Notices

i dont know where to begin....

Old 11-09-2011, 07:04 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: okinawa, japan
Posts: 4
Unhappy i dont know where to begin....

i am a military wife stationed overseas and feeding my pain pill addiction i would have pills mailed to me. i got cought. the last 3 weeks have been hell dealing with wd, legal issues, deppresion, and just simply overwhelmed with dealing with life without the pills. this was a very well kept secret from my husband and friends, needless to say the shame and guilt has set in. learning to cope with life is a moment by moment struggle. i seem to be battleing the issue of getting on antidepressants. i just want to feel 'normal' again. i used to be happy, motivated, outgoing...on the pills. part of me is mad because i feel like i was functioning fine with them. but now im a mess.

any advice would be nice. i really dont have anyone to talk to about this.
atthewell is offline  
Old 11-09-2011, 07:28 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NS, Canada
Posts: 160
Maybe a talk (or another talk) with your doctor would be a good place to start. Don't feel ashamed.

I remember an episode of The Golden Girls .. Rose was hooked on pain pills and had been for years, and was "found out" .. tried to get off them, struggled, and eventually went to rehab.

I know it's just a sitcom, but I think they did that episode to let people know that anyone can face addiction, even good sweet gentle Rose. Sometimes stuff like that "happens" .. and one time leads to the next, and boom .. we're addicted. Alcohol, pills, whatever.

I'm certainly not minimumizing it by comparing it to a sitcom, so please don't get me wrong .. I've lived it and it is scary and frustrating - and embarrassing. But it's OK. Overall, we do what we do simply to find ways to "be happy" .. and that's not a bad thing. We don't do it to hurt amyone (though that happens anyway, but it was never our initial intent).

You are a good person who took a wrong turn and got tangled up. Keep on being you and being real, and accept any help that feels right. If the doc thinks antidepressants might be in order, it might be worth a try. You can always taper down and get off of them if it turns out otherwise.

Good luck .. it will be OK.
switchboard is offline  
Old 11-09-2011, 07:41 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,333
I think that talking to your dr would be a good place to start.

And, be patient with yourself. You feel like a mess now because you are trying to adjust to living life with the numbing of the pills and it will take awhile for you to get used to this.
Anna is online now  
Old 11-10-2011, 08:34 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: okinawa, japan
Posts: 4
Thanks so much. I must have missed that episode of the golden girls...funny cuz i always watched it. This sober living thing is just so weird at times. i feel like an emotional wreck. i cry now...like all the freakin time. bad days are like the world is ending. learning about addiction is sometimes overwhelming cuz my addiction brain is always trying to rationalize it and make me think "it wasnt that bad, you had it all together". BUT i know you both are right and everyone else...including the sober part of me knows i was headed to disaster.
I go back to the Dr. next week to discuss my options in antidepressants. I want something that helps with the lack of motivation and energy i have now in addition to the sadness. for me, the pain pills just kept me going.
I really do appreciate the feedback.
atthewell is offline  
Old 11-10-2011, 08:44 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
InParticular's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
Just hang in there, atw. Is it possible to get in to the doctor's sooner? This is really important to your health and safety. And don't feel ashamed, feel proud that you are going to get yourself better.
InParticular is offline  
Old 11-10-2011, 09:10 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: okinawa, japan
Posts: 4
Military is do different...i have been off pills for 3 weeks now....and have been going to 'therapy' sessions. at first when they asked if i wanted an SSRI, i said no, i want somthing for this anxiety and aggitation...mind you this was the first few days off pills. they gave my klonopins...they kinda helped in the beginning...they are too much of a downer for me.
Im really trying to be proactive with the recovery stuff...before (on pillls) i always worked out, always got stuff done, stayed on top of things. now i dont want to do sh*t. This last week (week 3) was a little better; i worked out like 4 times, i cleaned more and didnt flip out as much on my family.
I realize that i must need some type of med. the pain pills just medicated me. so all this crap is coming out now. i also tried a NA meeting...that was different. i probably should go back. honesty i feel like if i was in the states i would still be using cuz it would be so readily available. im stuck on this island for another 3 years and now that customs is on my back...i have no choice but to work this recovery.
Thanks again for the feedback.
atthewell is offline  
Old 11-10-2011, 05:07 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
SR Fan
 
artsoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome atthewell -

Glad you're here! Getting support/help is so vital. Things really will get better - we don't realize when we're drinking or using how much we're messing up our brain chemistry. It takes time to "reset," so try to be patient with yourself. Also, check out our section for substance abuse :Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Keep going forward - you're not alone!
artsoul is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:05 AM.