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bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Originally Posted by Aysha 
I am goign home next Tues. I have made my reservation. Now hopefully I can get on that plane.
When I get home I am probably going to look into some kind if treatment. Inpatient is so hard to get in to up there. But IOP is the easiest.
I had another incident that I wont go into. I will die if I dont leave. This one didnt land me in the hospital but my face is messed up pretty bad. Sick part is, I still dont see the real danger in it all.
After awhile and after so long all of this becomes normal.
I always said it will be the life style that kills em not the drug.
I am going back to the house and go back to sleep./
When I get home I am probably going to look into some kind if treatment. Inpatient is so hard to get in to up there. But IOP is the easiest.
I had another incident that I wont go into. I will die if I dont leave. This one didnt land me in the hospital but my face is messed up pretty bad. Sick part is, I still dont see the real danger in it all.
After awhile and after so long all of this becomes normal.
I always said it will be the life style that kills em not the drug.
I am going back to the house and go back to sleep./
Why don't you make that 'probably' a 'definately'.
not little, a stranger no more
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: in the crowd
Posts: 410
I'm so sorry that you are struggling Trish. I was wondering if you were ok.
I hope you get someplace safe and get the help you need. You sound like you have been traumatized and please do also try get help to come to trems with that awful experience. Please believe me when I say you from my own experineces that if you leave that kind of stuff unadressed, it will keep you close to drugs/alcohol.
I hope you get someplace safe and get the help you need. You sound like you have been traumatized and please do also try get help to come to trems with that awful experience. Please believe me when I say you from my own experineces that if you leave that kind of stuff unadressed, it will keep you close to drugs/alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
Originally Posted by Aysha
I am goign home next Tues. I have made my reservation. Now hopefully I can get on that plane.
When I get home I am probably going to look into some kind if treatment. Inpatient is so hard to get in to up there. But IOP is the easiest.
I had another incident that I wont go into. I will die if I dont leave. This one didnt land me in the hospital but my face is messed up pretty bad. Sick part is, I still dont see the real danger in it all.
After awhile and after so long all of this becomes normal.
I always said it will be the life style that kills em not the drug.
I am going back to the house and go back to sleep./
When I get home I am probably going to look into some kind if treatment. Inpatient is so hard to get in to up there. But IOP is the easiest.
I had another incident that I wont go into. I will die if I dont leave. This one didnt land me in the hospital but my face is messed up pretty bad. Sick part is, I still dont see the real danger in it all.
After awhile and after so long all of this becomes normal.
I always said it will be the life style that kills em not the drug.
I am going back to the house and go back to sleep./
Get out and smell some fresh air, in way of looking at new perspective of life.
Leave the old behind, dump it, and never look back.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Trish))) - I'm glad you checked in, and I continue to pray that you finally realize this is not the life you were meant to have, that it can be better. It just takes work, but I hope you get it before you run out of chances.
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Getting into recovery should be your first plan, or else I'm afraid I see only one possible outcome from this. And no other real progress. I hope if you listen to anything that people are telling you, it will be that.
I am not trying to rub it in your face or rehash, but not so long ago it seemed you had very different plans for the future. It can still happen, but only with solid recovery, letting go of attachments to the scene. We can't plan life like a script, things rarely go that way. I hope and pray for your safety over the coming week... You can do it, other people once in similar situations to you with long backgrounds have done it but you need help and to give this over. Some people 'hit bottom' and just keep digging deeper... that seems what you are doing at the moment, as far as I can see it is serving you no purpose at all.
I know this is the life you have become accustomed to, it may seem sometimes thrilling and exciting, living on the edge, but too often we see where it leads, and there is nothing separating you from anybody else taking the risks, no seal of protection or being more above it than the next addict. We all think at one point such and such won't happen to us and tempt our own fate... all part of being in denial about things, until we learn to accept recovery on the same terms as everyone else.
I no longer need to live life on the edge all the time to feel that I am 'alive' or someone of significance. The sad thing is that lately, you seem to have lost yourself along the way.
I am not trying to rub it in your face or rehash, but not so long ago it seemed you had very different plans for the future. It can still happen, but only with solid recovery, letting go of attachments to the scene. We can't plan life like a script, things rarely go that way. I hope and pray for your safety over the coming week... You can do it, other people once in similar situations to you with long backgrounds have done it but you need help and to give this over. Some people 'hit bottom' and just keep digging deeper... that seems what you are doing at the moment, as far as I can see it is serving you no purpose at all.
I know this is the life you have become accustomed to, it may seem sometimes thrilling and exciting, living on the edge, but too often we see where it leads, and there is nothing separating you from anybody else taking the risks, no seal of protection or being more above it than the next addict. We all think at one point such and such won't happen to us and tempt our own fate... all part of being in denial about things, until we learn to accept recovery on the same terms as everyone else.
I no longer need to live life on the edge all the time to feel that I am 'alive' or someone of significance. The sad thing is that lately, you seem to have lost yourself along the way.
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