My wife knows for sure, I mean she is the one who's seen me every night. The fact that I'm not already drunk when she gets home must be pretty obvious to her, not to mention that she doesn't have to wake me up to go to bed! We've been together for almost twenty years and I feel she knows me well enough to know that I need to do some things on my own. When I involve someone else, it feels like it's me against them. Not sure if that is a "man" thing, or just a Me thing. She is helping by not drinking every night herself, which while she was always able to stop after one or two is still a big cut back. She still wants to enjoy some wine with a romantic dinner every now and then, and for now I'll have to deal with those tests as they come. She knows what is going on, and after so many years together, we are able to communicate some things very clearly without the use of words.

no problem Jim, just thought you were keeping it to yourself. Anyhow, I wish you the best x

I also love wine! But it's ruining my life, I end up drinking a whole bottle, and then sleep the next day, all day. The moderation thing doesn't work for me, I am an all or none type of person.

Yeah, I was silly to think she wouldn't notice. Heck, I'm sure she'd notice if I went a single night without getting drunk! She had once talked to me about my drinking and it became a problem immediately. I felt she was trying to change me rather than me wanting to change myself I do now. I'm sure she remembers that and is trying to allow me to handle it on my own this time. I can tell she's proud of me and much happier when she gets home. Maybe now she has something to look forward to when she walks in the door instead of my drunkenness.

I understand what you mean about 'When I involve someone else, it feels like it's me against them'. Im very similar. Its the rebel inside me! If I feel pressured into doing something I react badly.

Heading into the weekend, no drinks since the wine last Saturday. My sister is coming over tonight and that is usually a big drink night. Seems like just about every occasion was a big drink night before .. pretty sad. We'll see how it goes, I'm feeling good but this will be certainly be a test as I can't remember (I wonder why ;) ) the last time my sister was over and we didn't drink. Add to it being a Friday heading into a holiday vacation week, this is going to be a tough one. Wish me luck!

My family are all big drinkers, my social group when I quit were all hard drinkers too...every time I tried to quit someone would be around with a beer etc.

There's always going to be tests Jim.

I dunno about you, but I had to decide what was more important in my life - my recovery or my reputation.

It came down to whether I wanted to save my face or my butt...personally, I couldn't do both.

Why not decide now to make this weekend alcohol free, no matter what?

D

Good luck.

Alcohol was my solution, until it stopped working. I found out I was the problem.

I found a new solution working aa's 12 steps.

I wish you well on staying stopped!