Is anyone like me?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,348
Welcome Bobby1, I agree with what everyone on here has posted and hope for your sake that you take it to heart. I was exactly like you, and I think it's very telling how many people said the same thing. You say you want to stop drinking or drink less, but can't seem to accomplish that. Sounds to me like you are not an anomoly at all. I wish you well on your journey and am glad you're here! 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
Bobby, I agree with what others have said. You don't mention your age, but I'm almost 40 and I can tell you that I was just like you up to about 6 months ago. The star of the show at work, etc.
Now, I still am, but I can tell you in the last 6 months or so all those years of drinking heavily began to catch up with me. And inevitably it will catch up with you.
You are not an anomaly, not in the least. As someone else mentioned, the human body is an amazing thing, and can tolerate a lot. But eventually what you ask of it becomes too much. It wears out. And it will wear out so much more quickly if you are drinking 80-100 drinks per week.
There's a quote in The Sun Also Rises in which someone is asked how they went bankrupt. They reply: "Very slowly at first -- and then all at once." Drinking heavily (whether or not you call it alcoholism) is the same way. You clearly are a very talented person but you are drinking at the edge of a precipice.
Good luck to you, but consider the quote above or the common notion that people who have never broken a bone think they are invincible. The fact that you are successful so far really means nothing. I've achieved a lot while drinking heavily -- but that didn't mean that my drinking wasn't a problem.
Now, I still am, but I can tell you in the last 6 months or so all those years of drinking heavily began to catch up with me. And inevitably it will catch up with you.
You are not an anomaly, not in the least. As someone else mentioned, the human body is an amazing thing, and can tolerate a lot. But eventually what you ask of it becomes too much. It wears out. And it will wear out so much more quickly if you are drinking 80-100 drinks per week.
There's a quote in The Sun Also Rises in which someone is asked how they went bankrupt. They reply: "Very slowly at first -- and then all at once." Drinking heavily (whether or not you call it alcoholism) is the same way. You clearly are a very talented person but you are drinking at the edge of a precipice.
Good luck to you, but consider the quote above or the common notion that people who have never broken a bone think they are invincible. The fact that you are successful so far really means nothing. I've achieved a lot while drinking heavily -- but that didn't mean that my drinking wasn't a problem.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi Bobby and welcome to SR. I was exactly like you until the last year before I quit. Up until then I drank between a liter and a liter and half of wine a night, and never had a problem.
All I can say is that a life without booze is the most wonderful thing ever. For me it's as though I finally woke up. I love everything about it.
LaFemme
All I can say is that a life without booze is the most wonderful thing ever. For me it's as though I finally woke up. I love everything about it.
LaFemme
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 9
Thank you again for each of your comments. I Think I need to spend some more time on this forum and see what is available for the "what's next?" steps.
It has been struggle since my first post on 10/26. I have certainly cut back - which is a start I suppose. I have logged all my drinking since 10/19, and though I still feel like I am failing based on my current goal (my goal is to not drink 3 or 4 days a week and drink no more than 6 on the days I drink - that would get me down from 80-100 drinks a week to 18 to 24). Since I started this 33 days ago I have averaged 47 drinks per. (Also, I recognize that I may not succeed in trying to “drink manageably”). I have skipped drinking on 11 of those 33 days. That is big for me. It probably took 3 years prior to this for me to accumulate 11 total days of not drinking.
BTW, so many people questioned age and duration of drinking…. I am 46 and have been drinking only since I was about 37-38 (less than 1 drink per week before that). Heavy drinking started at about 41-43 (25-50 drinks a week). Supper heavy (over 70) started about 2 years ago.
No one knows what is going on. I suppose I may need help if I am to continue.
I never ask for help - I guess I am looking for help.
I have not contacted any of you specifically yet. I feel like I need more involvement. I am not sure what should be next other than my continued efforts on my own. Thank you.
It has been struggle since my first post on 10/26. I have certainly cut back - which is a start I suppose. I have logged all my drinking since 10/19, and though I still feel like I am failing based on my current goal (my goal is to not drink 3 or 4 days a week and drink no more than 6 on the days I drink - that would get me down from 80-100 drinks a week to 18 to 24). Since I started this 33 days ago I have averaged 47 drinks per. (Also, I recognize that I may not succeed in trying to “drink manageably”). I have skipped drinking on 11 of those 33 days. That is big for me. It probably took 3 years prior to this for me to accumulate 11 total days of not drinking.
BTW, so many people questioned age and duration of drinking…. I am 46 and have been drinking only since I was about 37-38 (less than 1 drink per week before that). Heavy drinking started at about 41-43 (25-50 drinks a week). Supper heavy (over 70) started about 2 years ago.
No one knows what is going on. I suppose I may need help if I am to continue.
I never ask for help - I guess I am looking for help.
I have not contacted any of you specifically yet. I feel like I need more involvement. I am not sure what should be next other than my continued efforts on my own. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
I'm 51. I started to feel the physical side of alcohol abuse over the last year. Up until then, I was fine ... fully functional at work ... and running marathons. Then my running became more difficult. I chalked it up to age at first, but there were other signs like high blood pressure and cholesterol. Being a longtime distance runner I never had issues with those measures ... in fact, I looked forward to checkups and was always quite proud of my healthy numbers.
If you're without significant warning signs now, you're lucky. It doesn't take a genius, however, to understand that continued drinking at your level will one day take its toll. When I was at that point, part of me figured I could keep on drinking until a physical sign made itself known. But as soon as one would appear (say high BP), I ignored it and kept on drinking. We talk about hitting rock bottom. I suppose that was what I was waiting for.
Seeing that there was a problem in my drinking pattern, I decided to stop drinking. I'm only on Day 7 and don't have all the answers. Part of me thinks I can return to moderate drinking, even though that is most likely an illusion. I suggest you refrain from alcohol for 30 days. If you don't have a problem, it won't be a big deal to stop. If you do have a problem, you may realize it during those 30 days.
If you're without significant warning signs now, you're lucky. It doesn't take a genius, however, to understand that continued drinking at your level will one day take its toll. When I was at that point, part of me figured I could keep on drinking until a physical sign made itself known. But as soon as one would appear (say high BP), I ignored it and kept on drinking. We talk about hitting rock bottom. I suppose that was what I was waiting for.
Seeing that there was a problem in my drinking pattern, I decided to stop drinking. I'm only on Day 7 and don't have all the answers. Part of me thinks I can return to moderate drinking, even though that is most likely an illusion. I suggest you refrain from alcohol for 30 days. If you don't have a problem, it won't be a big deal to stop. If you do have a problem, you may realize it during those 30 days.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Philly PA
Posts: 814
Hi Bobby1 - I'm 48 (soon to be 49
) and didn't start drinking daily until 2005, what's that? like 6 years or so? I was drinking a few times a week then and in 2007 started being more often. Then by 2009 it was a nightly thing (every night) sometimes just 1, sometimes as many as 5-6. Well it has been getting progressively worse until this year I started having glasses of rum on the side and hiding drinks and realizing that I couldn't "just stop for a night or 2"... add a small taste of something while driving to the food store and you have yourself a problem.
I went to my doctors and asked for Antabuse (I know me - I need a deterrent for now). During the first week I had myself thinking I’ll just stay on these boards and quit for like 3 months… after that I’ll be re-set and I can go back to drinking like I did when I was in my 30s – normal every once and awhile I’ll have a drink. And the longer I’m without a drink and reflecting on the past few years I’m realizing that I can’t and I’m mad about that right now – down right angry. I’m realizing that I can’t control my drinking – it controls me. And I believe it’s like when I quit smoking years and years ago. Two times I tried to have just one smoke and was back to a pack a day in no time. I haven’t smoked for like 20 years and I don’t miss it at all when I used to think “What will I do without a cigarette in my hand” now I don’t give it a thought. I believe it will be that way with alcohol.
So listen to WhoDey – stop for 30 days and during that time think about your drinking and what it may be keeping you from doing. I realized that it kept me from interacting with my kids. Only for 30 days – then assess after that. Glad you found your way here.
) and didn't start drinking daily until 2005, what's that? like 6 years or so? I was drinking a few times a week then and in 2007 started being more often. Then by 2009 it was a nightly thing (every night) sometimes just 1, sometimes as many as 5-6. Well it has been getting progressively worse until this year I started having glasses of rum on the side and hiding drinks and realizing that I couldn't "just stop for a night or 2"... add a small taste of something while driving to the food store and you have yourself a problem. I went to my doctors and asked for Antabuse (I know me - I need a deterrent for now). During the first week I had myself thinking I’ll just stay on these boards and quit for like 3 months… after that I’ll be re-set and I can go back to drinking like I did when I was in my 30s – normal every once and awhile I’ll have a drink. And the longer I’m without a drink and reflecting on the past few years I’m realizing that I can’t and I’m mad about that right now – down right angry. I’m realizing that I can’t control my drinking – it controls me. And I believe it’s like when I quit smoking years and years ago. Two times I tried to have just one smoke and was back to a pack a day in no time. I haven’t smoked for like 20 years and I don’t miss it at all when I used to think “What will I do without a cigarette in my hand” now I don’t give it a thought. I believe it will be that way with alcohol.
So listen to WhoDey – stop for 30 days and during that time think about your drinking and what it may be keeping you from doing. I realized that it kept me from interacting with my kids. Only for 30 days – then assess after that. Glad you found your way here.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
You seem to be finding as most (all?) of us do that 'moderation' is at best dissatisfying (at worst, impossible).
So I had to accept that the best case scenario for me if I continued to drink was dissatisfaction. I was never going to have a big contented sigh "ahhhhhhhhh. two drinks". I do remember choosing that though. That I'd rather struggle and drink than quit and be bored, isolated or worse.... in AA
It all seems kind of funny now. Like it never occurred to me (really, never) that thinking life would suck without alcohol was just the alcoholic in me running the show. It's just totally not true.
I never did join AA. But I am sober and very happy. I hope you can at least give it a shot.
So I had to accept that the best case scenario for me if I continued to drink was dissatisfaction. I was never going to have a big contented sigh "ahhhhhhhhh. two drinks". I do remember choosing that though. That I'd rather struggle and drink than quit and be bored, isolated or worse.... in AA
It all seems kind of funny now. Like it never occurred to me (really, never) that thinking life would suck without alcohol was just the alcoholic in me running the show. It's just totally not true.
I never did join AA. But I am sober and very happy. I hope you can at least give it a shot.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 133
I quit drinking 15 days ago. I have had no physical withdrawal symptoms. I still want to drink, but thats because thats what I have done everyday for the last 15 or so years and it has become the focal point of my social existence in that time. I am now dealing with leagal consiquences of multiple dui's and have decided my drinking has caused too much destruction in my life and need to stop before I do more. Do I meet the classic description of an alcoholic? I don't know. I do know if I have one beer today I'll have two tomorrow and slowly get back to where I was. I need to stop because my drinking is ruining my life bottom line. Even though I don't have physical withdrawal symptoms I still have the desire to drink and have a little voice in my head trying to tell me I just need to moderate, but I've "moderated" before and it didn't work in the past and won't work now...not for me.
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
I am right up there with you on amount and still being successful, I drank anywhere from 12 to 18 beers a night, every night, for about 5 years with a couple of breaks. I thought during that time that I was fine as I still performed at work drank lots of water during the day so avoided the hangovers and didn't get the shakes or anything like that, I am also fairly active, not as much as you I think, but I go running on a regular basis and never had a problem, or at least not one that I attributed to alcohol. But within the last year I started to notice my hands shaking and that I would be drinking more often until I passed out. I started not getting to work early like I used to which progress into not showing up for some things that I should of. None of this thus far has affected me greatly, but the point is that it wasn't like that before and now it is. Then I tried to not drink or at least slim down on the amount and discovered just how hard that was. I haven't been able to make it a week straight yet (working on this week). Well I just wanted to throw out there that while you have been drinking longer than I have maybe it is just taking you longer to get to the point that I have (everyone is diffrent). and if what the people here are saying is true then it could be only a matter of time until you get to like me and then if you don't stop you will be a part of the "everything was fine until" group. That is the reason that I am trying to stop now because I don't want to have one of those stories. I would preffer to be able to say I recognized that I had a problem before it became a serious one and I fixed it. But that is me, and I am pretty new at this as well.
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