Hevyn

Sleep tight - what does that even mean?

cantakeit

Ahab. I posted here a few months back. I was 9 yrs. & 4 months sober. 100% sober. No nothing at all. I fell. My brother-- you need to have it in your HEAD to stop. Do you have a switch in your head? Goofy question I know, While I was In the hospital yrs. ago a nurse (enlightened me) about the power of the mind. NO ****. I'am a regular guy, I'am maint. at a HUGE corp. global. She taught me how to ... let things goooo. I do not do yoga or any of that stuff. It worked. My mind/brain whatever got out of line and I slipped. I've had some tonight and in 8-9 hrs. sat. morn. I need to go deal w/ home owners I'am building a deck for. Does that sound like fun? Nope. Get it in your head to stop.

Deserto

Why, funny you should ask, Hevyn. I just read the answer to your question the other day. It's one of two possibilities:

"Explanation #1. Before the days of mattresses, beds were square frames elevated from the ground, with ropes tied across in a sort of weave. It was similar to a hammock in concept. Anyway, in order to sleep well, the "mattress" couldn't sag, so the bed had to be "tight."

Explanation #2. That last one was a nice story, eh? Unfortunately, the Oxford English Dictionary, which knows a bit about such things, doesn't buy it. Here's what they say: "It seems that tight in this expression is the equivalent of the only surviving use of the adverb tightly meaning 'soundly, properly, well, effectively'."

"I think anybody reading that would have to concede: It's boring and unimaginative, and thus probably correct."

Source: The Straight Dope: What's the origin of the expression, "sleep tight"?

Welcome Ahab!

instant

Ahab. Welcome to the club. You are not in denial you are on your way to recovery. It is normal when in recovery to be ambivalent about alcohol. It's part of the deal- yes it is insane, and yes it will kill us. I and many others found the BIg Book very useful (free online- for me the personal stories especially). To understand the little voice I found AVRT very useful (free at the Rational recovery website).

Hang it there it does get better my friend.

least

Oh boy, don't I know it... It was normal behavior for me at the end to wake up wishing I were dead. That's no way to live. Nowadays I wake up feeling good and ready for the day.

Welcome to the family.:ghug3

SSIL75

Welcome Ahab! We're about the same age and I also have young children (younger than yours actually). Sober life is wonderful. I remember well the misconceptions/reservations I had about it though so do share yours if you feel like it would help (sober life will be boring. I'll never be able to celebrate anything again, other people will think I'm lame/know I'm an alcoholic etc).

I found Rational Recovery to be very helpful.

Do check in today and let us know how you're doing!

ADaisyifyoudo

Ahab,

Those first few days are a killer, so hang in there, do whatever it takes to try to get some good rest (I had a hell of a time getting to sleep for the first 10 days or so), some exercise, feed yourself well, and maybe throw in some fun with your girls. It's been over 5 months for me, and I have to say it gets progressively better.

Do whatever you need to get support. I went to a few AA meetings (not for me), saw a therapist (still go occasionally), told ALL my friends and family that I was quitting drinking (had hit my lifetime quota) and on many just, just gritted my teeth and sucked it up. It wasn't fun but BOY am I glad I am here. And although it seems hard to believe, you'll get to a point where you won't even THINK about having a drink for days at a time.

Have a great day.

Ahab

Thanks again everyone for the kind words. It's day 4, and I'm still sober. Feeling better today..... physically.

Unfortunately its been a bad day emotionally. I'm the last one to go over my personal issues in an open forum, but they would normally be my trigger for going on an endless bender.

My wife has had a history of being, oh unfaithful to say the least. I've tried to hold my family together as it's the only thing I have. So I always take her back. In return she's always put up with my drinking. She unfortunately drinks too much, but no where even near my level. Maybe this is why I've put up with it though.

Today I found out she's been in contact with someone she's had an affair with in the past. So lets just say, this is a hard day to stay sober. And the next issue is if I stay sober then what reason do I have to continuously accept this behavior? I think I've felt like Nick Cage in Leaving Las Vegas in the past. I was the hopeless alcoholic destroying himself, and she was the, well not prostitute, but you get the idea. Together we made t'wo broken people that made it work some how. Of course I have my two kids in the picture to make it even more complicated.

It's a dark day for me, and I can't cover it up with a drunken black out. I haven't really honed any other coping skills. Yes I know the alcohol will make it worse. I'm not going to drink today. This is just a really difficult one.

Thanks again to everyone who has reached out. I've read every message sent to me very closely.

Spiderkitty

Welcome Ahab. I have got to tell you, no matter what your wife is doing, you are the deal for your girls and maybe their only or certainly, best hope. Further, huge compliments on being what i'd call a real man. I admire what you are about, as a wife, mother, grandmother myself. Keep it going for yourself too, because it gets so much better. For me & my husband, we are aa folks, try it out, you may find some really fine friends &support. We have!

soberlicious

I couldn't agree more.

Further, your wife's behavior wil be what it is...whether you are drunk or sober. It may seem easier to deal with when drunk...but that's one of many lies alcohol will tell you. It's just not true. The truth is, what you are going through is painful any way you slice it. But, you can get through this. I've gone through some of the worst times sober....and I'm glad for it.

Ahab

Thanks to both of you. I pouring alcohol on a problem has never helped. I just have this irrational nagging idea in my head, that if I become clean and sober, this mess of a marriage just won't make any sense anymore. My daughters are very sensitive and very attached to me. We've had a break up in the past, and it was very hard on them. I don't think I could do that to them again no matter what I have to put up with. As far as sobriety goes, its going to be a really difficult drinking trigger to deal with.

soberlicious

The reality is that it probably won't make sense anymore. The behavior you're describing shouldn't make sense. But, clean and sober, there will be a better chance to address it/change it/fix it, rather than accept it by turning a drunken eye to it.

Ahab

Well said. I am just going to focus on staying sober and getting my mind clear, and then take a more clear look at these problems.

instant

Ahab
alcoholism is progressive. I think what is best for your girls in he future would be better if alcohol were not in the picture and you re able to really be there for them?

SSIL75

There is a lot of power and clarity that comes with sobriety (IME). So, focus on that and your martial issues will fall where they will.

Ahab

No arguments here. I've always known that. I've just had tremendous difficulty acting on it.

Ahab

That's all I can count on right now.

Ahab

Well I woke up this Monday morning 6 days sober now. That was one hell of a difficult weekend to get through, but I'm glad I never picked up a drink. This feels like its going to take a life time of vigillance. The road ahead looks a little daunting right now for me. It really is going to take one day at a time. A cliche statement, but cliches are often true in my opinion.

SSIL75

I am conscious of/grateful for my sobriety every day. But vigilance is not a word I would use. That implies a fear or sense of 'attack'. Not so. I don't drink. I'm not tempted to drink. I'll never drink again.

You should check out Rational Recovery if you haven't already. Just google 'AVRT'.

Ahab

I like your thinking. I'll look that up. As the saying goes, "What you resist persists".