Newcomer here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 42
Okay, made it out of the building and am home.
From the point of reference I am at right now you people are angles or at very least been inspired by a higher power to help when you do. God Bless you all!
Didn't make it out of the building though without bumping into my boss in the stairwell. Explained it all to him and told him I just had to get out of there. He gave me a HUGE hug and with a tear in his eye told me to do whatever I had to too get better and he would support me. If there's a heaven he's surely earned his place as have you all.
I'm pretty much an emotional wreck right now but at least home with my best friend doggy who has had so many tears cried on her it's amazing she's not drowned.
I'm okay for now and God Bless you ALL for giving a $hit.
Will post later.
From the point of reference I am at right now you people are angles or at very least been inspired by a higher power to help when you do. God Bless you all!
Didn't make it out of the building though without bumping into my boss in the stairwell. Explained it all to him and told him I just had to get out of there. He gave me a HUGE hug and with a tear in his eye told me to do whatever I had to too get better and he would support me. If there's a heaven he's surely earned his place as have you all.
I'm pretty much an emotional wreck right now but at least home with my best friend doggy who has had so many tears cried on her it's amazing she's not drowned.
I'm okay for now and God Bless you ALL for giving a $hit.
Will post later.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ny/nj
Posts: 182
keep at it
thank you for your post. It is a struggle, isn't it? But you took a HUGE first step of admitting to yourself that you have a problem. If your dog motivates you, use that. Best of luck in your recovery. Life really can be GREAT without alcohol.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by least 
For you and doggie friend. :ghug3 And a big hug for your boss!
What's your dog's name? Mine are Nikko, Jack,and Snoopy.
What's your dog's name? Mine are Nikko, Jack,and Snoopy.
I named her Sophie because when my pop and I's other dog, (JoJo) died I knew I had to get another dog for pop because him and JoJo had been so close that pop always said when JoJo died he'd surely soon follow. That's pretty much what happened. Me and pop lived together for the most part ever since I got out of the Army. Mom passed away when I was 16. Anyway,.... after JoJo died I knew I needed to do SOMETHING for/with pop . Not that another dog could or would replace the close relationship JoJo and pop had but we both just needed another so I took pop the the local animal shelter.
I had my eye on this beautiful boarder collie but pop called me over to where he was standing, pointed into a cage and said, "this dog needs us". It was the most scrawniest little hound, (Yorkie/Poodle mutt) in the shelter and shaking to death in the back of the cage. They were going to put her down. I/we could NOT let that happen so I/we saved her. Knowing how pop was grieving over loosing JoJo I named the new dog, Sophie. Sophie being the pet name my dad used to call my mother. I hoped by doing that it would sooner endear pop to Sophie. It did but pop died anyway a few months later. One of the last things pop told me before he died other than I should always be a good person was to take care of Sophie. After loosing JoJo and then my pop and then my girlfriend it was all about more than I could handle. I hooked up a sweeper hose to my vehicle and ran it through the window. As I sat there I noticed Sophie staring at me with her little black nose pressed to the window as if to say who's going to take care of me afterwards. I couldn't do it. So you see, she really did save my life in more ways than one.
It's probably obvious I've been drinking since I got home huh?
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I was pretty much where you are now, last year at 58. It is amazing how old and mortal we can feel when we allow ourselves the luxury of the self indulgence of alcoholism. First thing is what are you doing to day to help yourself? Have you found the local AA place and started getting ready to go to your first meeting? I know that sounds really scary but we all have been in your shoes. You have taken a giant positive step in telling your boss. Many people don't realize until much later that most folks who counted already knew they had problems, and keeping secrets is part of this disease. Ever notice that bars and clubs and other places where people drink at night are dark places? Places where we can go unnoticed?
I used my Doc and when I was unable to do it alone I went to a VA hospital for detox in house for 7 days. Then I used counseling, AA, here at SR (a major part of my recovery) and now a year later plus I am feeling very different about life and myself and my place in the future of those around me.
You know that at an AA meeting you don't have to speak or tell your story or anything. Most of us are terrified and sit in the back, some with tears streaming until we are ready.
I needed to have friends who made it that I could talk to face to face, as well as the unbelievably supportive folks here on SR.
It sounds like you might benefit from that too.
As well read a lot here, try our chat room for real time talk with others who have been there, just like you.
My life has been saved for real, and I had to do the work myself. But with the moral/medical/meetings/online and personal support just waiting to help, it is a shame that many never even look to see or go to try.
Keep posting. If you think you might want to start right away with meetings as well here is how to find them locally:
Alcoholics Anonymous : HOW TO FIND A.A. MEETINGS
Got other questions? Ask here. One of us will have been there, done that, no matter how bad you may think you are or have been, I am sorry to tell you that you are not unique. Or if you prefer, you ARE unique, just like everybody else here!
You came to the right place.
I used my Doc and when I was unable to do it alone I went to a VA hospital for detox in house for 7 days. Then I used counseling, AA, here at SR (a major part of my recovery) and now a year later plus I am feeling very different about life and myself and my place in the future of those around me.
You know that at an AA meeting you don't have to speak or tell your story or anything. Most of us are terrified and sit in the back, some with tears streaming until we are ready.
I needed to have friends who made it that I could talk to face to face, as well as the unbelievably supportive folks here on SR.
It sounds like you might benefit from that too.
As well read a lot here, try our chat room for real time talk with others who have been there, just like you.
My life has been saved for real, and I had to do the work myself. But with the moral/medical/meetings/online and personal support just waiting to help, it is a shame that many never even look to see or go to try.
Keep posting. If you think you might want to start right away with meetings as well here is how to find them locally:
Alcoholics Anonymous : HOW TO FIND A.A. MEETINGS
Got other questions? Ask here. One of us will have been there, done that, no matter how bad you may think you are or have been, I am sorry to tell you that you are not unique. Or if you prefer, you ARE unique, just like everybody else here!
You came to the right place.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
BTW Here are some pics of my two furkids Skylar and Maggie Mae (the smaller one.)
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...s-my-life.html
Won't you post some pics of Sophia for us?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...s-my-life.html
Won't you post some pics of Sophia for us?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
That's a beautiful touching story. All three of my dogs were rescues, tho only one of them came from a bad background. My old beagirl Riley came from our local shelter and was a loyal loving dog for 13 yrs.
You wouldn't be the first person to post here while still drinking. I did it more times than I can remember. Especially when I was trying to stave off withdrawals. Did you contact your doctor about getting medical help to smooth the w/d and keep you safe? That's your best bet given your amounts of drinking. Ask Dee, he had a bad w/d when he quit the last time and still suffers the consequences. Better safe than sorry. W/d can kill sometimes, best to be safe.
Give Sophie Marie a big hug (and a dog treat if you've got one) for me. I'm glad you and your dad rescued her and gave her a chance at a good life. I got sober for many reasons, but the biggest reason was to take better care of my dogs. My one dog, Nikko, is blind and diabetic and quite elderly and needs close attention. I couldn't give him the care he needed and deserved when I was drinking. My other two, Jack and SNoopy, have never known me drinking. They've never had late or missed meals cause I was too drunk or passed out to remember or be able to feed them.
Please get with your doctor as soon as you can so he/she can help you get safely thru w/d. It only lasts a few days, usually, and once you get past the danger zone then you've got to work on staying sober. Do it for yourself, your good health, and for Sophie. My dogs love me drunk or sober, but I love them so much better sober.
You wouldn't be the first person to post here while still drinking. I did it more times than I can remember. Especially when I was trying to stave off withdrawals. Did you contact your doctor about getting medical help to smooth the w/d and keep you safe? That's your best bet given your amounts of drinking. Ask Dee, he had a bad w/d when he quit the last time and still suffers the consequences. Better safe than sorry. W/d can kill sometimes, best to be safe.
Give Sophie Marie a big hug (and a dog treat if you've got one) for me. I'm glad you and your dad rescued her and gave her a chance at a good life.
I got sober for many reasons, but the biggest reason was to take better care of my dogs. My one dog, Nikko, is blind and diabetic and quite elderly and needs close attention. I couldn't give him the care he needed and deserved when I was drinking. My other two, Jack and SNoopy, have never known me drinking. They've never had late or missed meals cause I was too drunk or passed out to remember or be able to feed them.
Please get with your doctor as soon as you can so he/she can help you get safely thru w/d. It only lasts a few days, usually, and once you get past the danger zone then you've got to work on staying sober. Do it for yourself, your good health, and for Sophie.
My dogs love me drunk or sober, but I love them so much better sober. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 42
>>My other two, Jack and SNoopy, have never known me drinking.<<
For whatever reason, even though I "feel" soooo much better now that I've been drinking,... that right there just made me break down in tears,... again.
How amazing is it that we know how destructive we've made ourselves with alcohol but think that THAT is the lie after a few drinks. Right now I feel as though I may have made a mistake in admitting my behavior to ANYONE. Wow, what a lie it is I keep telling myself that alcohol will get me through the next crisis even though it caused that last one. I like quotes. Here's one I just thought of while taking Sophie for a walk.
"A drunk is someone holding a sober person hostage"
Right now I feel okay but I know it's a facade because of drink and will not last and will only make the realization of my actions that much more unbearable when I sober up.
For whatever reason, even though I "feel" soooo much better now that I've been drinking,... that right there just made me break down in tears,... again.
How amazing is it that we know how destructive we've made ourselves with alcohol but think that THAT is the lie after a few drinks. Right now I feel as though I may have made a mistake in admitting my behavior to ANYONE. Wow, what a lie it is I keep telling myself that alcohol will get me through the next crisis even though it caused that last one. I like quotes. Here's one I just thought of while taking Sophie for a walk.
"A drunk is someone holding a sober person hostage"
Right now I feel okay but I know it's a facade because of drink and will not last and will only make the realization of my actions that much more unbearable when I sober up.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Feelings are not facts! Don't forget that. Also, feelings change and you can go from feeling crummy to feeling good, so don't let bad feelings dictate how you react to those feelings. (no more sweeper hoses, ok? I've been there and done that myself but glad I didn't succeed) It was hard to do but I finally learned to forgive myself. I'm not a monster or a loser, just a person with a bad addiction and twisted thinking. Those things can be overcome!
Get to the doctor and start drying out. The first few days can be rough but after a few days you'll start feeling better. Then with the alcohol out of the way of your progress you can start working on yourself. :ghug3
Get to the doctor and start drying out. The first few days can be rough but after a few days you'll start feeling better. Then with the alcohol out of the way of your progress you can start working on yourself. :ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 42
OMG, what a beautiful family you got there!
I'm so, so sorry about Riley. I've told my vet that if ever Sophie should have to be taken down he needs to have TWO syringes ready.
Yes, my boss to me is more than just a boss, he's my hero. We've been best friends for a very, very long time and have gone through much together. Now that after many long years of struggle for him to get to the top and he gives me more respect than anyone in my life ever has this is how I repay him? He deserves better than that and I feel so ashamed for putting him through this. If I make it through this he, along with all of you will be responsible for having saved a life and I mean that very literally.
I would love nothing more right now than to share pics of my little Sophie but I guess I can't share pics or even links until I have a total of 15 posts according to the site rules. I have a feeling it won't be long until I get there...
Once again,
THANK YOU ALL
Without you ALL I could NOT have made it through today!
I don't know how I'll make it through tomorrow but I made it through today. I don't see my doc until next Wed. so I guess I'll just have to figure out what to do till then.
I'm so, so sorry about Riley. I've told my vet that if ever Sophie should have to be taken down he needs to have TWO syringes ready.
Yes, my boss to me is more than just a boss, he's my hero. We've been best friends for a very, very long time and have gone through much together. Now that after many long years of struggle for him to get to the top and he gives me more respect than anyone in my life ever has this is how I repay him? He deserves better than that and I feel so ashamed for putting him through this. If I make it through this he, along with all of you will be responsible for having saved a life and I mean that very literally.
I would love nothing more right now than to share pics of my little Sophie but I guess I can't share pics or even links until I have a total of 15 posts according to the site rules. I have a feeling it won't be long until I get there...
Once again,
THANK YOU ALL
Without you ALL I could NOT have made it through today!
I don't know how I'll make it through tomorrow but I made it through today. I don't see my doc until next Wed. so I guess I'll just have to figure out what to do till then.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Lots of good advice here already so I'll just add my welcome
Good to have you with us Nikoneer - I came here 5 years or so ago a trembling sobbing mess...I nearly died with my drinking - but I had no idea how to live without it.
The people here saved my life.
There's a lot of support advice and encouragement here - welcome aboard
Do think about trying to see yr Dr sooner - it's quite important - detox can be a real problem for some of us...I speak from experience.
D
Good to have you with us Nikoneer - I came here 5 years or so ago a trembling sobbing mess...I nearly died with my drinking - but I had no idea how to live without it.
The people here saved my life.
There's a lot of support advice and encouragement here - welcome aboard
Do think about trying to see yr Dr sooner - it's quite important - detox can be a real problem for some of us...I speak from experience.
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Adding my welcome, too..... Hi Nikoneer!
I remember how long it took me to get up the nerve to post. It's scary to think about getting sober and everyone's support made me really emotional, too. It was a relief to get honest.
The trick is not to think/worry about the future or past, just take everything one day at a time, one step at a time. It gets better - it really does!
I remember how long it took me to get up the nerve to post. It's scary to think about getting sober and everyone's support made me really emotional, too. It was a relief to get honest.
The trick is not to think/worry about the future or past, just take everything one day at a time, one step at a time. It gets better - it really does!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Nikoneer,
Is it possible for you to go into rehab? One where you could have your dog with you, if there is such a place.
I honestly think with the amount that you have been consuming a lot of TLC is in order.
All the best, you can do this but I feel strongly you need a lot of support at this time.
This is so important, you are so important.
CaiHong
Is it possible for you to go into rehab? One where you could have your dog with you, if there is such a place.
I honestly think with the amount that you have been consuming a lot of TLC is in order.
All the best, you can do this but I feel strongly you need a lot of support at this time.
This is so important, you are so important.
CaiHong
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,556
It's all been said, Nikoneer - but I want to welcome you too. As a lifelong drinker, I completely understand how you feel right now. When I found SR I had been on a binge for weeks, drinking round the clock. I was numb and sick and hopeless. When I came crawling in here I never thought I'd find so many people just like me, who truly got what I was going through.
Through the encouragement and love I received here, I gained the strength to give up my lifelong habit and reach out for a better life, one not lived in a fog. I was scared, but excited at the possibilities. I know you can kick that junk out of your life and begin to heal. We're going to be with you on your journey to a sober life. You can do this!
Through the encouragement and love I received here, I gained the strength to give up my lifelong habit and reach out for a better life, one not lived in a fog. I was scared, but excited at the possibilities. I know you can kick that junk out of your life and begin to heal. We're going to be with you on your journey to a sober life. You can do this!
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