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Old 11-03-2011, 05:08 AM   #1 (permalink)
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a little confused


so here it is i was out with my wife and one of her friends last friday well while we were out my wife friend made sexual advances to me I.E . grabbing my crotch and trying to kiss me. I declined simply because i hold my marriage very high and i find her rather repulsive. but heres my questions #1 since being sober this really bothers me and I find it as a disrespect to myself and also my wife moreso my wife before it would not have bothered me so much i would just brush her off and never think about it again but it has seriously offended me and i dont understand why. now #2 I find myself resenting my wife because i feel it is her friend and she should put her in check and i also feel that if it was someone besides one of her friends she would have ripped her head off and my wife is now mad at me beacuse i wont talk to or be around the girl and i dont trust her and have lost what little respect i have for her can someone explain if I am wrong for feeling this way and why

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Old 11-03-2011, 05:12 AM   #2 (permalink)
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So, your wife knows that her friend made sexual advances to you, and she's okay with that?

If so, you really have a problem.

If not, tell your wife exactly what happened and that you refuse to spend time with this 'friend' of hers.
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Old 11-03-2011, 05:15 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I think you need to have a serious discussion with your wife. Express your concerns. Good luck.
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Old 11-03-2011, 05:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
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yes my wife knows she says she doesnt know how to tell her tactfully and that i hurt the girls feelings enough when i said i find her repulsive and to get the f away from me. but she still talks to this girl and says that i am being overly sensitive and blowing things out of proportion and thatt her friend was drunk and didnt know what she was doing
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Old 11-03-2011, 05:22 AM   #5 (permalink)
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it was at a party her friend showed up to drunk i mean sloppy drunk i just dont understand am i wrong for feeling this way and not wanting my wife around her
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Old 11-03-2011, 05:41 AM   #6 (permalink)
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It is normal to have emotions toward this, especially if it offended you. It is your right to not be around this woman if she makes you uncomfortable. However, we cannot control the actions of others (you wife). She may begin to resent you and it may cause issues in your relationship if you continue to tell her not to be around this woman. This is only my opinion and others may differ. I think that you and your wife should have a discussion and try to resolve this before it causes a rif in your relationship.
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Old 11-03-2011, 05:42 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I think her freind is showing utter disrespect. I would definitely sit down with your wife and talk about this. Sounds like it is almost borderline harrassment. Best of luck.
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Old 11-03-2011, 05:43 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Aso, from my experience only, people who are drunk sometimes do things that they would NEVER do sober (been there, done that). That is not to excuse her behavior, but that has been my experience. Do you two have a relationship sober? Has this been an issue before?..just grasping at straws here
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Old 11-03-2011, 06:08 AM   #9 (permalink)
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my wife and I are working things out and yes we have a relationship sober as far as the friend not really i have only met her once before she is my wifes friend. My wife still drinks but not around me she has her girls nights out she is normal and can drink only a few and knows when to stop we dont really go out to bars unless it is a special occasion but even then it is usually a short stay until i get stronger in my sobriety but out of respect for me she rarely drinks in front of me. but her friend is a different story my wife invited her over for crabs which was the first time i met her and she showed up with a bottle of gin and a 6 pack not tha i care but i found that a little disrespectful especially cuz my wife had told her i was an alcoholic and she got lit too which really pissed me off so no we didnt start out on a good note and it got worse after previous episode but i cant pick my wifes friends that is why they are her friends not mine i just dont understand why i feel so strongly about this it is really eating at me i know i am very dedicated and so is my wife but for some reason i am having a lot of trouble getting over this
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Old 11-03-2011, 06:54 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I think the best solution would be to tell your wife how you feel- so everything is out on the table. I hope things work out for you.
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Old 11-03-2011, 08:05 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Sounds to me the friend might have a drinking problem herself. Obviously your wife cares about her friend's feelings. Maybe be a bit forgiving as I'm sure you too have made a fool of yourself while drunk? If you really dislike this woman that much just don't hang around her. Your wife can be friends with whom she wishes and you may be damaging your marriage over something that was just drunken stupidness on the friend's part.
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Old 11-03-2011, 08:25 AM   #12 (permalink)
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absolutly right I have made a fool out of myself many times and i dont hang around her after thinking about it and talking to my sponser and he called me an insecure mfer and i had to emphasize the fact i think my wife was disrespected he pretty much told me i am not her and i cant be disrespected for her i can feel disrespected for me only and basically get over it and not to let her rent space because i have so much more to worry about than someone who is drunk take it as a compliment that she thought i was attractive and move on she isnt worth my time or efforts and let her dig her own grave with her friendship with my wife
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