southbay

New here, not even sure if I am on the right page. My 24 year old son moved in with me approximately 1 1/2 years ago when he went on disability for depression and anxiety and left his job. Recently, I needed a surgery and had to take time off work. During this time home I discovered my son has been abusing canned air regularly and Coracidin cold medicine. The first time I heard him talking to himself and he was high as a kite from inhaling that stuff. I called 911 and I thought for some odd reason they would be able to haul him off for help, but they could do nothing for me and his counselor could not force him back to see her. He was an adult and I was advised unless he will admit to an officer that he wants to kill himself, no help available. I spent the entire day calling friends and family asking for help. We did an intervention that night and he seemed to stop for awhile but he refused any further treatment.

This time he looked me straight in the eyes and denied all of it. However, he is back to it and has been this entire week. Today was the first time I caught him in the act as his door was wide open and I could hear the spraying of the can through the straw. When I became argumentive with him he got very angry with me, locked his bedroom door and shortly afterwards I could hear he was spraying then came the vomitting. I begged him to get help, but he totally refuses. Just the fact he left his bedroom door open this time and I could hear the canned air being sprayed, I thought was a cry for help but still refusing anything and anyone.

He will also actually leave around 1pm and not return until midnight or so. He has no friends, no job and I know from a previous admission by him, he parks and gets high then comes home after the high has left. Every night I lay down I am sick to my stomach that tonight he could die...I envision the sheriff coming to my door and telling me the news. I do not give him money, he actually had saved quite a bit when he was on disability after he moved in with us. I cannot stop the spending or access.

Frankly, I don't know what to do or where to go for help. My husband (we were married 4 years ago) has had it and I am at a loss. Can I get him placed somewhere without his approval? Has anyone succeeded with that?

Dee74

Welcome to SR Southbay

I'm sorry for your situation.

I have no personal experience to share but I know you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here.

I also recommend you look at our Family and Friends forums too

D

suki44883

Welcome to SR, southbay. You might want to post in our Family and Friends forum. You will find a lot of support there from people who have been through what you are dealing with. Here's a link to that forum...

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do if he is an adult and refuses treatment. Also, as long as he has a nice home to live in, a comfortable bed to sleep in and food to eat and a place to shower and have his clothes washed, he doesn't really have much incentive to change anything. If he found himself without those things, he might decide that he doesn't want to live on the street and be willing to get some help.

Again, welcome to SR! Please check out our Friends and Family forums. You will find a lot of support here.

chicory

I am so sorry that this is happening to all of you. How frightening it must be for you.
Will your son agree to talk to his counselor if it is the only way he could stay with you? He surely needs help, but you can't make him.
If he gets really sick from this, and he has to go to the hospital, can you have him kept for 72 hours for observation?
My heart goes out to you. I hope that you find some answers, and that your son is able to be reached before he hurts his self badly.
what if his counselor came to your home? would he maybe speak to her then?

hugs from a mom who understands.
chicory

eJoshua

I have no experience with this, but that sounds completely awful. I wish the best for you and I'm sorry you are going through this.

kiki5711

why is he on disability for depression and anxiety? I couldn't get disability after going through treatment for 2 different cancers and depression and anxiety was the least of my list of troubles.

Maybe the fact he has nothing responsible to do like having a job is what contributes to his depression and anxiety. Boredom also. Are you supporting him being at home and letting him do what he wants when he's at home?

Anna

I'm sorry for your situation, and I hope that you get some help for yourself and that your son will get help for himself.

Blood500

I have seen someone take legal guardianship away from an adult, she was 23 but understand that all adults are considered able to make decisions for themselves unless it is shown to a court that the adult in question is grossly mishandling his or her affairs and is impaired in a serious way, that is the only time I would personally have seen something legally be forced. I just wanted to say this only to show you another way, in saying that I would gather in this case it would not be doable but I have no idea of the state of your son. In the case you think that might be possible check your state laws or consult an attorney. I again am not recommending this only offer it as my very limited experience and information. I hope everything works out for the best!