madison4u

I have a relative who says she is clean, but I don't believe she is anymore. She was addicted to prescription drugs and went to a one week rehab few months ago. She has taken a few thousand dollars from relatives earlier in the year and now she has stolen credit/debit cards from same relatives and taken a few thousand dollars in cash. If this relative decides to file a police report I believe it will be a felony, which could mean serious time in jail. I don't blame them if they file a police report because they told her if she stole again they would report it but this is a serious crime. She is in the teaching profession so of course she would not have her job anymore if arrested. What do you think she is doing with all this money? All this money was taken within a one week time frame, where could it be going? Is she just using or selling or buying drugs for friends too? Not sure what I should do to help this person. Do you let them go to jail and hope this helps? I think it could throw this person over the edge and something bad could happen. I just don't know what to do and have never been around something like this in my life.

JessicaN

The best, and really the only thing you can do, is not enable.

If your relative goes to jail, then maybe she'll be able to get help there. Hopefully, she won't have access to drugs and will be forced to detox & get a little bit of clean time. Some people go to jail, loose everything for awhile, but it wakes them up to reality to see how much damage they're doing by using. Now, not everybody has that reaction, but I can tell you this... if you or your family allows her to steal and enable her in anyway the chances of her getting clean are slim to none, she will probably die first.

By the time I got clean I had nothing, my family wouldn't even speak to me, and didn't start speaking to me until after I had a year clean (which I don't blame them, because I did consistently lie and steal from them too).

You can still love her, by wishing the best for her and if she ever wants to get help assist her in doing so, but you should do your best to not enable. Enabling is what helps to kill. As hard as it is, let her feel the consequences. Good luck & hang in there! There's always hope.

Fenris

One week in rehab isn't even enough time to completely get the drugs out of her system, much less teach her how to live a different way of life clean and sober. I think that jail should always be the last option for helping a person, but it should definitely be an option -- better to get clean in a cell than die of this disease or ruin the lives of those around us. Assuming she really is using and not using the stolen money for something else, I would first consider looking into a long-term rehab (a month or more) for her and use that as the carrot, reserving the jail option for use as the stick. People have a much better chance at staying clean if they have volunteered for it; but that doesn't mean that forcing someone to go and get clean never works. Her job's irrelevant...not to be overly-dramatic, but we're talking about saving her life. This disease is progressive, incurable and fatal if left untreated.

--Fenris.

madison4u

Thanks for the advice! It is so sad and I know there are so many people going through this same problem. You feel so helpless and I am sure the addict feels hopeless. Life is so short anyway and to waste it this way is hard for me to understand. I do feel very sorry for her.

Taking5

One week is not rehab. It might be a detox. I say might because it could take longer than a week to get it out of your system.

Where is the money going? Drugs of course. She doesn't need to be buying drugs for a whole bunch of people to go through a few thousand dollars.