jkdcgill03

You know, it is amazing the stuff we (alcoholics) put ourselves and our friends and family through. I've been putting people thru it since 03' and enough is enough. I just recently got over my bump of denial (Oct 11'). I have put my family thru so much stuff that it is hard to forgive myself. I have a wife that has known that I had a problem but it is like she let me try to figure it out on my own. I didn't until now. I have 2 beautiful children and the first child (8 yr old son) has an idea of what is going on but of course he doesn't know the details. I was a closet drunk or so I thought. My wife literally found the bottles in the closet among other places. My point is this, alcohol has taken up 10 out of my 32 yrs here on earth and has ruined alot of stuff for me. I am ready to let it go. Not because I need to but because I want to (AA Big book). This is hard to do but I keep thinking about how much I have missed out on life messing with the beast (alcohol). I am ready and willing to move on, I want to do it for me first and then for everything else that matters in my life (Family, Friends, Job).

GoMan

jkd...

It sounds like you have a good grasp of your situation. Your wife sounds like a saint! At 32 years old, there is plenty of good life left for you and your family without the cloudiness of booze. I'm 46 with 3 kids and a wife that no longer will let me "figure the drinking" out on my own. She has had enough and one more "bust" and I am gone. I am truthfully tired of the... hiding my booze and hope I don't get caught routine.

Please don't let the booze ruin you and your precious family! I am working hard as well!

GoMan

instant

Good decision. No one can do it for us.

Dee74

Hi jkdcgill03

I agree with GoMan - it's never too late to quit, to start living right and for being the man you know you can be.

I drank for 20 years and quit at 40 so you're ahead of me in the pack

My advice is try and put the past behind you - it's closed to us all - focus on the day you can do something about - today

welcome to SR!
D

D

jkdcgill03

Thanks Folks---I am going to do it one day at a time---I am doing somethings that will prevent some triggers---Being homesick is definitely a trigger so I am moving in with a family until I can be with mine---We have been apart for a little while (military) and I know that the loneliness is one of my triggers---I am a family type, I hate being alone---Not sure if it is co-dependency or what. I love my family and during my sober times, they thought the world of me---I want that back but I know I have to work for it and that is what I am going to do...Once again, thanks for the feedback

Anna

I'm glad that you feel good about your decisions and that you are going to move forward with your recovery.

Military life is hard on a family unit and hard on each of the individuals involved. Good for you for taking care of yourself.

Zebra1275

Sounds like you might be thinking about AA as a program of recovery. After trying to quit by myself for a long time I finally gave up and jumped into AA. I know that AA is not for everybody, but for me it has helped.

jkdcgill03

Zebra---I love AA because it gives me hope to hear some of these folks who are 10-30 yrs sober. Its like they are giving the addictive disease the bird (Flipping it off). They can't beat the disease but they can give their all to fight back by using AA. Plus I like the stories from both the participants and the AA book.

artsoul

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your service.....

Glad you've decided to get sober - it sounds like you're taking some positive steps (including signing up here)! Being sober takes a little time to get used to, but you won't regret it!

If we can do it, you can too!

Hevyn

So glad you've decided to join us and to reach out for a better life. I wish I could have made that decision when I was 32. My life was torn apart because I tried to manage my drinking. You already know that isn't possible.

You mention you've missed out on things by messing with alcohol. It's amazing how - in the beginning - we think of drinking as something fun, & an escape from everyday worries. I never thought the thing I used to relax would turn my world upside down. Glad you've come to this conclusion, and you're ready for the next chapter in your life. You can do it!