Personality changes?
 

When I first started dating my boyfriend, I was thinking about quitting, but my attempts at sobriety were truly half-hearted (and I knew it). For nearly every date, he would pick me up from my house. As someone who suffers with social anxiety AND a tendency to drink more than I should, you can probably guess what I was during right before he'd pick me up...

I never told him that I consider myself an alcoholic, but a couple months into our dating, I did tell him I planned to stop drinking due to health issues. I guarantee he has no idea that I ever abused alcohol.

Last night, he told me that he liked how cheerful, chatty, and spontaneous I was when we first started dating. He said that I've been more withdrawn and serious the past couple months. He hinted that he liked my previous personality more than my current one. To be honest, I do too, but I don't plan to start drinking again to get it back.

Do any of you ever feel like people liked your alcohol-flavored personality more than your sober one? It's kind of a shame, but maybe once I'm fully comfortable with and stable in my sobriety, I'll regain some of my old charm.

How long ago was your last drink? Maybe you haven't fully physically recovered and your mood will improve? Whatever you do, don't use his comments as an excuse to start drinking again!

I haven't been counting the days, but I'd say it's been about 1.5 months? I didn't encounter any physical withdrawal symptoms, but I'm not sure how long it takes for the body to feel recovered.

I don't think he intended to hurt my feelings, but I'm determined to stay sober.

I'm just the opposite. I have always been easily sociable and very outgoing. My problem was dealing with stuff when I was alone at home and anxious/bored.

People tell me all the time they HATE my alcohol FUELED personality. If I could control my drinking, I may have had that problem lol. I made a fool of myself one too many times for people to say they liked that version of me better.

Oh, how I envy you! I'd love to be naturally sociable, but I guess I'll have to settle for sober and maybe a bit dull ;-)

I'd rather be a little bit calmer and dull haha...

Welcome Chuck :)

I hope that, with some time, you'll grow fully into sober you and your bf will like that :)

I'm not the party animal I pretended to be for 20 years - but I'm much happier being me :)

D

I'd rather be a little bit calmer and dull haha...

Honestly, people like me when I am sober better than when I am drinking too much. But if I don't drink too much, but I do drink a lot, I make new friends that way too. The end result of drinking way too much, for me, though is loosing all my friends. Alcoholism is a really lonely disease.

Hi Chuck48,

This is a good thread, talking about personality change and other people's reactions. I am less social than I thought I was, a lot of the time I would drink around other people because the alcohol stimulated conversation what would otherwise be very dull indeed for me.
Now the only conversations that really interest me are ones about recovery. I enjoy my own company a lot more and am more self motivated and can amuse myself.
Another thing I have noticed is that I used to always have the news on as I went about the apartment, now I just listen to classical music. I used the radio to block out the thoughts, the anxiety as a distraction.

I am so much calmer nowdays.

CaiHong