Fear
 

If I stay here, I will be miserable and he might finally snap. If I leave, I chance picking up a drink from shear loneliness and despair. I know full well that I will never trust again. Too afraid to get hurt again. It was so much easier picking up a bottle and drowning my fears.

If you pick up a bottle the problems will still be there when the bottle is gone. I have found I'm best to face the problems sober and clear headed rather than put them off.

Soberred,

Would you give some more background as to your situation? I want to answer, but I looked through your previous posts and couldn't find any previous posts about this. I have been through the same situation in an abusive marriage, so maybe I could help. I am sorry you are going through this.

get to a meeting.
help a newcomer.
pray.

hugs,

Soberred, if you are in danger, please get somewhere safe. Do you have any relatives or friends around where you could go? The most important thing is your safety.

I hope you get through your situation safely, without picking up the bottle, because after all, it is the reason we are here. Our ability to let the drink overcome our being. You are in my thoughts. Stay safe.

I'm not in physical danger at this time. No worries

At this time, or at all? Your first post is a bit suggestive of what may be happening in your life, and if what I think is going on, is in fact going on, you need to get out. Now.
The lonliness will fade with time. Please send me a private message if you feel the need to talk.

Hi sobered -

My first reaction was pretty much like the others..... When you say "he might snap," it doesn't sound good. How long have you been sober? Drinking enabled me to tolerate things I normally wouldn't. Could it be that you're realizing this isn't really a healthy relationship?

You can get counseling to help you deal with the loneliness if you decide to move past this relationship. A drink will only add to your depression/anxiety. If you can't face a change in the immediate future, you can still take baby steps in that direction.

There really are options, sobered. You deserve to be happy.:ghug3

Your choice of words has me worried too soberred. There's a lot of info in our FFA forum on abuse, if that's applicable - it doesn't have to be physical.

I know of many people here who've taken the step of getting out of bad situations and have found new lives and happiness, not despair and loneliness :)

you're not alone here :)

D

Yea. Kind of thought things would change when I quit. It did for awhile. Its always something. I let it go on before due to guilt of my drinking. Always apologizing for everything. Now I am my old quiet, easy going old self again. Still not good enough. I am not tolerating it so easy now.

Thanks Dee. Where is that link?