just exactly what category do i fall into?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 2
just exactly what category do i fall into?
i'm in my late 20s. i drank a lot out with friends a few years ago , but then about 2 years ago i started experiencing the sickening effects of drinking too much: blacking out, vomitting, terrible hangovers, etc. then i decided i needed to back off. i stopped going out to clubs with friends as much, or instead went out with older, more mature adults and did less drinking intense outings. i can say i generally feel like i have made much better decisions when it comes to alcohol in the last 2 years. these days i may have a beer or two with dinner during the week but do not go out, on the weekends i go out with friends but rarely drink to the point of a hangover. i feel that 95% of the time i have complete control of my drinking.
then once about every 6 months i fall into that 5% category. the girlfriend is gone for the weekend, so let's go out and get wasted. i black out. sometimes i wake up and feel drunk still and ward off the hangover with another drink. i've never done that for more than 1 day, and the next resulting hangover is terrible. i feel emotionally terrible and unstable. i beat myself up for it, i really hate it. binge drinking once every 6 months doesn't make me do anything other than look like a fool to others, but i truly feel extreme guilt about it.
where i get hazy is when i look at other people around me. they get binge drunk once every 6 months too, or more. they think it's normal, they tell stories about getting kicked out of the bar and not remembering it to their friends and laugh about it. but i don't. i quietly hope weeks pass where everyone around me forgets how i was drunk that one night. does that make me an alcoholic because i have guilt that not all other drinkers have, or does that make me a more conscientious drinker than them?
and herein lies the problem: i don't want to black out, ever again. but i know if i continue to drink, that probably will happen again at some point in my life. i'll feel terrible about it, and then i'll go 6 months of drinking mostly responsibly and do it again, or will i? i have gotten better about drinking in the last 2 years, but maybe that means my drinking habits now are progressive and will get worse? i just don't know, and it bothers me. but then i ask myself, do i really need to stop drinking, or am i being too hard on myself? i truly cannot answer the question.
then once about every 6 months i fall into that 5% category. the girlfriend is gone for the weekend, so let's go out and get wasted. i black out. sometimes i wake up and feel drunk still and ward off the hangover with another drink. i've never done that for more than 1 day, and the next resulting hangover is terrible. i feel emotionally terrible and unstable. i beat myself up for it, i really hate it. binge drinking once every 6 months doesn't make me do anything other than look like a fool to others, but i truly feel extreme guilt about it.
where i get hazy is when i look at other people around me. they get binge drunk once every 6 months too, or more. they think it's normal, they tell stories about getting kicked out of the bar and not remembering it to their friends and laugh about it. but i don't. i quietly hope weeks pass where everyone around me forgets how i was drunk that one night. does that make me an alcoholic because i have guilt that not all other drinkers have, or does that make me a more conscientious drinker than them?
and herein lies the problem: i don't want to black out, ever again. but i know if i continue to drink, that probably will happen again at some point in my life. i'll feel terrible about it, and then i'll go 6 months of drinking mostly responsibly and do it again, or will i? i have gotten better about drinking in the last 2 years, but maybe that means my drinking habits now are progressive and will get worse? i just don't know, and it bothers me. but then i ask myself, do i really need to stop drinking, or am i being too hard on myself? i truly cannot answer the question.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Alcoholism is a progressive disease.
It gets worse.
I can't say if you're an alcoholic, only you can decide that.
But, you said you don't ever want to black out again and that if you continue to drink that will most likely happen ....... so, don't drink. If you find you have a difficult time not drinking then you've got a problem.
I had that wishy-washy thinking too while I was attempting to control my drinking .... which failed miserably by the way. Fact is, normal drinkers don't have to work at controlling their drinking.
Good luck to you!
It gets worse.
I can't say if you're an alcoholic, only you can decide that.
But, you said you don't ever want to black out again and that if you continue to drink that will most likely happen ....... so, don't drink. If you find you have a difficult time not drinking then you've got a problem.
I had that wishy-washy thinking too while I was attempting to control my drinking .... which failed miserably by the way. Fact is, normal drinkers don't have to work at controlling their drinking.
Good luck to you!
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Welcome to SR!
Some people are prone to say "If you even have to ask then that means you have a problem." While I don't necessarily think that's true, I think that the way you talk about alcohol is frightening -- you already recognize that you have no control over your drinking, that if you continue to drink you will inevitably have a night where you drink too much. And you are right to be concerned about it progressing to becoming something worse, that's usually what happens.
What if you were to commit to 90 days of sobriety and see what it feels like?
Some people are prone to say "If you even have to ask then that means you have a problem." While I don't necessarily think that's true, I think that the way you talk about alcohol is frightening -- you already recognize that you have no control over your drinking, that if you continue to drink you will inevitably have a night where you drink too much. And you are right to be concerned about it progressing to becoming something worse, that's usually what happens.
What if you were to commit to 90 days of sobriety and see what it feels like?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Originally Posted by eJoshua 
Welcome to SR!
Some people are prone to say "If you even have to ask then that means you have a problem." While I don't necessarily think that's true, I think that the way you talk about alcohol is frightening -- you already recognize that you have no control over your drinking, that if you continue to drink you will inevitably have a night where you drink too much. And you are right to be concerned about it progressing to becoming something worse, that's usually what happens.
What if you were to commit to 90 days of sobriety and see what it feels like?
Some people are prone to say "If you even have to ask then that means you have a problem." While I don't necessarily think that's true, I think that the way you talk about alcohol is frightening -- you already recognize that you have no control over your drinking, that if you continue to drink you will inevitably have a night where you drink too much. And you are right to be concerned about it progressing to becoming something worse, that's usually what happens.
What if you were to commit to 90 days of sobriety and see what it feels like?
My point is, my fear of thinking I had AIDS doesn't mean I was HIV-positive. My fear of failing my big test doesn't mean that I had. It's just in my personality to think the worst and worry (anxiety). So for me this was a big grappling point in the "am I/aren't I" an alcoholic debate... I was afraid I was just a worrywart and it was no big deal.
By trying to control my drinking, and then trying to stay sober for awhile as you suggest here, Josh, I realized that I definitely had a problem, that was not just in my imagination/fear. If I didn't have a problem, then not drinking, or not drinking to excess, wouldn't be an issue for me. I wouldn't keep doing stupid things after telling myself I didn't want to do them. So I think that a goal of abstaining is a great way to tell whether or not one really has a problem.
And for, I don't care if I'm an alcoholic, a problem drinker, an alcohol abuser... whatever. What matters to me is that alcohol was affecting my life negatively. It was changing me, and had changed me actually, into someone I didn't want to be. It brought me negative consequences and feelings. So, it was time to leave it behind.
So, OP, this is an issue you have to figure out for yourself. No one could tell me if I was an alcoholic although, like with you, people did express concern and say they could relate. I had to come to my own realizations on my own. I second the abstinence idea and I also ask you to consider whether alcohol is doing you more harm than good. If the answer is more harm, then why not give it up? Why do you really need it, if it causes you harm? (If these are your answers to the questions.)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,426
Welcome to SR 
If you're feeling terrible about it, I think you have your answer wowzers.
Other people can do what they like but I think it's important you focus on what your drinking does to you.
I always say it's not about how often you drink, or even really how much - it's about how your drinking makes you feel.
If you feel it's a problem, if you feel saddened or concerned by it, then it seems common sense to me that you do something about it
D
If you're feeling terrible about it, I think you have your answer wowzers.
Other people can do what they like but I think it's important you focus on what your drinking does to you.
I always say it's not about how often you drink, or even really how much - it's about how your drinking makes you feel.
If you feel it's a problem, if you feel saddened or concerned by it, then it seems common sense to me that you do something about it
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Welcome wowzers - it's great to have you with us.
My fear for you is that it will progress at some point - even though you seem in control most of the time for now. You sometimes have unpredictable results when you drink, & that's cause for concern. I drank like you do in my 20's. I never would have believed my social drinking could turn into 24/7 drinking, but it did. At some point you could find yourself dependent on it. Be careful.
My fear for you is that it will progress at some point - even though you seem in control most of the time for now. You sometimes have unpredictable results when you drink, & that's cause for concern. I drank like you do in my 20's. I never would have believed my social drinking could turn into 24/7 drinking, but it did. At some point you could find yourself dependent on it. Be careful.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Welcome to the family. What scares me is that even tho you rarely get drunk, when you do get drunk you black out. What's going to happen when you come to in a jail cell or a hospital, with injuries or legal charges? The chance of something awful happening doesn't decrease just because you only do this twice a year or so.
If it were me I'd quit so as not to tempt fate.
What scares me is that even tho you rarely get drunk, when you do get drunk you black out. What's going to happen when you come to in a jail cell or a hospital, with injuries or legal charges? The chance of something awful happening doesn't decrease just because you only do this twice a year or so.
If it were me I'd quit so as not to tempt fate. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 2
so what is it about me that sounds like i am progressing vs. someone else my age that may also go out and do the same level of drinking a couple of times a year and just consider themselves normal 20-something year olds? i do fear that i could become out of control, but a lot of others like me probably don't fear that at all...and a lot of them (possibly including me) may grow out of the stage and be "normal" drinkers (whatever that means).
i guess what i'm saying is that i don't believe it is a true statement that of the 60% of bar patrons i see out on a friday night that are obliterated will become alcoholics when they get older. sure, some will, but surely not all. i could be one, i could not, but what concerns me is WILL i? (btw, not a bar patron every friday that is obliterated, just to reiterate)
i know posting on the forum raises concerns to many of you that i have a problem, but one thing you should know is that i have severe OCD. like pigtails and her HIV worries, i too worry i will get AIDS, cancer, alcoholism, syphillis, anxiety attacks, depression, insanity, etc. this is a routine thing for me to be concerned about my life in serious ways.
granted, that certainly doesn't absolve me from becoming an alcoholic or a serious problem drinker in the future. i just want to know how to find out if i will become that person, because there has to be someone like me out there that grows up and isn't an alcoholic. maybe i am like that, maybe i'm not, but i feel like there has to some kind of way to figure it out.
thanks for all of the replies.
i guess what i'm saying is that i don't believe it is a true statement that of the 60% of bar patrons i see out on a friday night that are obliterated will become alcoholics when they get older. sure, some will, but surely not all. i could be one, i could not, but what concerns me is WILL i? (btw, not a bar patron every friday that is obliterated, just to reiterate)
i know posting on the forum raises concerns to many of you that i have a problem, but one thing you should know is that i have severe OCD. like pigtails and her HIV worries, i too worry i will get AIDS, cancer, alcoholism, syphillis, anxiety attacks, depression, insanity, etc. this is a routine thing for me to be concerned about my life in serious ways.
granted, that certainly doesn't absolve me from becoming an alcoholic or a serious problem drinker in the future. i just want to know how to find out if i will become that person, because there has to be someone like me out there that grows up and isn't an alcoholic. maybe i am like that, maybe i'm not, but i feel like there has to some kind of way to figure it out.
thanks for all of the replies.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,426
There are no guarantees wowzers - one way or the other.
I always looked at others too - it was easy to find people worse than me or people who drank like I did and seemed ok.
I missed the point completely - it's not about what drinking does to someone else - it's about what my drinking does to me.
If you're not happy with what drinking does to you, I don't know why you wouldn't want to do something about that?
D
I always looked at others too - it was easy to find people worse than me or people who drank like I did and seemed ok.
I missed the point completely - it's not about what drinking does to someone else - it's about what my drinking does to me.
If you're not happy with what drinking does to you, I don't know why you wouldn't want to do something about that?
D
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Originally Posted by wowzers
i could be one, i could not, but what concerns me is WILL i?
But I do know that the one way you can avoid becoming one is to not drink.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 223
I've had periods in my life when I only got really drunk every few months. The rest of the time I could control it. I looked around me and thought that I fell into the "normal" category for my age. I finally realized tho, whether I blackout every other weekend, or twice a year, once is too many for me. I realized that my drinking was accelerating and I didn't want to chance another blackout. I've been lucky thus far avoiding legal troubles, but I think our luck runs out eventually and I don't want to know what could happen if I continued that way. I agree with everyone in the fact that only you can decide if you have a problem. I hope you find your answer. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
I don't think that slotting yourself into a "category" or labeling yourself as some level of alcoholic is necessarily helpful.
Why not keep it simple?
You aren't comfortable with your use of alcohol.
Why not quit consuming alcohol?
Problem taken care of.
Why not keep it simple?
You aren't comfortable with your use of alcohol.
Why not quit consuming alcohol?
Problem taken care of.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
To drink or not to drink that's the question you want answer. HEHEHE
But seriously, if you don't want to black out again then not drinking is the only way to avoid it. But if you still want to drink but avoid those 6 month period of binge drinking for 2 days then you will need to know what trigger those, what the hell. I'm going to let loose, feelings.
If you can control your drinking 95% of the time, I don't think you have a drinking problem. Your asking a question in a place were people have trouble getting throw one week of sobriety. So the answers are a little bit to the your going to have a drinking problem in a few years.
Go see a doctor about this because even though you only the binge drinking once every 6 months. Getting black out see something that you should not go through. Also do you drink a lot of caffeine before you drink heavy? Drinking caffeine before drinking heavy will cause black outs.
But seriously, if you don't want to black out again then not drinking is the only way to avoid it. But if you still want to drink but avoid those 6 month period of binge drinking for 2 days then you will need to know what trigger those, what the hell. I'm going to let loose, feelings.
If you can control your drinking 95% of the time, I don't think you have a drinking problem. Your asking a question in a place were people have trouble getting throw one week of sobriety. So the answers are a little bit to the your going to have a drinking problem in a few years.
Go see a doctor about this because even though you only the binge drinking once every 6 months. Getting black out see something that you should not go through. Also do you drink a lot of caffeine before you drink heavy? Drinking caffeine before drinking heavy will cause black outs.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
If you can consistently control you use of alcohol then you're unlike me. Wouldn't get too concerned about things that are not a problem to you.
Both of us probably cough and clear our throats occasionally but we are not at present like those who cannot breathe on their own. Spending any head time worrying about that happening to us in the future would not be useful or reasonable.
If that thought causes you to post your sudden concerns on a COPD board then you'll know what's going on.
Both of us probably cough and clear our throats occasionally but we are not at present like those who cannot breathe on their own. Spending any head time worrying about that happening to us in the future would not be useful or reasonable.
If that thought causes you to post your sudden concerns on a COPD board then you'll know what's going on.
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