Mediocre

I have lurked around the forum a few times and i decided to join and introduce myself. I havent actually became sober yet, though i think its something i need to do, and thought this might be the first step. The AA thing will not work for me and its not something i am interested in at all. I never was a big drinker when i was younger, occasionally i got drunk with friends. When i was 21 i went through a really tough break up with a long term girlfriend and started to go out to bars to distract myself from what i was feeling cus it was unhealthy. I have struggled with depression most of my life so i was in a real dark place. Ever since then (im now 26) has been almost daily heavy drinking. I do skip some days from time to time, and i dont really drink liquor anymore its mostly all beer. I still drink anywhere from 8-15 beers a night, i have insomnia too and this is the only way i usually can get to sleep. Alcohol isnt causing big problems in my life but i am tired of the horrible hangovers that get so bad that i end up vomiting for whole days some times. Just tired of feeling like this, but i have little faith in myself to be able to do this. Anyways thought i would give this a try.

Bikeguy

Welcome to Sober Recovery, you pretty much described the start of my drinking career in your post....that was 20 years ago. Do yourself a favor and quit now, don't waste 20 years being drunk, I promise you, you won't regret quitting.

instant

welcome Mediocre. Even if you are not into AA I do recommend you read the Big Book free online and see if any of the stories resonate with you.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

There are many routes to recovery and there are lots of us here who do not use AA.

I'm glad that you want to stop drinking and I know we can offer support. By the way, alcohol will worsen your insomnia. I started drinking at bedtime to sleep and it quickly hooked me and made me sleep patterns worse.

I also had depression all my life and I had to get that diagnosed and treated properly before I could stop drinking. Have you talked to your dr about your depression?

least

Welcome to the family. I too have severe depression but now that I'm sober it's more manageable and my meds are working as they should to keep the depression bearable.

I'd see your doctor about your depression. I do know that drinking makes depression much worse.

Mediocre

Thanks for the replies. When i was younger i went to some drs and psychiatrists and i was put on a few different drugs. I tried prozac and lexapro and quit using both of them because i didnt like the side effects they caused me. i thought about going back and trying it again, but it makes me really nervous because ive had trouble this year with medications causing me to have bad anxiety attacks, and now im worried about that all the time even though im no longer on the medication.

Dee74

Hi mediocre

I'm not a Dr, but you might want to consider the possibility that your anxiety attacks are alcohol related, or at least that your alcohol intake affected whatever medications you were on.

Depression and insomnia are both bad things to suffer from but in my experience my drinking/self medication ultimately made them worse.

I recommend you get some professional medical advice

I was a daily drinker too - I had little faith in myself as well - but the community here at SR helped me - there really is strength in numbers

Good to have you with us

D

Mediocre

thank you for the advice, i am starting a new job this week so i will probably have trouble squeezing in a dr appointment this week but ill try to make some time. I feel absolutely horrible today and i dont think i will have any trouble not drinking today because im still throwing up, but its the days after this that will get much harder.

Hevyn

Welcome, Mediocre. It's great to have you here with us. I'm glad you're going to see your doctor.

Like Bikeguy, my drinking troubles started out alot like yours. In the end, I relied on it to see me through everything. I hope you will get some good advice and begin to feel healthy and hopeful again.

artsoul

Welcome Mediocre!

It's true that depression, anxiety and insomnia are all part of the vicious cycle of drinking (not to mention the vomiting, which sounds pretty serious to me).

It takes courage to reach out for help, so give yourself credit for that! I remember being terrified of giving up alcohol, but this forum gave me some hope that things really could get better and I didn't have to live that way anymore.

Keep reading and posting - we know what it's like!:ghug3

Mediocre

Thanks! The depression and insomnia have been a part of my life long before i was a drinker, im sure the alcohol doesnt help though. Ive always had a sensitive stomach so my hangovers are always very stomach heavy.

Mediocre

I can tell that i am not going to be going to sleep tonight

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

AA saved my life & I no longer have depression or anxiety. Have you looked into Rational Recovery or AVART (AVRT?)? Or any other alternative? There's always a solution!

Best Wishes!

sissy07

Hi,

I hope you seek help soon. When I was drinking I always had horrible stomach problems afterwards. It is very dangerous to be throwing up like that. Please stop before things get worse....and I guarantee they will be worse, and it will be harder to quit as time goes on. Alcoholism is progressive. Take care.

Mediocre

Thank you, made it through day 1 and im about half way through day 2.

freshstart57

The insomnia was really strange for me at first, sleeping only a couple of hours at a time at night. The sleep was not very restful because my body was starting to panic. On the other hand, my mind welcomed this along with the headache and queasiness, because I knew it meant that my body was on its way back to where it should be. I stayed hydrated and slowly started to eat light meals again.

At three days, things started to settle down. After a week, the sleep was incredible, sound and restful. My depression and anxiety started to lift to be replaced with optimism and confidence in my will to see this through. Stay the course, and you will never have to feel this cr@ppy again.

You can find more stories about this stage in your new sobriety here .

SD777

Hi mediocre. I'm starting day 4, and have definately had better sleep, less anxiety and depression. I went for a long walk yesterday, & felt the emotions I'd been medicating with alcohol for the first time in awhile. It helped to cry, eat a healthy meal, and go to sleep with positive thoughts. Good luck with day2, cuz day 3 is even better!

Mediocre

Thank you very much, i barely was able to eat yesterday but i got down some pasta a little bit ago. Making sure to drink as much water as i can and hope for better sleep tonight. I only got about an hour and half or so last night

sissy07

Mediocre:

I posted a few seconds ago and it didn't get on the board, so if this is a double post that is why!

I am glad you are keeping us updated on your progress.

The physical symptoms will subside in a few days. The mental stuff is what I have to watch. Whenever I started feeling rough while detoxing I thought about the stomach issues that I had when drinking. That was so much worse! Here's hoping you feel better soon - when you come out on the other side you won't believe how much better things are. Hang in there.

Mediocre

Just got put to the test, had to go to a birthday dinner at a byob restaurant and everyone was trying to hand me beers the whole time, plus there were kids there screaming and running around. I sure wanted one but i declined and just ate my meal. I think i can say day 2 is pretty much in the books.