SUECAT

hey everyone. i am going to kick off a new period of sobriety on November 1. I would like to ask for some help in this. There are plenty of meetings where I live but I've been having some trouble with being faithful to the concepts of AA. In the end I became frustrated because I felt incapable of maintaining sobriety and became discouraged by the 'life or death' ideas that I kept hearing about. Seems I left meetings with a feeling of relief but also a lot of residual fear that I was not 'doing it right'. The program has been essential to me in terms of realizing the strength of my spirituality, and in seeing the damage my drinking does to my entire body, mind, soul.... And how much I have been isolated.
ANYWAY!... I'm uncertain I will be using the AA resource as I enter into this dry time. I am asking for encouragement, and maybe a buddy or two with whom I could check in on a daily basis to keep my attitude in the right place? And a drink out of my hand? It would help me immensely and maybe it might help you guys too!! I really honor and thank the community here.
-Suecat

cb1

Hello Suecat!!!!

If you don't want to go the AA route (me either) check outs some books. Rational Recovery is one of my favs!! I will be glad to help/lean on you through your way

we can do this!!!


CB

keithurbanfan

Welcome Suecat! I'm at a new start in my attempt at sobriety also (not using AA). I'll be glad to be your buddy!

VolcomStone51

I'm sure I may not be the first to ask this, but Why November 1st? Setting a date for me never worked, as tomorrow is always the best day to quit.

SSIL75

When I would 'set dates' it was because I thought sobriety was something to dread and I need to 'soak up' all the awesomeness of drinking before I 'had' to 'get on the wagon' and live some time in boring misery.

Well needless to say I never did stay sober while I thought that way.

Keep posting!

SUECAT

CB and urbanfan... thank you and looking forward to mutual benefits of checking in with you! volcom, great question. wish i had a great answer. i guess the 'just for today' thing has only worked for me when i have a foreseeable time in the near future to start sobriety. i haven't had much luck otherwise. i understand what you're saying and appreciate any support you can offer.

SUECAT

understood, SSIL-- i actually am quite excited for 11/1/11!!!

munchkin05

Good Luck Suecat!!! We look forward to seeing your progress!!!

VolcomStone51

I understand you would be excited, but what are your plans between 11/1/11 and now? Also, I guess I worry if you have chosen this based on the interesting date? If this is so, and an unfortunate relapse takes place would you wait for another meaningful/interesting date to start again? I am just worried as is seems like a fun thing to try on this particular date (I may be wrong in my assumption). I am not trying to be mean by any means, I just am playing the devil's advocate. For me I woke up one day after a few prior attempts and realized my life was not my life anymore and I was being ruled by alcohol and have not touched anything since. I wish you luck with your sobriety!

sayaprayer

wishing u the best of luck for your set date, hope you have lots of sweet things stored up and a full agenda. the gym is a verygood place to be and of sober recovery x

XbrenbrenX

if you are anything like me, we need structure.

my best ideas landed me where i was. time to let someone else tell me what to do for awhile.

this can take the form of:

rehab
Outpatient rehab
AA
NA
Secular 12 step
etc

any type of external structure will help get you on the right track, again, if you're anything like me

bren

Revielle1980

I couldn't agree more, this website is a wonderful supplement to recovery with great support. However, if you're a alcoholic using it and your own will alone seems to be tempting fate of getting yourself back in trouble.

Alcoholism is cunning baffling and powerful and the real life accountability of having real people to help you, especially in early recovery goes a long way.

Like said above there are many different options.
Best of luck.

iliveforyou

Hi Sue,

I agree w/ the others on how setting a date often results in unfortunate relapses. I can personally say that I've always failed when I told myself "one last time" "tomorrow I'll do it" and all the tomorrow's continue to pass with no success. Everyone is different though and I truly wish you the best We will be here to support you and post as often as you can! There are plenty of resources available to you. AA is only one option. There are alternate programs that can help you as well. A lot of addicts find it very helpful to have face to face support, even if it's just seeing a therapist. I personally do not use anything except for SR and the support system I have built with several people on here who've become dear friends.

I am happy to hear that you want to get sober, you can do this!!

-Jess

Anna

Hi Sue,

I also found that setting future dates to stop drinking didn't work for me.

I hope it works out for you, and plelase know that there is lots of support here.

freshstart57

Suecat, everyone who used to drink will tell you that YOU WILL NOT BE GIVING UP ANYTHING. I hope I said that clearly so you get it. This is most important that you understand this and realize it. Nothing. The only things you will say goodbye to are bad things and you can make your own list. In fact, it will help you immensely to make that list right now.

Here's another thing. You have decided to keep on drinking with that quit date of Nov 1. That date means nothing, all you have done is refused to quit. If my experience is anything, that date will come and go with the result that nothing changes.

Understand that the only time for you that anything happens is now. It is really the only moment that exists for us, the only moment that we are alive, not in the past, and definitely not in the future. Whenever you quit, it will be the present moment for you. It follows then that now is the only time you can ever possibly quit.

Make that decision to quit now. By that I mean right now. Nothing bad will happen to you. You will be relieved in your heart and mind the second after you make that commitment to yourself and your life. You will be on your way to the life you want, the life you deserve.

Try to answer this question in the light of the stuff I have scribbled down above. What is your plan for using alcohol? This is a big deal, Suecat, and it is the crux of what you need to do now. What is your plan for your future use of alcohol?

Muunray

I was able to quit by just surprising myself and quitting..not planning on a date. The planning I think comes with the staying quit though.

Aegian

Suecat, AA is not the only option for sobriety support, and sobriety is much, much more than just drying out! There are programs like SMART and AVRT - and the Secular Connections forum on this site has a host of members who are quite knowledgeable about those options.

Be prepared to read up if you venture in there. Those folks have the most extensive bookmarks/favorites at their fingertips that I think I have ever seen.

meblonde

Good luck to you... some don't feel it is a good thing to have a stop date, but you know what? at least you are going to do it.. You will have that date to let you know how long you did it and when your year of not drinking comes around you can celabrate... with a candy bar or somthing... hehe...

Hevyn

Suecat and meblonde - Congratulations on your decision to reach out for a better life.

I drank all my adult years away. I'm so thankful to finally have a clear head to face whatever the future brings. Every time I drank I put myself in danger. It's such a relief to not live that way anymore. I wish for you both the same peace of mind and freedom from the grips of alcoholism that I have found. We are with you on your journey.

06yz125

Hey suecat..

November 1st is tuesday. Thats not too far away. Its great
you have made a decision to begin a new way to live then.
Maybe between now and then you can use any resources
available to get you started.

Good Luck...we're pulling for you.