So many attemps to sobriety and I'm tired.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: finding a home
Posts: 109
So many attemps to sobriety and I'm tired.
Yes It's Saturday Morning and I have no hangover, but an absolute desire to drink now, yes now.....I'm on my third day and having a hard time. My husband just left and said he would be back in a couple of hours...so the trigger went on....I hate feeling like this. A craving I just can't control. I'm not going to drink.......I'm not.....I'm not.
There's that voice in my head that tells me, just a small bottle of vodka.....you can be normal....just go ahead he won't know!!!!!! He won't notice.....
As if I have some kind of desire to mind escape......I so....so want to be free....free of this very dark place I've fallen into.....I wish there was some kind of switch I could just turn off.....off.....offf.......Just for now I will not drink.....thank you for listening......
There's that voice in my head that tells me, just a small bottle of vodka.....you can be normal....just go ahead he won't know!!!!!! He won't notice.....
As if I have some kind of desire to mind escape......I so....so want to be free....free of this very dark place I've fallen into.....I wish there was some kind of switch I could just turn off.....off.....offf.......Just for now I will not drink.....thank you for listening......
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: -
Posts: 37
I'm in the same mood today. I don't really have any advice but just want you to know you're not alone. This is the hardest thing you'll ever do, a recovered friend of mine once said that to me, and I think it's true, but it will also be the most rewarding if we can just hold on and let it get easier.... Good luck today, just get through today. 
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,465
Shygirl,
Why not get outside and go for a walk, get some exercise? It can help to shift your mood. And remember that stopping drinking is not the end point, it's just the beginning. This is when you need to begin to work on the issues in your life that brought you to this point.
Why not get outside and go for a walk, get some exercise? It can help to shift your mood. And remember that stopping drinking is not the end point, it's just the beginning. This is when you need to begin to work on the issues in your life that brought you to this point.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
break on through to the other side!
Hugs, and all that good stuff. You can do this. Make a sobriety plan and stick to it, NO MATTER WHAT. That's the thing working for me right now (suggested by the good folks here)
Let the first thing on that plan be that you won't drink NO MATTER WHAT. There is not a single thing that can happen in life that getting drunk or wasted will make better.
I have to add to my plan what and when I am going to eat, take my walk, go to bed, etc. If I have a plan, I have less time to talk myself into using/drinking because I am busy sticking to my schedule.
For me, reading my 12 literature, working my steps, and staying in touch here are also part of my plan. That uses up time and energy. I am an artist and when I get the internal ya ya's working on my art keeps me busy and focused on something else.
I used to schedule using/drinking into my day, now I have to schedule sobriety into my day
Hugs, and all that good stuff. You can do this. Make a sobriety plan and stick to it, NO MATTER WHAT. That's the thing working for me right now (suggested by the good folks here)
Let the first thing on that plan be that you won't drink NO MATTER WHAT. There is not a single thing that can happen in life that getting drunk or wasted will make better.
I have to add to my plan what and when I am going to eat, take my walk, go to bed, etc. If I have a plan, I have less time to talk myself into using/drinking because I am busy sticking to my schedule.
For me, reading my 12 literature, working my steps, and staying in touch here are also part of my plan. That uses up time and energy. I am an artist and when I get the internal ya ya's working on my art keeps me busy and focused on something else.
I used to schedule using/drinking into my day, now I have to schedule sobriety into my day
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 92
I've been sober 12 days now. This is my second weekend and I have to make myself make better choices of things to do. Saturdays I usually didn't get out of bed til 9 or 9:30, sometimes 10. Then waited until after 12 noon to start drinking again. Today I will go to a ladies AA meeting at noon. I will finish something on my list of things todo, cook something healthy to eat (bought a roast yesterday for that), then read something about alcoholism and/or posts here. So what are your plans?
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
I've been to 2 meetings, missed the 7 am, hit the 9 then sober breakfast with 5 others, then a noon mtg and now laundry. I changed my Saturdays on day 6 and have continued fir the last 5+ months.
I went to a meeting day 5-something had to change!
I had to change my days. There was no more slow suicide by drinking left.
I hope your day is going smoothly now.
I went to a meeting day 5-something had to change!
I had to change my days. There was no more slow suicide by drinking left.
I hope your day is going smoothly now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: finding a home
Posts: 109
Thank you guys for all the advice......I'm sober....I ate and I feel much better you guys are awsome.......My plans are to remain here all day today....on and off of course....I'll keep reading.....some Bible scripture as well......I will start focusing on a plan to see how it will work for me this time.......I'm praying....My daughters need me. Thank you....I want to be part of this family so bad and talk about my drinking days as a long time ago memory....I know in my heart that with Gods help first and yours I will succeed one day.........Thanks I'll keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
One thing that helped or aided in my
recovery was to not have any kind of
alcohol hanging around my home. While
I was in rehab, my husband took all
the alcohol out of the house so when
I returned after my 28 day rehab stay,
I wouldnt have any temptations to deal
with.
I was really grateful for that because
in early recovery we go thru many emotions
or feelings that it would have been easy
to reach for that poison to numb.
Then it was I who had to learn to be
responsible for my own recovery. No
one was to keep me sober or do the
foot work except me with help and guidance
from Above.
I wanted to be sober and stay sober then
more than anything and I still do today
some 21yrs later in recovery.
recovery was to not have any kind of
alcohol hanging around my home. While
I was in rehab, my husband took all
the alcohol out of the house so when
I returned after my 28 day rehab stay,
I wouldnt have any temptations to deal
with.
I was really grateful for that because
in early recovery we go thru many emotions
or feelings that it would have been easy
to reach for that poison to numb.
Then it was I who had to learn to be
responsible for my own recovery. No
one was to keep me sober or do the
foot work except me with help and guidance
from Above.
I wanted to be sober and stay sober then
more than anything and I still do today
some 21yrs later in recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 120
You can't do this on your own (as surmised from your post). You may make it to 4 days, 5. But eventually if you don't change you're approach, nothing else will change.
Einstein said that Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
If you are sincere about becoming sober, you must be sincere about your desire. There are many great people on here that have fought the battle you are currently in. Don't discard their advice because you are ashamed or embarrassed. Don't lose everything you have because of this disease. Seek the treatment you need and the help you deserve. Life's to short for regrets and made even shorter by alcohol.
It's hard work and it takes YOUR commitment. No one else will take responsibility for YOUR problem. They didn't cause it, They cannot control it and they certainly cannot cure you.... You OWN this.
Now, you can sink to depression and self pity, hoping people feel sorry for you, or you can ride above this situation and address it for yourself first and your family. At the end of the day, when you log off the computer, it's your life. Not mine.
I sincerely hope the best for you. I have been where you are and now I am sober going on 5 months.
Life is good! Try it!
Einstein said that Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
If you are sincere about becoming sober, you must be sincere about your desire. There are many great people on here that have fought the battle you are currently in. Don't discard their advice because you are ashamed or embarrassed. Don't lose everything you have because of this disease. Seek the treatment you need and the help you deserve. Life's to short for regrets and made even shorter by alcohol.
It's hard work and it takes YOUR commitment. No one else will take responsibility for YOUR problem. They didn't cause it, They cannot control it and they certainly cannot cure you.... You OWN this.
Now, you can sink to depression and self pity, hoping people feel sorry for you, or you can ride above this situation and address it for yourself first and your family. At the end of the day, when you log off the computer, it's your life. Not mine.
I sincerely hope the best for you. I have been where you are and now I am sober going on 5 months.
Life is good! Try it!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Welcome back Shygirl
The thing that really helped me was support - I needed to know I wasn't alone.
Push through with that plan - think of some real concrete changes you can make...
noone should have to endure this sad way of life we all put ourselves through.
You can do this - just keep reaching out and looking at ideas
D
The thing that really helped me was support - I needed to know I wasn't alone.
Push through with that plan - think of some real concrete changes you can make...
noone should have to endure this sad way of life we all put ourselves through.
You can do this - just keep reaching out and looking at ideas
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: finding a home
Posts: 109
Thank you Dee74 and Jeff63............Jeff you make so much sence I'm for ever looking for self pitty and thank you for bringing out the light....yes this life is mine and I do have to own it.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,756
Don't give up! Take it one minute at a time if you have to but just don't drink today. I felt hopeless for a long time but am feeling so much better now and living sober is its own reward. I was a chronic relapser for nearly two years but with support from SR and my counselor I kept trying and eventually made it. I sent you a PM.
:ghug3
Take it one minute at a time if you have to but just don't drink today. I felt hopeless for a long time but am feeling so much better now and living sober is its own reward. I was a chronic relapser for nearly two years but with support from SR and my counselor I kept trying and eventually made it. I sent you a PM.:ghug3
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,522
Hi Shygirl - welcome back, it's great to see you again.
Good stuff already said - I'm glad you're reaching out. We all understand and care about you - and we've walked where you're walking. You can do this and have a whole new life, filled with hope and happiness. I did it, after a life time of drinking. I promise you, it'll get easier as you go along.
Good stuff already said - I'm glad you're reaching out. We all understand and care about you - and we've walked where you're walking. You can do this and have a whole new life, filled with hope and happiness. I did it, after a life time of drinking. I promise you, it'll get easier as you go along.
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