i drank
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Ryan - Maybe that was what you needed. Proof that it's no longer fun or relaxing, or an escape from boredom. Your memories of your happy drinking days are causing you to believe you can pick up again & somehow handle it this time. It isn't possible.
Please don't stop talking to us. Lean on the people here who have walked where you're walking. It's not over, Ryan - you can begin again and do this thing.
Please don't stop talking to us. Lean on the people here who have walked where you're walking. It's not over, Ryan - you can begin again and do this thing.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Evanston IL
Posts: 5
It's ok, get up and start again. That's all you can do, you can't change what you did so there's no point in stressing yourself over it. You made a mistake, take a deep breath and forgive yourself and move forward one minute at a time. You are stronger then you think, believe in yourself. Everything will be ok.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi Ryan,
Don't be silly, you are not hopeless. I find your honesty and willingness to share inspiring. Think of the relapse as instructive, read back over your posts, you had decided long ago to have a drink.
I used to listen to recoverybroadcast especially the broacasts on relapsing over and over again to get it into my thick head, the signs to watch for and actions I should put into place to prevent relapse.
I would sent you the link but I think my VPN won't allow it in this country.
What I find amazing is how many people care. I really care that you don't give up. Why? This is something I will ponder throughout the day.
CaiHong
Don't be silly, you are not hopeless. I find your honesty and willingness to share inspiring. Think of the relapse as instructive, read back over your posts, you had decided long ago to have a drink.
I used to listen to recoverybroadcast especially the broacasts on relapsing over and over again to get it into my thick head, the signs to watch for and actions I should put into place to prevent relapse.
I would sent you the link but I think my VPN won't allow it in this country.
What I find amazing is how many people care. I really care that you don't give up. Why? This is something I will ponder throughout the day.
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Evanston IL
Posts: 5
I did a very similar thing this Sunday morn. but I crashed into a parked car and thankfully was not injured. I am now most likely car-less, I will find out from my insurance company tomorrow. I have been biking all day to get things done. The fresh air and exercise has helped me come to terms with the situation. All I keep thinking is 1. thank God no one was injured and 2. I can't change what I've done but I can change what I will do. We are not hopeless we are human and as long as we strive to become better and learn from our mistakes we are making progress. Don't ever give up hope.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Hi Ryan,
Everyone who has posted have been so eloquent I don't have anything to add, except to say you are not hopeless....no one is, unless they give up trying. Just try to figure out what the tipping point was, then get back on the horse. I am sorry.
Everyone who has posted have been so eloquent I don't have anything to add, except to say you are not hopeless....no one is, unless they give up trying. Just try to figure out what the tipping point was, then get back on the horse. I am sorry.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: chesapeake city Md
Posts: 15
Ryan
I do not want to offend but here is my thought on the situation. The program is what you make it. Me personally I have adopted my own ways of doing things but it works for me I do follow the steps and have a sponsor but some of my idealisms vary from old school ideas. But here is a few things that always holds true. If you saw this coming did you talk to your sponsor? did you reach out to talk to someone who is stable in their sobriety. who maybe has gone through this and could give you advice to get through this? and did you go to a meeting as soon as the urge came on to drink ? I by no means am perect or stable in my sobriety right now i am still working the steps and still taking it day by day trying to figure out what the next right thing is. and I have my days where i feel the urge some stronger than others but it is still there. I just think about what i have lost and what I still have to lose and if it is worth it. I am by no means condemning you or berating and I myself have been in your shoes I think most of us here have but you are not hopeless. I did it and so did everyone else and every day i do what i am supposed to the stronger i get but that does not mean when i feel squirrely i can do it on my own because doing things on my own got me here in the first place. so with that being said congrats on realizing you have a problem now it is time to fix it if you are willing. and also i give you respect for coming back and admitting what you did that right there is a step in the right direction because if you can be true to other peo-ple you can be true to yourself and that is the first step in acceptance.. sorry for being long and a little blunt but sugar coating and diplomacy is not a strong point . Best of luck in your journey.
I do not want to offend but here is my thought on the situation. The program is what you make it. Me personally I have adopted my own ways of doing things but it works for me I do follow the steps and have a sponsor but some of my idealisms vary from old school ideas. But here is a few things that always holds true. If you saw this coming did you talk to your sponsor? did you reach out to talk to someone who is stable in their sobriety. who maybe has gone through this and could give you advice to get through this? and did you go to a meeting as soon as the urge came on to drink ? I by no means am perect or stable in my sobriety right now i am still working the steps and still taking it day by day trying to figure out what the next right thing is. and I have my days where i feel the urge some stronger than others but it is still there. I just think about what i have lost and what I still have to lose and if it is worth it. I am by no means condemning you or berating and I myself have been in your shoes I think most of us here have but you are not hopeless. I did it and so did everyone else and every day i do what i am supposed to the stronger i get but that does not mean when i feel squirrely i can do it on my own because doing things on my own got me here in the first place. so with that being said congrats on realizing you have a problem now it is time to fix it if you are willing. and also i give you respect for coming back and admitting what you did that right there is a step in the right direction because if you can be true to other peo-ple you can be true to yourself and that is the first step in acceptance.. sorry for being long and a little blunt but sugar coating and diplomacy is not a strong point . Best of luck in your journey.
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