Hello.
 

Hello, my name is Tom. I have been a drug addict for quite some time (for about 3.5 years). I am 22 years old but I look like I'm 12. I started snorting heroin when I found it as a better alternative to pills. I haven't graduated to the needle and I hope I never will, I've been using H for about a couple years.

This is the very first time I've ever truly asked for help. Heroin is ruling my life and I cannot stop it, I love it too much. I always have to be in possession of it or I get incredibly anxious and would do anything to get more. I am very nervous asking for help like this, I feel very vulnerable, and I am not one to open up about these sort of things. All I know is that if I don't do something about my addiction soon my life is going to be over. I have been forced into several rehabs, and none of them have worked for me because I resisted 100%. I know that may be selfish but I would like someone to please, please help me help myself without getting locked up in a rehab, just to get out and use again right when I get released.

I'm losing everything. My relationships, one with the love of my life, all my money due to legal problems, if I don't stop now, or at least go on a hiatus then I'm done for. I'm thinking about going to an NA meeting tomorrow to talk about my problems. NA never helped before but I'm getting desperate.

I also have an incredible problem with depression, which I'm guessing may contribute to the reasons why I use so much. I was very depressed prior to me ever taking so much as a tylenol.

If I have broken any rules by being too specific than I apologize in advance. This isn't easy for me.

Somebody, please help me. I need advice. Thank you SO much for your time and consideration. Perhaps even your compassion.
-Tom

Welcome Tom! Don't worry about opening up to us - we're all addicts and alcoholics and we know what it's like. I was terrified to make my first post here and face a life without alcohol, but now I credit my 17+ months of sobriety to the support I get here every day.

Is there any way you can talk to a doctor about detox? Take some time reading and posting, and check out the section on substance abuse, too.

We're glad you're here.....:grouphug:

Here's the link to the substance abuse section:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Hi Tom

I'm not familiar with heroin but I think any support is gonna be helpful to you....if you feel NA has not been helpful to you, have you thought of trying other groups like SMART etc?

You'll find a lot of support here - you might like to check out our Substance Abuse forum as well...

Artsoul beat me to the link, lol.


D

Welcome to SR Tom! I had to chuckle at your post a little bit because I'm 26 but I look like I'm 16, so I know how you feel.

I was never addicted to Heroin, but I was a long time alcoholic, drinking every night, so I know how draining and terrible addiction can be. When I was in the depths of my depression, the only way I saw out was through death, so I essentially gave up caring about whether I lived or died. Fortunately, I somehow, out of nowhere, finally got fed up one night and decided I was going to rehab. I had never been before, so it was my first time, but I had tried quitting a million times before.

It's very true that until you are committed to recovery you can go to the best rehab in the world and it won't help you, but once you are able to get committed to the process of getting sober then you will be successful. For me, this meant taking one step at a time, one day at a time. So first I focused on going to rehab. The good thing was that commitment to rehab kept me clean long enough to make a clear headed decision to stay sober. After I got out I started going to 12 step support groups and working the 12 steps.

It sounds like you have really reached a place where you are starting to approach recovery with an open mind, so I'm sure that your view of NA will be quite different this time around. The most important thing is to keep an open mind and remember that it has worked for so many people that more than likely it can work for you too, if you work it.

Life may seem kind of depressing right now, but great things are around the corner for you if you are able to stay committed to the idea of getting sober for good.

Best wishes in your journey!

Thank you so much for your responses, guys. It means a lot to me. If there is any more I would also appreciate it. :)

Thank you for making me feel welcome.

Welcome Tom to SR!

I am a recovering opiate user. I have 8 months clean as of this past Tuesday, 18 Oct. I know nothing about H addiction. But I highly suggest you find a good doctor to speak with about helping you with withdrawls and detoxing. H isn't something you need to CT off of.

I'm sure there is somebody in NA meetings that could offer you help in finding a good doctor to go to. Or call an 800 number HOTLINE for addiction. Just look in your phone book for a number.

You've said you have legal problems already. I've read many stories around the boards here about how horrible it is to detox in jail. That's not a place you want to land in. Reach out to all sources available to get the help you are needing right now.

TOD

I'm glad ur here Tom. We all understand you. I'm glad u realize that there's a problem. There is alot of help out there, you just have to seek and find it. I hope you get better :-). None of us chose this, and it's hard, but it can be overcome! Best of luck to you!

Welcome to SR. I'm an alcoholic so can't really comment on heroin, but I have many friends who have found great value in NA meetings.

Hi Tom,

I remember when I first posted here it scared me cuz I never said I had a problem out loud....so by posting it I made it real, and that meant that I now had to do something about it. Usually the things that wer'e most afraid of doing are the things that if we muster the courage to do them will change our lives in a big way.

You had the courage to post about your problem with heroin, so now it's out in the open and you can do something about it. That's a huge first step! Next step....an NA meeting?? good luck Tom!!!!

For months, maybe years, I knew I had a problem with alcohol, but I kept avoiding that realization. It took some people that I love and trust telling me I had a problem before I listened to them and faced my reality.

Tom, you have a problem. You need to make a plan for your future use of heroin, and you need to make this plan now. What is your plan going to be?

Tom,

I am sorry you are in so much pain. I remember it very well. Please, please keep posting and reading, and get to a NA meeting - if you don't like that one try another one. There are good meetings out there.

I am now 59. I went to rehab at 35, stayed sober for 8 years, drank, stayed sober for 9 years, then started drinking again 4 years ago. I have 74 days sober. I wish I would have done something to help myself when I was your age - I would have avoided a lot of hassles, heartbreak and depression. Do whatever you have to do NOW....it will not get easier, and it only gets worse and worse and worse. We are all here to help you, and we understand. Take care. Positive energy is being sent your way right now!

Hey Tom welcome! My dearest freind in the world is sober one yr as of oct. 3 from heroine and she loves AA as well as NA . Just a suggestion. There is soooo much good info at this site ! Do some reading,sharing and praing and keep us up on your thoughts!!!