Life after a DUI
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 112
R3cov3ry - One last thing that helped me was reading this chapter in the big book. I am not sure if you are going to take the path of AA or what you will choose to do to in order to keep yourself from drinking, if you should need outside help (most of us do!). Although you do not have an employer at the moment this reading really spoke to me. My DUI actually got my career in high gear, and the president of my company can definitely attest to that. I hope it finds you well and can help you as it did me!
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt10.pdf
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt10.pdf
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Hi, I've not had a DUI but my boyfriend is currently facing this charge. I just want to remind you to please please see a lawyer and not just go by what you read/hear. He didn't blow either and the sign at the sub-station said that by refusing to blow he would lose his license for a year... the paperwork that some lawyers sent his house also talked about "losing" or "suspending" his license for a year. However his attorney told him that what it means is that his normal license is taken and he gets an Interlock license which means he can only drive his car or another car that has an Interlock device in it, for that year.
And of course it depends on conviction and punishment, terms of any plea, etc. Every case is different and only a lawyer can tell you what can/will happen in your case. We were told a lot of incorrect information about DUI charges... I understand that the intention is to scare people silly but once you're actually in the situation, you find out things are different than what you hear... some in a good way, some in a bad way. So don't worry yourself over details and "maybes" until you get the straight scoop from a lawyer.
It's great that you are re-evaluating your life and not drinking. That is the best thing to come out of this. Take your horrible DUI experience and turn it into a positive life-changing event that woke you up and makes you grateful for a sober, fulfilling life. Good luck and stay strong.
And of course it depends on conviction and punishment, terms of any plea, etc. Every case is different and only a lawyer can tell you what can/will happen in your case. We were told a lot of incorrect information about DUI charges... I understand that the intention is to scare people silly but once you're actually in the situation, you find out things are different than what you hear... some in a good way, some in a bad way. So don't worry yourself over details and "maybes" until you get the straight scoop from a lawyer.
It's great that you are re-evaluating your life and not drinking. That is the best thing to come out of this. Take your horrible DUI experience and turn it into a positive life-changing event that woke you up and makes you grateful for a sober, fulfilling life. Good luck and stay strong.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 18
Thanks to both of you for your words of wisdom and advice! I read that chapter and I definitely feel better about my prospects for the future. I'm sure there is someone out there who will give me a shot. Aside from this blemish on my record, I'm a very good candidate for potential employers. I'm glad your employer gave you a second chance and that you turned out to be an even better employee in the end! Good for you.
I actually switched lawyers yesterday because I found out my old lawyer gave me some bad information. My new lawyer seems to know the laws much better and how to make them work to the best of my advantage. I'm probably not going to get out of the 18 month (not 2 year like the other guy told me) license suspension, but this lawyer says there is a chance. Hopefully I can get some kind of deal.
No matter what happens, I'm going to keep a positive attitude and be grateful that I was afforded the opportunity to reevaluate my life. I'm excited about a future with no alcohol in it. As I look back on my life, alcohol has been the source of probably 90% of my problems. Not having this thorn in my side in the future can really only be a good thing. Thanks again to everyone who has shared their experiences with me. You have given me the strength I desperately needed in this time to keep moving forward.
I actually switched lawyers yesterday because I found out my old lawyer gave me some bad information. My new lawyer seems to know the laws much better and how to make them work to the best of my advantage. I'm probably not going to get out of the 18 month (not 2 year like the other guy told me) license suspension, but this lawyer says there is a chance. Hopefully I can get some kind of deal.
No matter what happens, I'm going to keep a positive attitude and be grateful that I was afforded the opportunity to reevaluate my life. I'm excited about a future with no alcohol in it. As I look back on my life, alcohol has been the source of probably 90% of my problems. Not having this thorn in my side in the future can really only be a good thing. Thanks again to everyone who has shared their experiences with me. You have given me the strength I desperately needed in this time to keep moving forward.
I love this place.
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 329
I was charged with 1st Degree Vehicular Homicide, Driving on Wrong Side of Road, Reckless Driving, DUI....I only lost my license for 120 days ( I do have a restricted license meanwhile). I didn't have $$ for lawyer, they wanted 25g's to start case. I went with Public Defender and lotsa prayer! I plead guilty, because I was.
It will all work out. Stop before you get hurt or hurt someone else. I have to live with what I did for the rest of my life, it's not easy.
Here is my tale:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...6-post494.html
It will all work out. Stop before you get hurt or hurt someone else. I have to live with what I did for the rest of my life, it's not easy.
Here is my tale:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...6-post494.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 18
Wow what an incredible story. I'm so sorry for your loss!!!! I can't believe how strong you are to have moved past that. That would be the hardest thing in the world for me to deal with. You are living, breathing proof that it can be done though, and all while remaining sober! Thank you so much for sharing this with me and good luck in the future. I know you will continue to stay strong and sober as you deal with this.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Originally Posted by R3COV3RY 
Thanks to both of you for your words of wisdom and advice! I read that chapter and I definitely feel better about my prospects for the future. I'm sure there is someone out there who will give me a shot. Aside from this blemish on my record, I'm a very good candidate for potential employers. I'm glad your employer gave you a second chance and that you turned out to be an even better employee in the end! Good for you.
I actually switched lawyers yesterday because I found out my old lawyer gave me some bad information. My new lawyer seems to know the laws much better and how to make them work to the best of my advantage. I'm probably not going to get out of the 18 month (not 2 year like the other guy told me) license suspension, but this lawyer says there is a chance. Hopefully I can get some kind of deal.
No matter what happens, I'm going to keep a positive attitude and be grateful that I was afforded the opportunity to reevaluate my life. I'm excited about a future with no alcohol in it. As I look back on my life, alcohol has been the source of probably 90% of my problems. Not having this thorn in my side in the future can really only be a good thing. Thanks again to everyone who has shared their experiences with me. You have given me the strength I desperately needed in this time to keep moving forward.
I actually switched lawyers yesterday because I found out my old lawyer gave me some bad information. My new lawyer seems to know the laws much better and how to make them work to the best of my advantage. I'm probably not going to get out of the 18 month (not 2 year like the other guy told me) license suspension, but this lawyer says there is a chance. Hopefully I can get some kind of deal.
No matter what happens, I'm going to keep a positive attitude and be grateful that I was afforded the opportunity to reevaluate my life. I'm excited about a future with no alcohol in it. As I look back on my life, alcohol has been the source of probably 90% of my problems. Not having this thorn in my side in the future can really only be a good thing. Thanks again to everyone who has shared their experiences with me. You have given me the strength I desperately needed in this time to keep moving forward.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 18
Update!
Just wanted to post an update for anyone who might benefit from reading this.
For starters, I have honored my promise to God, myself, my wife, and my now 5 month old baby boy that I would never drink again. I haven't had a drop of alcohol since October 20, 2011 and I've never felt better about my decision to stop drinking completely. Quitting has been really, really hard - especially since all of my friends still drink and I'm surrounded by alcohol on many occasions, but I always return to that night that almost ruined my life and I remember why it is that I quit. For anyone out there that might be struggling, just remember why you are quitting and focus on that reason. You can do it!!
For the rest of you who might be in similar circumstances with a DUI: The judge definitely got his pound of flesh out of me, but I'm still here and I have a lot to live for. My driver's license is still suspended and will be until next May (18 month suspension), but I made the decision to never ever drive because if I do and I get caught, I will REALLY be up $h!t creek without a paddle, and I've done enough life-wrecking already. The thing I've found in this journey is that if you keep pushing forward every day, the world has a way of helping you along. I was really, really worried about getting a job, but I just kept at it and I ended up getting a pretty good job that is right on the bus route that goes by my house.
Right after I got my DUI I thought the world was going to end and that I would be out of work and forced to sell my house and live in a homeless shelter with my wife and kid, but it turns out it was all a lot of self-imposed doubt and worry. The point is, if you keep a positive attitude and keep trying, good things will happen. You will meet people along the way who will want to help you if you want to help yourself. You will discover things you wouldn't have otherwise discovered. For example, I have found that I get a lot more work done in the day if I'm riding the bus because instead of driving, I can read, write, or catch up on sleep if needs be. Opportunities are all around for those who wish to pick themselves up from their mistakes and seize them.
I am by no means at the end of this journey. I continue to deal with the consequences of my actions every day. It is still a challenge and a struggle to not give in to the urge to drink, but I'm giving it all I've got and so far it has paid off. If you are in similar circumstances, just remember - it will get better if you want it to and if you are willing to work for it. Keep your chin up and remember what you have to live for and why you are staying sober!
For starters, I have honored my promise to God, myself, my wife, and my now 5 month old baby boy that I would never drink again. I haven't had a drop of alcohol since October 20, 2011 and I've never felt better about my decision to stop drinking completely. Quitting has been really, really hard - especially since all of my friends still drink and I'm surrounded by alcohol on many occasions, but I always return to that night that almost ruined my life and I remember why it is that I quit. For anyone out there that might be struggling, just remember why you are quitting and focus on that reason. You can do it!!
For the rest of you who might be in similar circumstances with a DUI: The judge definitely got his pound of flesh out of me, but I'm still here and I have a lot to live for. My driver's license is still suspended and will be until next May (18 month suspension), but I made the decision to never ever drive because if I do and I get caught, I will REALLY be up $h!t creek without a paddle, and I've done enough life-wrecking already. The thing I've found in this journey is that if you keep pushing forward every day, the world has a way of helping you along. I was really, really worried about getting a job, but I just kept at it and I ended up getting a pretty good job that is right on the bus route that goes by my house.
Right after I got my DUI I thought the world was going to end and that I would be out of work and forced to sell my house and live in a homeless shelter with my wife and kid, but it turns out it was all a lot of self-imposed doubt and worry. The point is, if you keep a positive attitude and keep trying, good things will happen. You will meet people along the way who will want to help you if you want to help yourself. You will discover things you wouldn't have otherwise discovered. For example, I have found that I get a lot more work done in the day if I'm riding the bus because instead of driving, I can read, write, or catch up on sleep if needs be. Opportunities are all around for those who wish to pick themselves up from their mistakes and seize them.
I am by no means at the end of this journey. I continue to deal with the consequences of my actions every day. It is still a challenge and a struggle to not give in to the urge to drink, but I'm giving it all I've got and so far it has paid off. If you are in similar circumstances, just remember - it will get better if you want it to and if you are willing to work for it. Keep your chin up and remember what you have to live for and why you are staying sober!
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,871
Thank you so much for coming back with an update. It is so good to hear that you learned something from your mistake. So many people don't. Yeah, the consequences can actually last for years, but, like you said, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right thing, and it will all work out in the end. I know when I got my DUI I thought it was the end of the world. It is so scary and you have no clue what is going to happen to you next. Fortunately, although you do go through a lot of crap, it is crap you deserve and some people learn from it, but others don't. I'm so glad to know that you are doing well.
Please don't be a stranger. You could be a great help to the newcomer who is going through what you did. We need people to stick around and give some experience, strength and hope to the new folks who find us.
Congrats again! :ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 18
Thanks everyone for the kind words of encouragement and the congratulations for my new baby 
I really do believe that the DUI was divine intervention simply because it was too perfect not to be. If I had received anything less I wouldn't have changed. If I had received something more (perhaps killed someone) I don't think I could have handled it. I'm not kidding when I was seriously considering ending it all because I felt so bad at the time and I really didn't see a way out. I have never been in trouble with the law before and I was so incredibly freaked out that I really didn't know what to do. I also felt like a worthless human being because I realized that I had no regard for my actions by getting behind the wheel while drunk and that really hit me hard admitting that to myself. Reading posts on this forum and talking with people on the chat and everything really, really helped me to see that all was not lost and that I could use this as a positive learning experience. There truly are some amazing members here who have gone through hell and back and have finally kicked the addiction. Thanks again to all of those who have helped me along the way!
I really do believe that the DUI was divine intervention simply because it was too perfect not to be. If I had received anything less I wouldn't have changed. If I had received something more (perhaps killed someone) I don't think I could have handled it. I'm not kidding when I was seriously considering ending it all because I felt so bad at the time and I really didn't see a way out. I have never been in trouble with the law before and I was so incredibly freaked out that I really didn't know what to do. I also felt like a worthless human being because I realized that I had no regard for my actions by getting behind the wheel while drunk and that really hit me hard admitting that to myself. Reading posts on this forum and talking with people on the chat and everything really, really helped me to see that all was not lost and that I could use this as a positive learning experience. There truly are some amazing members here who have gone through hell and back and have finally kicked the addiction. Thanks again to all of those who have helped me along the way!
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