Day 1 (again)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2
Day 1 (again)
Hi everyone,
New to this site but not new to trying to remain sober. I'm 49, happily married to my husband of 27 years, and have 2 great kids who are both of on their own now. Been secretly drinking for probably 10 years. Every day - not to the point of being found out but definitely more than I should be. Probably averaging 4-5 glasses of wine each night.
I've tried to quit several times before - the longest I've ever gone is 30 days and then gave myself "permission" to start again since I was doing so well.
Anyone out there in kind of the same situation? I think I drink from boredom as I don't have any real issues from my past which would make me drink. I'm tired of waking up with that feeling of dread every morning - feel like I should be able to just quit because I know it's wrong and I know I'm not doing my health any favors.
Thanks for listening.
New to this site but not new to trying to remain sober. I'm 49, happily married to my husband of 27 years, and have 2 great kids who are both of on their own now. Been secretly drinking for probably 10 years. Every day - not to the point of being found out but definitely more than I should be. Probably averaging 4-5 glasses of wine each night.
I've tried to quit several times before - the longest I've ever gone is 30 days and then gave myself "permission" to start again since I was doing so well.
Anyone out there in kind of the same situation? I think I drink from boredom as I don't have any real issues from my past which would make me drink. I'm tired of waking up with that feeling of dread every morning - feel like I should be able to just quit because I know it's wrong and I know I'm not doing my health any favors.
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 14
Boredom and habit. If we do anything enough we will become good at it even if we hate it. I have gone in spurts were I hid my drinking. Getting the family in the car and saying I forgot something to run back in and sneak a drink.
I think admitting our problem is the first step. And you have taking a leap of faith. When I decided to quit the other day, I am very new to this, I told a few people who were a bit shocked. But I did it for accountability. I have some shame. Like you I want to beat this.
I wish you the best on this journey. This site has awsome. You can win this battle.
I think admitting our problem is the first step. And you have taking a leap of faith. When I decided to quit the other day, I am very new to this, I told a few people who were a bit shocked. But I did it for accountability. I have some shame. Like you I want to beat this.
I wish you the best on this journey. This site has awsome. You can win this battle.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
Welcome!
My drinking was similar to yours, secretly everyday for a number of years and nobody really knew. I was a couple of years younger than you when that suddenly didn't work anymore. The hangovers became worse and the only thing that seemed to ease them was a drink in the morning. It was then that I had to get some medical help with detox and as the expression goes, "the cat was out of the bag." Alcoholism is progressive, you can't keep this up forever.
My drinking was similar to yours, secretly everyday for a number of years and nobody really knew. I was a couple of years younger than you when that suddenly didn't work anymore. The hangovers became worse and the only thing that seemed to ease them was a drink in the morning. It was then that I had to get some medical help with detox and as the expression goes, "the cat was out of the bag." Alcoholism is progressive, you can't keep this up forever.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Emilynn!
I got pretty good at hiding my drinking, too. It takes a lot of work, doesn't it?! Towards the end, I was drinking about a bottle of wine most nights (this was usually after promising myself earlier in the day that I was going to cut down or stop).
You're definitely not alone. I know it's scary at first, but getting sober was the best thing I ever did. I dreaded giving it up, but at the same time I knew I couldn't continue living that way.
Take it one day at a time. If we can do it, you can too!:ghug3
I got pretty good at hiding my drinking, too. It takes a lot of work, doesn't it?! Towards the end, I was drinking about a bottle of wine most nights (this was usually after promising myself earlier in the day that I was going to cut down or stop).
You're definitely not alone. I know it's scary at first, but getting sober was the best thing I ever did. I dreaded giving it up, but at the same time I knew I couldn't continue living that way.
Take it one day at a time. If we can do it, you can too!:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2
Thank you all so much for your kind words and support.
Artsoul - it definitely was a lot of work hiding it - sometimes I feel like I'm almost daring my husband to find it so he would confront me and it would be all out in the open.
I need to be strong and remember how good it felt those mornings when I would wake up after being sober the night before. Guilt is gone and I feel so good about this small achievement!
Thanks guys - look forward to getting to know all of you!
Artsoul - it definitely was a lot of work hiding it - sometimes I feel like I'm almost daring my husband to find it so he would confront me and it would be all out in the open.
I need to be strong and remember how good it felt those mornings when I would wake up after being sober the night before. Guilt is gone and I feel so good about this small achievement!
Thanks guys - look forward to getting to know all of you!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Welcome to SR Emilynn
I think most of us know exactly what you mean
I think I kept returning again and again to drinking because all I ever did was not drink. In a life that centered around drinking, all that did was leave a hole...
I would do the same things I did when drinking - endlessly watch TV, hang around with drinking friends - and then wonder why I was so bored lol.
If you think boredom is the issue, or stress or relaxation or whatever - then maybe you can work on why you feel this way and find new ways to find fulfillment without reaching for the bottle?
D
I think most of us know exactly what you mean
I think I kept returning again and again to drinking because all I ever did was not drink. In a life that centered around drinking, all that did was leave a hole...
I would do the same things I did when drinking - endlessly watch TV, hang around with drinking friends - and then wonder why I was so bored lol.
If you think boredom is the issue, or stress or relaxation or whatever - then maybe you can work on why you feel this way and find new ways to find fulfillment without reaching for the bottle?
D
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