Today is day one for me
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ft. Myers, Forida
Posts: 25
Still not drinking still full of resolve and determination. The physical aspect of going without alcohol is all but gone aside from a few moments of anxiety. Now the mental battle has kicked in but not anything I can't handle it's been somewhat quiet in my head with my addicted brain not arguing too much with me. This has me concerned because I almost think it will wait until I let my guard down to try and coax me. Either way I will be aware and I'm very proud of myself that I'm nearly at the 2 week mark of sobriety. The longest I've gone without a drink in the past 5 years has been maybe 3 days at most. I never thought I could be where I'm at today but then I never admitted my addiction either. What a game changer it was to finally just cut the BS and admit I have a problem it totally changed everything. I was always afraid to admit it because once I did it was all over I knew I would have to address my drinking. I'm so glad I did and will continue to for the rest of my life.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ft. Myers, Forida
Posts: 25
It is so nice visiting the message boards here. I really find motivation and I appreciate all of the positive feedback so thank you everyone, stay aware, stay focused, stay determined that's my mantra it really seems to be working for me.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
CostadelMar, you are inspiring lots of others with your posts on this thread because they can see what it is really like to do this thing, how it feels to have chosen to hear that Alcoholic Voice for what it is - the dying gasp of a beast that craves that buzz no matter the cost. Recognize that AV and let it dry up and blow away, all on its own.
. I think zencat and soberjennie might translate this as 'Stay mindful, stay in the present'.
Everyone, stay aware, stay focused, stay determined.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ft. Myers, Forida
Posts: 25
So pushing past two weeks of sobriety and I really am enjoying this side of life. It's nice to know I can be in control and that nothing will cause me to lose control. I attended an annual local event downtown with friends, there was live bands, plenty of food and a ton of beer. I stuck to the diet coke and found it interesting that I couldn't remember the last time I attended this event (29 years running now) that I didn't have a beer in my hands. One of my friends asked me to hold her beer as she looked for food tickets in her purse I jokingly acted like I was going to down it...I know probably a dangerous game but I truly had no intention of drinking it, if anything it made me proud of how far I believe I've come in just a short amount of time. Don't get me wrong twice I had an aw f*&k it moment but I stayed aware and convicted, unwavering. I'm sure those moments will pass with time but I will not allow myself to be pulled back in. It's interesting to me that the hardest I'm dealing with is the separation from my girlfriend, I was depressed yesterday because she was at the event as well, (didn't get to see her too many people) but it's ironic how I'm focused on this life changing decision to quit drinking, something I never thought possible till I admitted it only to find my break up harder to deal with. I gotta think that the alcohol must have numbed me in some ways because I've dated some great people in the past and when it was over I was fine maybe 24 hours of being sad but always moved on very quickly. This thing with my ex seems to never end and maybe it's just another challenge to test my resolve, which is unwavering. I do have to think though if this is how intense a break up is without alcohol, I'm really looking forward to how much better love will be when I find it again. You see I believe the glass is always half full, pardon the pun
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ft. Myers, Forida
Posts: 25
Things are going well, I'm able to be in social situations around alcohol and not have any issues. Granted I do think about it but my resolve is concrete I know the path it would lead me too. I'm actually taking a lot of pride that I'm not dependent on alcohol anymore. I spent so much time thinking about when and where I would be doing my drinking if I was out. I knew when I was home I could drink as much as I wanted pass out on the couch drag myself into work rinse repeat. I hated feeling that way. Don't get me wrong I loved drinking but the blackouts and issues that stem from it well it was taking over my whole life. I do have such a good feeling and I realized between going out and the amount I drank at home I'm saving between $600-$750 a month! Vacations are a whole other story. So I'm a little behind on bills having just moved into a new house but once I get caught up I'm saving the money that I used to spend on alcohol for a trip or a cruise or something. It will be a nice reward and reminder of how much better life can be when I'm not chained to a self destructive addiction.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ft. Myers, Forida
Posts: 25
Everyday gets easier and with everyday I get more clarity. This Sunday marks 3 weeks I never thought I could get passed 3 days going without a drink. It's amazing how being honest with yourself and admitting you have a problem with alcohol can free you from it's grasp. It comes down to staying aware focused and committed. Life just seems to be getting better and better. I'm so glad I'm starting to see what I've been missing, abstaining isn't easy, it's not pretty but in my heart I know this is the right path.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Brea, CA
Posts: 13
Welcome!!! I'm currently on my 5th day of being sober and what a difference! It is a scary experience at first but it's already been so worth it for me. This site has been so helpful, it's one of the first places I come to when I think I need a drink. So much support and so many people who are just like us. What I've done is start a personal blog to write on daily to keep track of how I'm feeling and to note the changes I feel since drinking. It helps to write about it (for me anyway) to notice progress even in the little things in myself. That way, if I really feel like drinking I can go back to my first day of sobriety and read how horrible I felt in detail. That memory alone works for me to curb and craving.
You've made a great decision for yourself and your family. Good luck to you!!
You've made a great decision for yourself and your family. Good luck to you!!
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ft. Myers, Forida
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by 29prayers 
Welcome!!! I'm currently on my 5th day of being sober and what a difference! It is a scary experience at first but it's already been so worth it for me. This site has been so helpful, it's one of the first places I come to when I think I need a drink. So much support and so many people who are just like us. What I've done is start a personal blog to write on daily to keep track of how I'm feeling and to note the changes I feel since drinking. It helps to write about it (for me anyway) to notice progress even in the little things in myself. That way, if I really feel like drinking I can go back to my first day of sobriety and read how horrible I felt in detail. That memory alone works for me to curb and craving.
You've made a great decision for yourself and your family. Good luck to you!!
You've made a great decision for yourself and your family. Good luck to you!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 110
Originally Posted by Costadelmar
After years of heavy drinking almost daily I've decided enough is enough. I'm watching my relationship with my GF fail (if it hasn't already), my career is being sidetracked and most importantly I'm not being the type of father I want to be to my daughter. I'm at a crossroads and I can see if I don't do something to change my behavior I'll lose everything. I'm very blessed to a wonderful family and a good lifestyle but the writing is on the wall if I don't quit for good. I pick up my prescription for Antabuse tomorrow I know I can get through the night tonight without a drink. My last drink was around 3pm yesterday I was extremely hungover and tired from the night before but I'll take a sleeping pill if I have to for tonight. Also, I'll be starting therapy with an addiction therapist. Just started a daily journal as well. I have read a lot of the posts on the forum and there seems to be a lot of good advice here, like having an active lifestyle etc to keep your mind busy or in some cases meditate to stay relaxed.
My hands were shaking this morning and I have felt extreme anxiety throughout most of the day. Not sure what else to expect but I noticed sweat on my forehead when I was eating lunch. After I was done nothing so not sure if there's a correlation there or not. I'm nervous and a little scared but I feel so determined, the antabuse is contingent to keeping me honest.
If there is anything else that people have found helpful in their road to recovery please let me know. I did try AA years ago several times and it is so not for me.
Almost finished with the first day of the rest of my life, I know it's going to get more difficult just gotta stay focused. It seems at some point days or weeks from now things will get easier just have to keep telling myself that.
My hands were shaking this morning and I have felt extreme anxiety throughout most of the day. Not sure what else to expect but I noticed sweat on my forehead when I was eating lunch. After I was done nothing so not sure if there's a correlation there or not. I'm nervous and a little scared but I feel so determined, the antabuse is contingent to keeping me honest.
If there is anything else that people have found helpful in their road to recovery please let me know. I did try AA years ago several times and it is so not for me.
Almost finished with the first day of the rest of my life, I know it's going to get more difficult just gotta stay focused. It seems at some point days or weeks from now things will get easier just have to keep telling myself that.
Welcome Costadelmar, you've made a wonderful decision!!
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