horsekisses

Why I am a I such a big boob. It's Friday again, 11 days sober, and I'm sitting here crying. Not sure why. I wanted someone to talk to, tried to call someone and started crying. I know if I drank I'd feel good for the evening but then I'd feel worse and be more discussed with myself.

ARTEMIS

Hey- if you want to sign into chat I will talk with you.

horsekisses

I don't think I can chat on my phone, thanks. Trying to work up the nerve to call someone. May drive back to town and try to go to a meeting. There is no ladies meeting tonight. And no sure I can handle the smoke. Plus its hard to try to explain going to meetings when my husband doesn't seem to want to see that I have a problem. Going to feed horsrs, eat supper, then see how I feel.

06yz125

I am feeling the same now..you need to call someone or get to a meeting.

Handle the smoke...better than the drinking.

Just Go.

ARTEMIS

Do you have a computer?

Dominica2

Stay strong! And to stay occupied try watching Rain in my Heart series on youtube. It definitely gave me a deeper perspective on the drinking. Hope you stay sober. Stay strong! **HUGS**


Dom

LawMama

There will be lots of people wanting to talk to you at the meeting. And even if you stink like smoke afterward, you might find you feel better. Hang in there. Early sobriety for me was a tear-fest....I hadn't felt real emotions in so long that it was a shock to the system.

Gerbosko

Alcohol has a poisonous way of tricking our mind to tell us that it "feels good" to drink when in fact it's destroying our body while numbing our mind to the destruction going on.

Stay sober, you've gone almost two weeks without alcohol which is awesome! Calm down and take your mind off it (go for a walk, drink water, read a book..etc)

Taking5

He's talking about the chat room here on sober recovery.

SSIL75

yes - up on the right of your screen!

eJoshua

Emotions are really tough when you first start. I was a mess my first 30 days sober. Life is a lot more drama free now that I have a few months down. It will get better, but I think getting a list of people to call if you need to talk (rather than just one person) would be a good idea.

Hang in there!

Anna

I hope that you get through the evening.

ZenJen

Horsekisses, I'll be thinking about you when I walk up to my first Friends in/of Recovery meeting tonight at the hospital where I go to outpatient. It's not the safest walk, and I wish I had a buddy, but I need this meeting! So, so, so much better than the loneliness an early-recovery Friday night can bring. So, I really hope you end up going to the meeting. I know explaining things like the meetings can be hard, but as long as you're very matter-of-fact about it, then you can take pride in knowing you're being not only honest with your SO, but also yourself

And oh yeah, also in regards to things with your husband - some advice I took away from inpatient: things don't HAVE to go smoothly all the time. SOMETIMES, things with people close to us are uncomfortable - accepting this actually feels a lot better than struggling with trying to MAKE things smooth and comfortable.

Love,
ZenJen

Dee74

Early recovery can be a time of some pretty wild emotional swings HK...it certainly was for me.

Remember you have support here

D

horsekisses

I drove to town and tried to go to the meeting. The smoke was so bad I had to leave. I already have bad cough from this cold that I've had for two weeks. Anyway I called a lady and talked to her a little. I'm planning on going to the noon meeting tomorrow. I've got to talk to my husband and stop trying to sneak to meetings when he isn't here. I guess I just wanted to try and make sure I was going to stay sober first. Plus he and I work at the same company and I sure don't want them to find out. Not now anyway, they are so judgemental and such gossips. Thanks for all the support.

Hevyn

Good job, horsekisses. As the others said, emotions run high in early recovery. It took me alot longer than 11 days to stop tearing up. You'll feel much better as you go along, and this phase will be just a memory.

06yz125

Sorry about the smoke.. Some of us have multiple addictions.

Have to comment though...I am surprised they allow smoking inside.
Our meetings we can't smoke inside. Its at a church so..<smile>

Anyway..so glad you went. But if the smoking is that hard on you
maybe there is another support type group close to you??
You mentioned the outpatient program somewhere here...that
may be a good option.

Til then...keep using us.

Don't drink..

Dee74

I believe there are non smoking meetings around - hope there's some in your town HK

D

ZenJen

I'm really glad you didn't get discouraged by the meeting not working out and took the initiative to call someone! Good for you!!!

I really understand the workplace gossip thing. It sucks. I hope you and the husband are able to work things out without too much struggle or misfortune.

copperfield

horsekisses way to go!!!!!!! hang in there, tomorrow is so close and you'll be so happy to welcome it clear headed!