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Old 11-04-2011, 04:30 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Success without AA?


Reading through all these excellent posts, there seems to be a common thread of attending AA to get sober.

I am wondering can being sober work without AA? I am a private person and having to face people looking at me and entering a room of strangers, I'm not sure how helpful it will be for me.
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Old 11-04-2011, 04:43 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome Lizzard,

Keep in mind that everyone is different & what works for one may not work for you. That being said, I'm coming up on six months sober with nothing but the support I receive here on SR.
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Old 11-04-2011, 04:55 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I did go to AA meetings in the beginning as I needed human face to face contact but I didn't work the programme or do the steps. After a year I stopped the meetings & used on line support (LifeRing) & also armed myself with a massive array of books on how to keep my sobriety.

I had a 1 night relapse 2 weekends ago after 28 mnths sober, I have found this site & have found it very useful in helping me stay on track. I'm also back to using other online support groups, sites & mailing lists as well as reading my 'Sober Library'. If you are 100% committed to being sober you can do it with all the resources mentioned, posting here & on other recovery sites has been in the past & is now so very important to me as the support you receive is priceless

Good luck to you.
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Old 11-04-2011, 04:59 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizard99 View Post
Reading through all these excellent posts, there seems to be a common thread of attending AA to get sober.

I am wondering can being sober work without AA? I am a private person and having to face people looking at me and entering a room of strangers, I'm not sure how helpful it will be for me.
i think it depends on the individual Lizard.. some people depending on "where they are" in their Alcoholism are able to STOP drinking without A.A. (i have seen it) whatever works. wishing you the best!
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Old 11-04-2011, 05:17 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Thankyou for the comments. I am not ruling AA out yet, I was afraid that I was foolish to think I can do it without it.
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Old 11-04-2011, 05:32 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Thankyou for the comments. I am not ruling AA out yet, I was afraid that I was foolish to think I can do it without it.
that is wise Lizard.. just keep an open mind.
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Old 11-04-2011, 05:46 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Hi Lizard

There's actually a wide array of approaches here at SR. I'm not an AAer myself.

I think it all boils down to looking at a variety of approaches and deciding which makes sense to you - if the first way doesn't pan out, try another

D
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Old 11-04-2011, 05:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Perhaps by overcoming this aversion, or fear, of people... and becoming part of something bigger, getting strength from others, not being lonely... all that... would be helpful to you.

You can get sober without AA. But if you are truly alcoholic, you can't get sober without getting outside your comfort zone, and you have to change nearly everything (for the better)... why do it alone, if you don't have to?

Welcome to SR!!
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Old 11-04-2011, 06:07 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I've known quite a few people who have stayed sober without AA. Some start with it in the beginning and then taper off and go when they need it. I've seen others stop in their own but go to therapy once a week. Guess it depends on the person but it is possible.
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Old 11-04-2011, 06:24 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I'm not an AA person either, and I have been sober for 11 years.

What I know is, it depends more on your motivation to recover, than what program you choose. You need to really want to live a sober life.
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Old 11-04-2011, 06:37 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I know for me I couldn't stay sober without the help of AA. I tried several other approaches to staying sober with no success. Every time I always seemed to pick up after a month or two. It wasn't until I was ready to go to any length necessary that I was able to have any real time in sobriety. I am coming up on 16 months now. That's the most time I ever had. For me, I just notice something in the rooms of AA that people have. I wanted what they had and work every day to try and get it. All I can say, are things I have heard. One of those things is if you have found an easier, softer way to get sober, go for it. It wasn't until I completely gave myself to AA and turned my will and life over to the care of God as I understand him, that I was able to have the kind of life I have now. Today, I feel great. I look better, have more money in my pocket, haven't hurt anyone, and haven't had the urge to pick up a drink. My will to not drink is stronger than my will to drink. I only maintain this will by going to the meetings so I can remember where I was. In the past, I would stop the meetings, and feeling better, I would justify that I could drink normally again. Usually it would be years before I could make it back. I know today that I have another drunk in me...just not sure if I got another sober!
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Old 11-04-2011, 06:47 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
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I'm not an AA person either, and I have been sober for 11 years.

What I know is, it depends more on your motivation to recover, than what program you choose. You need to really want to live a sober life.
Agree. For a long time I didn't want to live a drunk life but I REALLY didn't want to live alcohol free forever either.

I used Rational Recovery a little and SR a lot. AA is not for me.
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Old 11-04-2011, 07:33 AM   #13 (permalink)
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This thread was really helpful to me because I was just thinking about that this morning. I really disagree with the higher power thing and the sort of cultishness(for lack of a better word) around AA freaks me out a little. I really want to do this on my own with the support of my loved ones more than anything. It's good to know that it is possible to stay sober without AA.
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Old 11-04-2011, 07:47 AM   #14 (permalink)
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AA is such a powerful program, and the people in it are so passionate, because they have surrendered to the program and received amazing results - particularly in their internal, spirtual development. The program is more than just the meetings. Three parts -fellowship (meetings), recovery (the book and the steps with a sponsor) and unity (service, helping others). Without the steps many people don't find AA very helpful. But anyone i've met who has really worked the steps has been transformed. However, early on it is best to keep an open ind about what you personally need. Major change though, out of your comfort zone like Mark said, seems to be essential and rewarding!
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Old 11-04-2011, 08:28 AM   #15 (permalink)
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While AA is a very useful program for many, it's not for everyone. I'm coming up on two years sober with the help of SR and my addiction counselor.
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Old 11-04-2011, 10:05 AM   #16 (permalink)
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everyone is different, but i am 2 days shy of 4 months with the help of sr & my family
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Old 11-04-2011, 10:06 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Why not try out church, or medications from your Doctor? There are herbal remedies and therapists and mental health professionals to check out. Get some self-help books and try out their suggestions. There are hypnotists to go to and sobriety coaches.

There are so many alternative routes to take, you may never even get around to doing all the AA stuff, so I wouldn't worry about that at all. If you have to eventually do that later on AA will still be there.

Don't force yourself to do what you don't care to do just because others find that it solves their problem. You need to chart your own course and gain possibly useful experience along the way.
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Old 11-04-2011, 10:51 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Hey Lizard

I think that when one reaches the point that they want sobriety more than anything else in life recovery will happen no matter the avenue in which recovery is sought out.

Sadly some people never reach this point but the ones who do, recover in many different ways. I could be AA, Rational Recovery, forums like this and also Solo.

I have not been to AA so far in my own recovery but if I thought I needed this I would not hesitate for a second to get myself to a meeting.

There is a huge difference in knowing the path and walking along it.
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Old 11-04-2011, 10:53 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Yes, you can get sober without AA. I once quit for over 5 years on my own.

However, other than quitting I didn't change much about "me" and I eventually relapsed. Once I relapsed, I discovered that I couldn't quit by myself anymore. I would go 3 or 4 weeks, then drink. Eventually I gave up and decided to try AA, I've learned a lot from the program.
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Old 11-04-2011, 04:08 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
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You can get sober without AA. But if you are truly alcoholic, you can't get sober without getting outside your comfort zone, and you have to change nearly everything (for the better)... why do it alone, if you don't have to?
It's important to note that recovering without AA does not mean recovering alone! I belong to the SMART Recovery community, which I have found vibrant and very welcoming--much like SR.
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