4me1

I joined yesterday. I am on day 4. Prior to this a few months ago I pushed my dad out of my life for being a loser drunk. He has drank heavily since my first memories of him as a kid. I swore to never drink. And when I did of course he became my best drinking buddy. When I cut him out and told my wife how disgusted I was with him. She pointed out that I was a hypocrite for being just like him. It weighs heavily on my mind.
This morning I got up to run at 4 am after a night of tossing and turning. I dry heaved much of the run not from exhaustion but from anxiety I kept wanting to cry. I had hoped the run would help my withdraw. I got home and paced the kitchen. Made the coffee extra strong. Being able to to look at this site helps so much.

Dominica2

The anxiety should subside as the days go by. Vitamin B-6 really helps with that. Withdrawls are a btch, but after a week, it seems like its all in your mind. Just keep on staying strong and take care of your body! Vitamins and lots of water! Best wishes.

AWOL

4me1

Welcome here, you will find lots of support and good advice. The early days of sobriety can be rough and emotional. Give yourself some time, drink lots of water and take it easy on the caffeine, which can make you more anxious. Stay with it... it really does get better, and good luck!

tanja

Congratulations on Day 4. Many of us suffer from anxiety and guilt and shame. Try and focus on the positive. It takes courage to change. It takes courage to post and seek support. Be willing to put as much energy into your sobriety as you put into your drinking. The anxiety should dissipate with time. Try and let go of the guilt and shame. The past is gone. Today is a new beginning. Be proud of yourself for being strong and courageous

InParticular

Day 6 for me. Just try to relaaaaax. That's what I'll be doing.

lavida

Dont be so hard on yourself, be the change you want t c.
Good luck and welcome

newby1961

We are always our worst enemies so in early sobriety we really have to find a way to be kind to ourselves. It is single handed one of the hardest things I have ever done but so worth it.

I agree w/watching the coffee it will only add more to your anxiety.

My sponsor used to tell me to get off the cross someone else needed the wood
I would beat myself up constantly. The shame and guilt that I experienced was excruciating, but I had to get to a place where I believed that I had a disease, and I was sick person not a bad person.

Glad you found SR it has helped me in more ways than I can count.

1undone

I have pretty much tried to stay away from caffiene because it makes my anxiety 20xs worse. I've had serious ups and downs with my sobriety and I don't need that making me worse. This is an major physical and psychological journey we are all on. I'm feeling the weight of it myself.

I don't think calling your self a hypocrite is going to help. This does run in families and if that's what you've seen during your childhood then that's what you know. I think you've heard the saying that most people say about their parents - "I'll never be like you." All of the sudden we're seeing our parents staring right back at us in the mirror, or hearing them come out of our mouths, our attitudes, etc.

I've been known to be a jerk towards myself when I mess up so I'm working on that along with 50 other things. I get confused sometimes because I have so much to change. LOL

Dee74

hi 4me1

I think the best thing you can do right now is focus on you, and what you need to do today - stay sober.

The past isn't going anywhere - you can deal with all that, in a little while, when your own recovery is solid and you're more at peace and more capable of dealing with all those issues.

congrats on day 4

D

Anna

I agree with Dee.

It's really hard dealing with early recovery and it would be a good idea to focus your energy on yourself and what you need and want to accomplish each day.

Hevyn

4me1 - I agree with the others. Concentrate on your own recovery for now. You're still healing from all you went through. Stop expecting so much - it's early days yet for you. You'll go through many ups & downs - that's normal. Everything will settle down, and you'll be so glad you did this.

debsam

Stay with us 4me1 - keep checking in with us when you're feeling overwhelmed with the anxiety - we've all been there my friend...we get it.