Childhood memories/triggers returning
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 462
Childhood memories/triggers returning
I was a daily drinker for the past 13/14 years. I've been sober since June and recently, I've noticed that items I've seen laying around (not even at home) have been provoking some sort of childhood memory/trigger.
Am I going/gone completely mad? Or is this normal?
Am I going/gone completely mad? Or is this normal?
Your not mad. You probably drank to repress. I did. I thought it was a strength of mine. Its a curse. It has to come out sometimes. I just except it and realize i cant change it and move on. Doesn't make it any less painful. Double hugs for you today. This isn't our day is it. We are on the same wavelength today. Lets stay away from alcohol though ok?
Yes, that was my situation too.
I had so much stuff to deal with from an abusive childhood, I didn't realize how hard I had worked to keep it repressed, including eventually drinking.
Try to remember that the emotions are just emotions. They don't control you. You can acknowledge them, feel them and let them go.
I had so much stuff to deal with from an abusive childhood, I didn't realize how hard I had worked to keep it repressed, including eventually drinking.
Try to remember that the emotions are just emotions. They don't control you. You can acknowledge them, feel them and let them go.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 462
Thank you. I feel better just knowing it's not only me.
It hit me yesterday really badly and then again today. Two totally separate items and two totally separate memories/triggers - powerful stuff but I have no intention to drink on them soberred
It hit me yesterday really badly and then again today. Two totally separate items and two totally separate memories/triggers - powerful stuff but I have no intention to drink on them soberred
Childhood memories always seem to surface
whether good ones or bad and dont expect they
will ever disappear. They are part of my makeup,
my life.
However, having a program of recovery I have
learned how replace them with healthier happier
ones.
I learned that it's okay to revisit the past but
not live in it. We can learn from it and change
those negative hurtful things sustained as a
child so we dont inflict it on our own children.
My mom physically, verbally abused me at an
early age till the day I left home and swore
she would never hurt me again. I drank over
the years to numb those hurtful feelings and
resentments i held towards her.
Drinking over those feeling eventually took
its toll on me and almost killed me. My loving
little family sought help for me with an intervention
where for 28 days i learned about my own
addiction to alcohol and its affects on me and
those around me.
I took those teachings with steps and incorperated
them in my everyday life for the past 21 yrs and
dont wish to numb past memories or hold resentments
towards the hand that hurt me.
I realized my mom was/is sick and I cant change
her. However for me to remain healthy in recovery
and for the rest of my life, i cant subject myself
to her illness any longer.
My life doesnt include her, yet i placed her in my
Higher Powers Hands for Him to take care of her.
Today I am making wonderful healthier memories
to enjoy in recovery.
Thanks to my HP for allowing me to do so.
whether good ones or bad and dont expect they
will ever disappear. They are part of my makeup,
my life.
However, having a program of recovery I have
learned how replace them with healthier happier
ones.
I learned that it's okay to revisit the past but
not live in it. We can learn from it and change
those negative hurtful things sustained as a
child so we dont inflict it on our own children.
My mom physically, verbally abused me at an
early age till the day I left home and swore
she would never hurt me again. I drank over
the years to numb those hurtful feelings and
resentments i held towards her.
Drinking over those feeling eventually took
its toll on me and almost killed me. My loving
little family sought help for me with an intervention
where for 28 days i learned about my own
addiction to alcohol and its affects on me and
those around me.
I took those teachings with steps and incorperated
them in my everyday life for the past 21 yrs and
dont wish to numb past memories or hold resentments
towards the hand that hurt me.
I realized my mom was/is sick and I cant change
her. However for me to remain healthy in recovery
and for the rest of my life, i cant subject myself
to her illness any longer.
My life doesnt include her, yet i placed her in my
Higher Powers Hands for Him to take care of her.
Today I am making wonderful healthier memories
to enjoy in recovery.
Thanks to my HP for allowing me to do so.
There is much much wisdom here, stemming from a 2500 year old tradition. I look at what Anna said as leaving a moment of space between noticing a feeling or memory, and reacting to it. In this moment lies your choice and your self acceptance.
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