Today is Day One...again and for the last time!
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2
Today is Day One...again and for the last time!
I am new to this website, I have been reading it for about a month now, you all seem so wonderful and supportive of each other so I thought I would give it a try.
A little bit about me, I have been drinking for about 12 years now, the longest I quit was 8 months. My husband kept asking me during that 8 months did I feel better and the answer was always not really, not sure why I didn't cause from reading on this website it seems most people feel a lot better. I have been drinking pretty much every day for a year straight now and it needs to stop. It is ruining who I am, who I want to be and where I am trying to go in my future. My husband knows I have a problem and in the past he would address it and I would always lie, the last time he caught me he said next time he catches me we will be getting a divorce as he didn't want to live a life like this which I can totally understand....that was over a year ago, now he has to know I am drinking as I can come home a totally different person when I left the house 30 minutes earlier and all my errands take a lot longer than they should but for some reason he isn't addressing it. I don't want to bring it up either as I keep thinking I will stop tomorrow so why bring it up and possible lose my marriage.
So today is my day one...again, and for the last time! I made it sober through Saturday, it was such a struggle but man waking up in the morning on Sunday I was so proud of myself and felt really good. But then come Sunday afternoon something happened and off to the store I went.
Today I am so short tempered and very irritable, it is just the knowing that today I am going to try to conquer this once and for all. But I have noticed whenever I do quit I do get very irritable...question for you all is how long does the irritability last?
I am planning on doing this all on my own, as I have said I can't talk to my husband about this and I can't go to meetings so I am hoping this website will help give me the support I need to get through this!
I really want my life back, it is amazing how much time you dedicate to alcohol when you are an alcoholic, it is pretty much the number one thing you think of 24/7.
Anyway, here's to day one!
A little bit about me, I have been drinking for about 12 years now, the longest I quit was 8 months. My husband kept asking me during that 8 months did I feel better and the answer was always not really, not sure why I didn't cause from reading on this website it seems most people feel a lot better. I have been drinking pretty much every day for a year straight now and it needs to stop. It is ruining who I am, who I want to be and where I am trying to go in my future. My husband knows I have a problem and in the past he would address it and I would always lie, the last time he caught me he said next time he catches me we will be getting a divorce as he didn't want to live a life like this which I can totally understand....that was over a year ago, now he has to know I am drinking as I can come home a totally different person when I left the house 30 minutes earlier and all my errands take a lot longer than they should but for some reason he isn't addressing it. I don't want to bring it up either as I keep thinking I will stop tomorrow so why bring it up and possible lose my marriage.
So today is my day one...again, and for the last time! I made it sober through Saturday, it was such a struggle but man waking up in the morning on Sunday I was so proud of myself and felt really good. But then come Sunday afternoon something happened and off to the store I went.
Today I am so short tempered and very irritable, it is just the knowing that today I am going to try to conquer this once and for all. But I have noticed whenever I do quit I do get very irritable...question for you all is how long does the irritability last?
I am planning on doing this all on my own, as I have said I can't talk to my husband about this and I can't go to meetings so I am hoping this website will help give me the support I need to get through this!
I really want my life back, it is amazing how much time you dedicate to alcohol when you are an alcoholic, it is pretty much the number one thing you think of 24/7.
Anyway, here's to day one!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4
Hi, Sox...
Have you found that there is a certain point where you relapse (for me it was at about 30 days)? The suggestion that was given to me was this: just before you reach that "plateau", increase your recovery activities..... go to more meetings, read more literature, participate in more phone or online meetings, etc. This will help distract you away from the things that are "triggers". I hope this helps you out.... and CONGRATULATIONS on your sobriety!!!
Adam
Have you found that there is a certain point where you relapse (for me it was at about 30 days)? The suggestion that was given to me was this: just before you reach that "plateau", increase your recovery activities..... go to more meetings, read more literature, participate in more phone or online meetings, etc. This will help distract you away from the things that are "triggers". I hope this helps you out.... and CONGRATULATIONS on your sobriety!!!
Adam
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
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Welcome Sox!
The extreme irritability lasted for a few days until I got caught up on sleep and then beyond that it lasted as long as it too me to learn new coping skills. So for example I was extremely snappy around dinner time until I figured out that structuring my day to do dinner prep in the morning and set up a craft or TV show for the kids while I was cooking in the afternoons helps to keep things flowing better. Keeps the kids calm, keeps my anxiety under control.
Funny you should say how you didn't feel better in the 8 months. I didn't feel THAT much better during my pregnancies (dry periods) either. I enjoyed waking up without a hangover but beyond that I found life quite flat and boring.
I guess that's the difference between abstinence and recovery. One is subtracting alcohol... leaving a void. And the other is backfilling that void with things to live for.
Best of luck to you.
The extreme irritability lasted for a few days until I got caught up on sleep and then beyond that it lasted as long as it too me to learn new coping skills. So for example I was extremely snappy around dinner time until I figured out that structuring my day to do dinner prep in the morning and set up a craft or TV show for the kids while I was cooking in the afternoons helps to keep things flowing better. Keeps the kids calm, keeps my anxiety under control.
Funny you should say how you didn't feel better in the 8 months. I didn't feel THAT much better during my pregnancies (dry periods) either. I enjoyed waking up without a hangover but beyond that I found life quite flat and boring.
I guess that's the difference between abstinence and recovery. One is subtracting alcohol... leaving a void. And the other is backfilling that void with things to live for.
Best of luck to you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2
@a recovery - I have not really looked for what my triggers are, I just seem to get stupid and think I can drink just one day and then I will stop....that obviously is not the case.
@ssil75 - to me when I am sober I actually feel like I am mourning my past life and I think that is one of the reasons I don't feel better. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to drink but I struggle with how do I do things sober and that is hard for me.
@ssil75 - to me when I am sober I actually feel like I am mourning my past life and I think that is one of the reasons I don't feel better. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to drink but I struggle with how do I do things sober and that is hard for me.
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
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Originally Posted by SOX3723 
@ssil75 - to me when I am sober I actually feel like I am mourning my past life and I think that is one of the reasons I don't feel better. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to drink but I struggle with how do I do things sober and that is hard for me.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 13
Your husband knows you're drinking. My wife knew I was and man was I so clever to hide everything. I found out that EVERYONE knew I was drinking. I wasn't fooling anyone.
SOX, can I ask you something? Are you an alcoholic? Do you know if you are or not? No one can answer that for you except for you. What I'm afraid of for you is that if you've found you can't quit, you probably need some help. You almost certainly won't be able to do this alone and without help. I suggest go checking out AA. Surely there is a meeting in your area and even tonight. I believe you'll find it's something at least worth looking into.
SOX, can I ask you something? Are you an alcoholic? Do you know if you are or not? No one can answer that for you except for you. What I'm afraid of for you is that if you've found you can't quit, you probably need some help. You almost certainly won't be able to do this alone and without help. I suggest go checking out AA. Surely there is a meeting in your area and even tonight. I believe you'll find it's something at least worth looking into.
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
now he has to know I am drinking as I can come home a totally different person when I left the house 30 minutes earlier and all my errands take a lot longer than they should
So, I take it you are out driving?
If so, your alcohol abuse can become front page news in a heartbeat. And you don't even need to hit anything with your car, it can hit you. All it takes is Bambi suddenly bounding out of the woods in front of your car.
So, I take it you are out driving?
If so, your alcohol abuse can become front page news in a heartbeat. And you don't even need to hit anything with your car, it can hit you. All it takes is Bambi suddenly bounding out of the woods in front of your car.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome SOX3723 
I think support helps a lot - both with the initial irritability and with the relearning life skills sober.
It's not always an easy road, especially in the beginning, but I think it's easier than my old drinking life - and I've never regretted the decision to live sober
You won't either
D
I think support helps a lot - both with the initial irritability and with the relearning life skills sober.
It's not always an easy road, especially in the beginning, but I think it's easier than my old drinking life - and I've never regretted the decision to live sober
You won't either
D
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Present Moment
Posts: 646
Sox, in my situation I found that I had to completely honest with those that loved me, because this "thing" was way bigger than me and I needed all the support I could get to beat it...just a thought.
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