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howmanytimes 10-31-2011 10:50 AM

First day is halloween
 
I have been drinking daily for 10 years and I'm only 24. Well I blacked out again last night and sent inappropriate messages to colleagues and old girlfriends. I'm married.

I have finally decided to stop drinking and today is day one. I almost threw up in class today and I'm still hungover at almost 2pm. I am going surfing and playing dodgeball later until 10pm when I will be tired enough to fall asleep.

This website has provided me with lots of useful information in my past attempts to cut back or take a break. I have experienced withdrawal symptoms of sweating, nightmares, severe anxiety, depression and hunger in the past, but have not had more than 4 days break since freshman year of college when I wouldn't drink Monday through Thursday. The last extended break would have been junior year of highschool when I quit for baseball.

Ironically, I'm a psychotherapist and almost all of my clients are maintaining sobriety after problems with alcohol.

how many times?

TheTinMan 10-31-2011 10:56 AM

Welcome to SR!

There is a lot of support here and I hope you find the things you need to stay sober and start a healthy and happier life.

howmanytimes 10-31-2011 12:59 PM

Yeah thanks. Almost everytime I google something about drinking, this site has shown up and I am here any time I go a day or two and start to feel like ****.

Dee74 10-31-2011 01:09 PM

Welcome howmanytimes :)

Have you seen a Dr? that's a good first step, especially if you've been drinking heavily and regularly for a while.

D

howmanytimes 10-31-2011 01:11 PM

I have not. I am going to manage it on my own. As I said I'm a therapist and I am very aware of the dangers of detox and will monitor my situation as will my wife who is also in the field of psychology.

howmanytimes 10-31-2011 01:14 PM

I am also 5 days clean from smoking pot, which was a daily habit for about 8 years. I stopped smoking because I was forced to and I was not addicted. I had no problems giving it up.

Even though I enjoy smoking way more than I enjoy getting drunk, the alcohol is so much harder to stop using. The cravings are insane (not now but in general). I also find smoking MJ helps anytime I am feeling withdrawals, so this is going to be very hard. But I don't have any choice as I have screwed up so many times. How many times?

ACOAHappyNow 10-31-2011 01:19 PM

Welcome and congrats on your decision! Wishing you better and better days ahead, with each passing day :)

Lily 10-31-2011 01:22 PM

Welcome Howmanytimes!!

You know, one thing I have learned in recovery, it intelligence never got me sober. It was working on my sobriety one day at a time with accountability from other recovering alcoholic addicts. Someone who has walked that path and knows how to read through my manipulative sneaky ways. Recovery for me took rigorous honesty in all my affairs.

Look forward to seeing you around the boards!

Lily

howmanytimes 10-31-2011 04:21 PM

I lied...its been twelve days without smoking. Goes to show how that was NBD. Alcohol is a totally different animal, but days with waves and events like dodgeball make it a lot easier. Gonna be harder on Thursday night when the funny shows on NBC come on.

sugarbear1 10-31-2011 05:21 PM

AA's cofounder was a doctor. He was intelligent enough to see a doctor for help.

howmanytimes 10-31-2011 07:16 PM

I have been to a therapist, but its really weird going through CBT when I do CBT myself everyday. I know it sounds like a contradiction, but its not for me right now. I'd almost rather have a therapist that my supervisors would cringe over that just lets me talk in confidentiality.

I think anti-anxiety medication to help with withdrawals would help, but I know they can be highly reinforcing and lead to some of the same problems as other drugs.

sissy07 10-31-2011 07:20 PM

Howmanytimes,

Welcome to SR. I wish you the very best!

howmanytimes 11-01-2011 01:19 PM

Day two spent the whole day doing paperwork and drinking caffeine. About to go surfing, but after surf the urge to drink beers is strongest. The wife and I are both trying not to drink or smoke pot for now.

artsoul 11-01-2011 05:35 PM

Welcome, howmanytimes!

Congrats on your new beginning! Once you get through the next couple days, things will get better and better. Be patient with yourself (it takes a while to get used to the new "us"). Glad you're here!

Gerbosko 11-01-2011 05:43 PM

Welcome to SR.


I also find smoking MJ helps anytime I am feeling withdrawals
Why not try replacing "MJ" with water. Drinking water does help fight cravings and plus it's good for your body.

howmanytimes 11-01-2011 07:48 PM

I notice I drink insane amounts of water when I'm not drinking beer. It really helps. But like I said I have no trouble putting down the MJ and it has been 13 days since I smoked.

I had about 4 cups of coffee and an energy drink today though, which is way more than normal.

howmanytimes 11-01-2011 08:37 PM

Now I feel sick and beginning to sweat. Coffee or alcohol or does it matter? I don't think I'll puke, but hope I can lay down and fall asleep fast.

newby1961 11-01-2011 08:51 PM

:welcome HMT

Its great about your profession and at one time I worked w/teen runaways who lived on the streets and had many addictions, and I know 1st hand working w/someone and dealing w/my own addiction are two very separate deals.

I had a very hard time taking anyones suggestions because after all I knew what to do I did it w/clients everyday.

When it came to my disease I had to take off the counselor hat and become the client which was a hit & miss for several years.

I don't know if you have ever read the Big Book or know anything about Bills story but it seems right up your alley?

I try to remember we all have our own journey to take, just cause something works for one doesn't mean it may work for the next.

Peace and blessings to you & your wife

camedown 11-02-2011 12:02 AM

Welcome to SR and good luck!!!

Newbie said it best, you might have to step out of your role as a counselor for recovery purposes.

howmanytimes 11-02-2011 05:09 PM

Thanks a lot, it is pretty good advice. I saw a counselor who considers himself an alcoholic. He did a lot of self-disclosure, which I was encouraged not to do. He had good advice, but I was not ready then. Day 3 has gone pretty well. I felt hazy in the mind earlier and was sweating in class, but had plenty to do to keep me busy.

Now that I'm home and the day is over, I'm almost too exhausted to even think about drinking. Big dinner and some shows are in order before I go to sleep.


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