Great birthday weekend and didnt get wasted!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Please be careful, Sara. We care about you & hope you can benefit from our experience. We don't mean to lecture, just would like to keep you from going down the same dangerous path, if possible.
I'm glad you posted about your birthday. I hope you'll continue to share how you're doing.
I'm glad you posted about your birthday. I hope you'll continue to share how you're doing.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: La-La Land! :)
Posts: 136
Happy Birthday Sara23!!
Glad to hear you had a good time without overindulging! Like I said before, I think we have a lot in common. I never thought I was an alcoholic, but started realizing I had trouble controlling my drinking when I did drink. I actually drink a lot less now than I did in my early 20's so how can I be an alcoholic?? However, as I have been researching things and looking into "alcoholism" in general, it seems like most people I know including myself, are considered "alcoholics". It makes it difficult to understand because it seems as if there is no difference in someone who drinks 3 bottles of hard alcohol a night, compared to someone who has shots at a nightclub with friends on a weekend. I wish there was a sliding scale or something! lol All the same, like I said earlier, I am not ready to quit completely, but have for now set goals and limits for myself. Have not had a hangover in weeks, so I'm happy about that! I thought this may not be the right site for me for a time as well, but I have realized, at least for me, there will be a day where I have to stop completely. And this site will be great for that. Even since I joined, I often think of this site to keep from pouring one more, or from going to the store to buy wine. If it helps even a little, I think that's a good thing! Good luck with everything! 27 has been a wonderful year for me, but I do look back and wish I had drank less! My 28th is coming up in Spring... maybe that will be when I cut the booze out completely. In the end it is something we have to decide on our own, because if we aren't ready, we will never be successful, and success for each person, can be something different entirely. Take care!
Glad to hear you had a good time without overindulging! Like I said before, I think we have a lot in common. I never thought I was an alcoholic, but started realizing I had trouble controlling my drinking when I did drink. I actually drink a lot less now than I did in my early 20's so how can I be an alcoholic?? However, as I have been researching things and looking into "alcoholism" in general, it seems like most people I know including myself, are considered "alcoholics". It makes it difficult to understand because it seems as if there is no difference in someone who drinks 3 bottles of hard alcohol a night, compared to someone who has shots at a nightclub with friends on a weekend. I wish there was a sliding scale or something! lol All the same, like I said earlier, I am not ready to quit completely, but have for now set goals and limits for myself. Have not had a hangover in weeks, so I'm happy about that! I thought this may not be the right site for me for a time as well, but I have realized, at least for me, there will be a day where I have to stop completely. And this site will be great for that. Even since I joined, I often think of this site to keep from pouring one more, or from going to the store to buy wine. If it helps even a little, I think that's a good thing! Good luck with everything! 27 has been a wonderful year for me, but I do look back and wish I had drank less! My 28th is coming up in Spring... maybe that will be when I cut the booze out completely. In the end it is something we have to decide on our own, because if we aren't ready, we will never be successful, and success for each person, can be something different entirely. Take care!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Armpit, USA
Posts: 9
[QUOTE=Itchy;3148714]
But I do wholeheartedly agree with you that the way to abstention and sobriety is not the same for all. I also do not like folks who think their way is the only way, when it is only better for them personally and not necessarily for one other. Worst are those who actively denigrate the recovery method of another.[QUOTE]
We determine for ourselves how to define 'alchoholic'... yet.. everyone else decides -for us- what "sobriety" means.
I've always had a problem with that idea as well. It is an issue I am dealing with currently while going through the rooms.
I define my my problem. I define my sobriety, and I do not have the right to judge anybody else's definition of those things. That's just my take on it.
In th end, all I can do is offer support for the choices others make in regards to thier definitions, and help them achieve thier goals. Sobriety, like happiness and many things, is a journey and not a destination. We can walk with others for company, but ultimately we still have to do the walking ourselves.
Hrmm...wonder how many more cliche's I can come up with and use
But I do wholeheartedly agree with you that the way to abstention and sobriety is not the same for all. I also do not like folks who think their way is the only way, when it is only better for them personally and not necessarily for one other. Worst are those who actively denigrate the recovery method of another.[QUOTE]
We determine for ourselves how to define 'alchoholic'... yet.. everyone else decides -for us- what "sobriety" means.
I've always had a problem with that idea as well. It is an issue I am dealing with currently while going through the rooms.
I define my my problem. I define my sobriety, and I do not have the right to judge anybody else's definition of those things. That's just my take on it.
In th end, all I can do is offer support for the choices others make in regards to thier definitions, and help them achieve thier goals. Sobriety, like happiness and many things, is a journey and not a destination. We can walk with others for company, but ultimately we still have to do the walking ourselves.
Hrmm...wonder how many more cliche's I can come up with and use
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
[QUOTE=beforeMe;3149678][QUOTE=Itchy;3148714]
But I do wholeheartedly agree with you that the way to abstention and sobriety is not the same for all. I also do not like folks who think their way is the only way, when it is only better for them personally and not necessarily for one other. Worst are those who actively denigrate the recovery method of another.
We determine for ourselves how to define 'alchoholic'... yet.. everyone else decides -for us- what "sobriety" means.
I've always had a problem with that idea as well. It is an issue I am dealing with currently while going through the rooms.
I define my my problem. I define my sobriety, and I do not have the right to judge anybody else's definition of those things. That's just my take on it.
In th end, all I can do is offer support for the choices others make in regards to thier definitions, and help them achieve thier goals. Sobriety, like happiness and many things, is a journey and not a destination. We can walk with others for company, but ultimately we still have to do the walking ourselves.
Hrmm...wonder how many more cliche's I can come up with and use I'm just confused. What other definition is there for "sober" except not drinking?
I agree we all find our own way to sobriety. I agree not everyone who comes to this site is an alcoholic. But I do not understand how anyone can define "sobriety" other than "not drinking" with a straight face/clear conscience. It's fine with me if someone says they want to monitor or control their drinking. That is one way to deal with it if they think they have a drinking problem. However, that is NOT being sober. They are two different things.
But I do wholeheartedly agree with you that the way to abstention and sobriety is not the same for all. I also do not like folks who think their way is the only way, when it is only better for them personally and not necessarily for one other. Worst are those who actively denigrate the recovery method of another.
We determine for ourselves how to define 'alchoholic'... yet.. everyone else decides -for us- what "sobriety" means.
I've always had a problem with that idea as well. It is an issue I am dealing with currently while going through the rooms.
I define my my problem. I define my sobriety, and I do not have the right to judge anybody else's definition of those things. That's just my take on it.
In th end, all I can do is offer support for the choices others make in regards to thier definitions, and help them achieve thier goals. Sobriety, like happiness and many things, is a journey and not a destination. We can walk with others for company, but ultimately we still have to do the walking ourselves.
Hrmm...wonder how many more cliche's I can come up with and use
I agree we all find our own way to sobriety. I agree not everyone who comes to this site is an alcoholic. But I do not understand how anyone can define "sobriety" other than "not drinking" with a straight face/clear conscience. It's fine with me if someone says they want to monitor or control their drinking. That is one way to deal with it if they think they have a drinking problem. However, that is NOT being sober. They are two different things.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Pigtails,
I am not sure how my quote was meant by beforeMe in his using it. But I can tell you what I meant when I wrote it. I did not say sobriety or abstention. I said sobriety and abstention.
The whole thing in context was:
"Well mine wasn't sarcastic, and I did mean congrats on not getting drunk. And I did not post my way of attaining sobriety except that it involved not drinking. I understand your anger at being told about how it gets "us" all in the end, with very few exceptions. "Us" being the binge drinkers, those who overdo it much of the time they are drinking.
But I do wholeheartedly agree with you that the way to abstention and sobriety is not the same for all. I also do not like folks who think their way is the only way, when it is only better for them personally and not necessarily for one other. Worst are those who actively denigrate the recovery method of another.
As has been said if you are NOT willing to or trying to quit drinking, you might be on the wrong website. If you are, then you came to the right place."
What I did mean as being different for each are their recovery methods, as you do too pigtails. In other words for many AA is perfect and for others it is not. For me it took AA, counseling, some rehab, my family and friends, my doc and my VA docs, and in hospital detox, and all my friends here. My recovery methods are only mine, I never say anybody else should use exactly what I did.
Regardless of the recovery plan and methods, the goal is to stop drinking. If someone has no problem stopping drinking then they aren't drinking. Right? If they have quit drinking because they had blackouts and then went back I have no problem with them saying that they are now cured and in control because they started drinking again and were fine for that day.
If that is true that they can now control alcohol then they have no business here on Sober Recovery because they have nothing to recover from. If that is true.
If it is not true, and they are in denial, in the first stage of a terrible relapse, then they are not recovered but relapsed.
We will be here when they need us and decide they can't drink and control it. If they can then we will still be here getting one more day ourselves, and then add to that.
If they are in control no support is needed to control it. That's all.
I am not sure how my quote was meant by beforeMe in his using it. But I can tell you what I meant when I wrote it. I did not say sobriety or abstention. I said sobriety and abstention.
The whole thing in context was:
"Well mine wasn't sarcastic, and I did mean congrats on not getting drunk. And I did not post my way of attaining sobriety except that it involved not drinking. I understand your anger at being told about how it gets "us" all in the end, with very few exceptions. "Us" being the binge drinkers, those who overdo it much of the time they are drinking.
But I do wholeheartedly agree with you that the way to abstention and sobriety is not the same for all. I also do not like folks who think their way is the only way, when it is only better for them personally and not necessarily for one other. Worst are those who actively denigrate the recovery method of another.
As has been said if you are NOT willing to or trying to quit drinking, you might be on the wrong website. If you are, then you came to the right place."
What I did mean as being different for each are their recovery methods, as you do too pigtails. In other words for many AA is perfect and for others it is not. For me it took AA, counseling, some rehab, my family and friends, my doc and my VA docs, and in hospital detox, and all my friends here. My recovery methods are only mine, I never say anybody else should use exactly what I did.
Regardless of the recovery plan and methods, the goal is to stop drinking. If someone has no problem stopping drinking then they aren't drinking. Right? If they have quit drinking because they had blackouts and then went back I have no problem with them saying that they are now cured and in control because they started drinking again and were fine for that day.
If that is true that they can now control alcohol then they have no business here on Sober Recovery because they have nothing to recover from. If that is true.
If it is not true, and they are in denial, in the first stage of a terrible relapse, then they are not recovered but relapsed.
We will be here when they need us and decide they can't drink and control it. If they can then we will still be here getting one more day ourselves, and then add to that.
If they are in control no support is needed to control it. That's all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Itchy,
Thanks! I was actually asking "Before Me" what he meant by different ways of sobriety (somehow a quote of yours got included with what I wrote to him), but, I appreciate your further explanation as to what you meant. And I completely agree with it.
Thanks! I was actually asking "Before Me" what he meant by different ways of sobriety (somehow a quote of yours got included with what I wrote to him), but, I appreciate your further explanation as to what you meant. And I completely agree with it.
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