finding in yourself that you feel some common vernacular is really useless I think points to coming to a point in your recovery where you've found some solid foundation/stability - or, at least enough so that you feel comforatble with no longer just absorbing all you can about being and keeping sober, but also with judging and calculating what you find truly useful.
It's in that place that I think you can apply the addage: "Take what you need, and leave the rest."
After all, I think most of us here can agree that we're all about changing ourselves - not the world

ZenJen

Threshold

Hmmm. I used the term white-knuckling way back before I ever started using. I use it when I am forcing myself, against odd, to get through a day, event, emotion. I truly never thought of it as a "to use or not to use" sort of thing, it just always meant I was struggling through my day.

Using didn't bring me relief, it was just part of the struggle. The white-knuckling was never relieved by using, using was a sign of it.