This is harder than I thought it would be...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Vancouver BC Canada
Posts: 384
Welcome Carly and when you say alcohol becomes a friend that sure hits home from my own experience and shredding my denial of the problem. Heck the way it can take over my life at times its the only friend or thing that counts....complete obsession and addiction
I believe alcohol damaged and distorted me physically first and then my mental/emotional health. I had problems like any 17 year old but when I started drinking , I did not see the trouble ahead, it just got blurred and numbed out. 31 years later and the quitting is very difficult as I have yet to make a year which I would used to think would be a challenge but not that tough...but then I never tried ...
And wow , did my behaviour change about 2 years into things when I became actually legal where I live, my abilities climbed then plummeted ...very weird stuff for a long time. Depression , anxiety the whole bit started to become the normal....and I simply denied the drinking was the issue...
It crept along and I kept ignoring or denying all the problems , scrapes and close calls along the way.....all the while making me sicker ....
Well now I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and its sure is a tough thing. SR is a great place for support and lots of people who have walked before us can lend a hand.
Lonely , unahppy , tired , confused , baffled ....seems like for some folks we need a certain point of seeing how our lives are not manageable with alcohol in it.
Hang around SR and use all the supports you can as it seems very people can head toward sobriety and a life filled with happiness all alone.
I believe alcohol damaged and distorted me physically first and then my mental/emotional health. I had problems like any 17 year old but when I started drinking , I did not see the trouble ahead, it just got blurred and numbed out. 31 years later and the quitting is very difficult as I have yet to make a year which I would used to think would be a challenge but not that tough...but then I never tried ...
And wow , did my behaviour change about 2 years into things when I became actually legal where I live, my abilities climbed then plummeted ...very weird stuff for a long time. Depression , anxiety the whole bit started to become the normal....and I simply denied the drinking was the issue...
It crept along and I kept ignoring or denying all the problems , scrapes and close calls along the way.....all the while making me sicker ....
Well now I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and its sure is a tough thing. SR is a great place for support and lots of people who have walked before us can lend a hand.
Lonely , unahppy , tired , confused , baffled ....seems like for some folks we need a certain point of seeing how our lives are not manageable with alcohol in it.
Hang around SR and use all the supports you can as it seems very people can head toward sobriety and a life filled with happiness all alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 129
Thank you YVRguy...I'm depending on the "kindness of strangers" at this point lol. I don't know anybody else, personally, who has a drinking problem. Sooo, I'm talking to strangers who share something in common with me.....and it feels good. Like, AA, it doesn't really matter that I don't believe in everything that they tell me, what matters is being able to conect with others who understand and encourage me to get better.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Carly!
The first time I realized I had a problem with drinking was when I tried to stop. It's easy to think about quitting "someday" or "next week" to justify a few more beers..... and never get around to the quitting part.
The mental part takes the longest to get over, but it does get easier. Keep all those negative consequences of drinking fresh in your mind and keep reminding yourself that you're making a decision to be proud of and one that will improve your life in every way.......:ghug3
The first time I realized I had a problem with drinking was when I tried to stop. It's easy to think about quitting "someday" or "next week" to justify a few more beers..... and never get around to the quitting part.
The mental part takes the longest to get over, but it does get easier. Keep all those negative consequences of drinking fresh in your mind and keep reminding yourself that you're making a decision to be proud of and one that will improve your life in every way.......:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 129
Artsoul, you are so right. The mental addiction is bad. I've not progressed to the point that stopping alcohol could kill me, but mentally, it's so hard to give up. Sure, I've had the shakes sometimes but nothing major. All I know is that I've got to change. I've chosen drinking over important things that I should be doing. I have MS and the medicine I'm supposed to take can mess up my liver. It's a "double whammy", so what do I do? Take the medicine or drink??? My choice: Drink. That's not cool...
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