Is anyone like me?
 

Does anyone know of anyone similar to me – am I an Anomaly? Most of the behavior and symptoms of alcoholism as described in these self help web sites do not seem to apply to me. (Though to be sure, I want to stop drinking or drink less, but can’t seem to accomplish that, and I drink way too much. I have an overwhelming urge to drink in the evenings in order to feel well relaxed for a good nights sleep). I have been drinking heavily for about 7 or 8 years. In the past 500 days or so I have drank every single day (until one week ago). I almost always drink only in the evening except for rare social events that might begin as early as noon. I never miss work. I don’t have trouble meeting any commitments. I train for running and bicycling races without any difficulties and I compete at a high level. I am trim and fit. I do not get hangovers. I do not stumble or generally behave drunk. I have a good appetite with good digestion.

Now, here is the really odd thing that makes me wonder about myself: I have about 85 to 100 drinks every week - about 10 to 15 per night! My ability to function so well has been a hindrance to stopping. I have not had a drink for 4 straight days and am not experiencing any shakes or anxiety or any significant side effects. (I have an occasional twitch and a tiny bit of prickly feeling on my face at night usually).

I would be interested in hearing if this sounds like reasonable behavior and what I should focus on to motivate me to lesson my drinking when all seems to be going fairly well. Thanks for listening.

What is your reason for wanting to stop?

Just the amount you drink and the fact that you continue to do what you do, doesn't mean anything other than you drink like an alcoholic. You do know that alcohol interrupts proper sleep patterns, whether you acknowledge it or not... Your More Significant side effects (other than what you mentioned, which isn't normal) may occur overnight in the near or distant future.

Have you discussed your drinking with your physician? I would start there!

Oh, and by asking a question on this site, there's a clue you know something is amiss...

Best wishes,

Yep - you sound exactly like me. In fact, when I landed in the ER unexpectedly with alcoholic pancreatitis last fall, it stunned my friends and co-workers as they have known me for over a decade yet never knew I drank.

Picture of health, never missed a morning meeting, always on top of things and ahead of the curve. Went out socially with friends on weekends and co-workers after work.

Saved my drinking for home where I was a party for one drinker. My nightly "unwind" after work or meeting friends out was a 5th of scotch a day. Yep - $40 every other day buying the jug with the glass handle and rotating liquor stores so as to not get to know the staff.

You don't reference your age, but I am in my mid-40s and have been a nightly drinker since my early 20s. Alcoholism is progressive, and I likely would not have given it a second thought 10 years ago. I will be at 60 days sober tomorrow and guess I lost the frame of reference on what feeling well really felt like as I slowly sunk deeper into the muck.

If you decide to quit, you need to do it for you. The reasons and motivations need to be your own. My only recommendation is to do it while you are still feeling healthy and active. Booze will end up sucking the life blood out of you if you let it.

Hmm well only you can decide if you're an alcoholic or not.

If you can spare ten dollars , have a read of Amazon.com: Seven Weeks to Sobriety: The Proven Program to Fight Alcoholism through Nutrition (9780449002599): Joan Mathews Larson: Books and you might find some of us alcoholics did that when we were early into the progression.

For another small amount read Under the Influence and Beyond the Influence for more descriptions of stages and adaptations that happen Amazon.com: Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism (9780553274875): James Robert Milam, Katherine Ketcham: Books

The books are probably a lot less than you spend a week on drinking and a good read IMHO

Whether you're an alcoholic or not , that's a lot of units to throw at your body and something will probably give , given time.

I don't really think that the withdrawl symptoms you have or don't have, should be how you motivate yourself to stop drinking.

Is alcohol causing problems in your life, with your health or well-being? If so, then you are in the right place for support.

The human body is a miracle. It is good at adjusting and doing what it takes to try to maintain functioning. So many people are balanced on a thread and don't even know it.
Just because you can so call function right now..doesn't mean you are not damaging your body.
When I quit drinking I swear I could start feeling the relief at the cellular level.
Take care of yourself - sounds like you enjoy a healthy body..make it so!

Welcome to SR!

I'm not sure that drinking 85-100 drinks per week can be categorized as "reasonable behavior" no matter how you slice it. As far as how to motivate yourself to quit, I know for me there was nothing that really motivated me to do anything but drink (example: when deeply concerned about my health because of my drinking the way I consoled myself was by drinking).

I know that there are a ton of people out there just like you: they are not the stereotypical, living under a bridge alcoholics that we all picture in our heads but something is bound to give eventually. Alcohol at that level will either lead to death, misery or both, regardless of how little the impact seems now.

I was you Bobby - for maybe the first 10 years of my drinking - but man, the last ten were another kettle of fish entirely.

I counted on always being able to be that 'functional' - I had it sussed.....

What I didn't realise then was that functionality was just a phase in my eventual progression to being 'that guy' the neighbourhood drunk.

I think Anna's right - maybe you need to look more right now at the problems and concerns that have bought here, rather than the ways you're still on top of things?....you do not want to end up like me.

D

[QUOTE=Aegian;3149674] I will be at 60 days sober tomorrow and guess I lost the frame of reference on what feeling well really felt like as I slowly sunk deeper into the muck.[QUOTE]

I am only on day 10, and I can so relate to what you said here. I thought I was only physically and mentally affected by alcohol for 3 days post weekend binge. (Only??). But as I'm seeing now, even when I thought I felt good (or as good as it was going to get by Friday afternoon), I still felt like crud compared to the way I feel now. And I had seriously no idea. Feeling horrible became so woven into my existence, that I forgot what it was like to truly feel well.

So now when folks that are drinking say how great they feel, and how much they are getting done, I silently say to myself, "Yes, for the amount you drink, yes. But for a non-drinker, probably not even close." Because even an over achieving alcoholic would probably be nearly superhuman in energy, clarity and motivation without fighting the affects of alcohol.

Oh, I hate how we torture ourselves.

My history is not at all like yours, but I have to tell you I've been sober now for almost two years and feel better than I have in a long time.:) Try living sober. It rocks!:)

I've heard this story many times at AA. It is usually followed up with, "and then things got bad". The amount you consume is really up there, well beyond healthy levels.

If you can slow down, slow down. If you find you can't, then quit. If you find you can't quit, well, welcome to alcoholics anonymous.

You may not feel the effects now but I guarantee you will. 10-15 drinks is a lot. Things are happening to your body that you do not realize. Despite popular belief, you can have withdraws several days after quitting. I cared for a woman who under went surgery on her hip. 5 days after her surgery, she started having severe withdraws. Extremely high blood pressure, hallucinations, tremors, sweating, seizures. Her husband told us he was surprised it didn't happen sooner as she drank a big bottle of wine every night for years. If you are unsure if you have a problem, try quitting for 90 days. I would however speak to your physician before doing so. Good luck

Bobby - glad you are here, & that you asked the question.

Like Dee, I once drank like you. Over the years, my tolerance for alcohol grew. Where once a few drinks would do the job, in the end it took vast amounts to make me even slightly high. At some point, I lost all control - and alcohol ruled my every move. I would've laughed if anyone had told me I'd end up with 3 dui's & a life spinning out of control. Be careful - I hope you can avoid the nightmare I found myself living in.

Welcome to SR!

It sounds like the physical part of alcoholism hasn't hit you, YET.

YET stands for You're Eligible Too!

Pretty much every thing you read on this forum about the physical decline in our bodies from heavy alcohol use will eventually happen to you. There are biological, chemical, neurological, and other changes that occur with all of us as we age. Alcohol abuse adds another dimension to the aging process and brings it's own set of issues. If you are drinking 15 drinks a night, every night, it will catch up with you. You are not immortal.

Thank you for all the comments and well wishes. I am processing all of the comments as well as checking in on other peoples stories, failures, and successes. I intend to get back in touch with a few of you for follow up questions.

Thank you everyone.

I don't know your age, but I was there too 15 years ago. Owned my own business thought life was going great. Then you wake up one day and something has changed. It happens that quick- that's the baffling part. It just flips on you. All I can say is it is good that you recognize that your drinking is not normal by any means regardless of the effect on your life now. Awareness is one of the first things to go in this disease along with the big one- Denial.

Yup. Now what?

You sound like me.. all most to a tee.. But I have drink for 30 years. Liver fine. everything fine.. But now I have Alcohol Neropathy.. Ever heard of that? Me either.. it's not fun and once you damage the nerve they MAY never return to normal. And it happend to women more often than males.. and more often then people know about.. sometime it effects the nerves in you organs.. like your HEART.. starts with a little tingling in your feet and legs and then BAD muscle cramps and shoting pain in you legs.
Everyday and Everynight..

Bobby I am somewhat like you. I don't really tend to get hangovers (or if I do it takes one heckuva lot!), I don't really get the shakes, I don't really get anxiety but I do get irritated at night easily if I don't drink. I normally drank a little less than you each night but enough that had my husband worried.
I've been drinking for about 7 years with a 2 year break in between when I had my son. Went cold turkey as soon as I found out I was pregnant which was REALLY hard!
For me, I've been able to social drink and only drink one or two and cut it off from there but once I'm home I lose control easily, especially depending on the day I've had.
I didn't even start to wonder about myself until about 3 years ago and then it was a fleeting thought of "maybe I'm drinking too much?"