How many times did you relapse before this sober time?
 

I have relapsed more than 10 times. I think it has probably been more than 20 times. I am having a hard time embracing a life without alcohol ever again. I have been sober for 34 days and I am thinking about how happy I will be when I can just start drinking again.

I know the feeling.

I think you'll find that living in the purgatory of indecision is not very pleasant.

well think about how crappy you felt about yourself when you were on day one, and how crappy you will feel if you have to go back there. And how if you keep on trying you will have the same old tired dialogue running through your head ,'its ok, I can moderate', 'i love drinking' to 'i hate myself, I am a looser, I fail at everything, i need to stop this'...............Aren't you so tired of this cycle of ********? I know I am.
Cuyootoo...................dont drink, its not worth it! x

I can't tell you how many times I have relapsed. In the past 29 days, I have not relapsed once. It took me along time to realize just how miserable I was with alcohol. You have to truly WANT to quit before you can actually quit.
Most of the times that I had quit in the past, I had been doing it only to accomodate everyone else in my life. Now, I just want it for myself. I only hurt myself and those around me when I am drunk. It is not worth it to me anymore.

If you change nothing, nothing changes.
Well done on the 34 days x

I was caught in the same horrible cycle... 1 month sober... drink again... 2 months sober.. drink again... 5 months sober.. DUI.. again.

Like SIS75 said today I was only looking for a way to drink without consquences. It wasn't until I wanted I understood my life was better without drinking that I truly was in it whole heartedly.

Good luck to you!

That's your alcoholic voice lying to you. You must have had a good reason to quit. Hold on to that reason and kick that lying voice to the curb.

I relapsed too many times to count before I finally made it for good. I was never 'happy' to start drinking again, on the contrary, I hated myself for giving in and - again - wrecking my sobriety. Drinking never made me happy, it made me wish I were dead.:(

I'm in early recovery so I may not have the best advise, but I had problems staying sober for more than a few weeks until I accepted the fact that I can NEVER drink again. I know 100% that I will never be able to moderate. Accepting that has helped me a lot and staying sober has been easier since then.

I am working on my to do list. There are a couple of problems in my life that I don't know how to solve other than drinking. I need to find the courage to work on these 2 problems otherwise I think I will start drinking again.

This is my first time "really trying" which means in the past I've been like "I think I should stop drinking - maybe I won't drink tomorrow" and then I'd drink.:whoop

So I haven't relapsed but I'm just starting to come to terms with I can never drink again. For now I'm not drinking today or this weekend. Already convinced myself I can't drink during Thanksgiving...

My guess is early December I'll come to terms with the fact that I can't drink at Christmas ... and so on.

I plan on never having a relapse. Trying to learn from all the posts here.

I know that feeling. I relapsed a lot before my sobriety really "stuck". I think it comes down to how serious you are about getting sober and what decisions you are willing to make to get healthy.

What sort of problems does drinking solve, except possibly withdrawal?

I wonder why you tired to get sober in the first place? Why have you deprived yourself for 34 days ?

Life has more to offer than it seems- I could not see that until I took off my alcohol glasses

Why do you ask? Not everyone relapses. My first try over two years ago seemed to work but I don't look at it as my entire life...just today. Sometimes I think maybe I will drink in a few months..but for now just not drinking today works.

And I agree drinking doesn't solve anything.

Drinking solves the problem of feeling tired, irritable, and discontent. But it also makes tired, irritable and discontent worse later. That's why just drink more later.

Seriously though, I am starting to think, "things will be different this time..." if I start drinking again. What a bunch of bs right? How dumb can I get to believe that one.

We all believed that. Baffling, cunning, powerful...the important thing is to recognize the lie for what it is. Alcohol will steal your soul if you let it. Eliminate alcohol and sort through the reasons why we drank in the first place and life will get better. We try to forget, hide, escape from our problems. Face the problems head on and your life will begin again anew.

I "tried" to stop for a while, then I would try social drinking which made me feel anything but social. There was a vast difference when I WANTED to stop, it felt less stressful.

I 'quit' then went back to drinking once or twice a week for 15 years maybe?

the last 5 years sober have been the best of my life :)

dealing with stuff I tried to drown with booze for years was not pleasant, but it wasn't impossible either - the fear of dealing with them was actually worse I think.

D

I never relapsed once since getting sober
back on 8-11-90, some 21 yrs of many
one days at a time collected together to
get me where I am today.

Happy Joyous Free