Fletch2468

well i finially reached the 3 months sober mark, got my 3 month chip and just before day 100 i through it all away. i think i had convinced myself that i was fixed and could have just one drink.... how wrong could i be, ive been here and relapsed so many times now i should know better, once that first drink has been drunk i cant stop, luckily it only lasted 4 days this time, my girlfriend helped me through it and made me see sense before i hit rock bottom and lost everything.
so here i am on day 2 once again, very annoyed and ashamed of myself.... but hey at least im sober again and thinking and feeling positive, take a day at a time and dont pick up that first drink!

eJoshua

Glad that you made it back!

Maple

You should feel proud that you are trying to recover again.

keithj

Just a consideration, Fletch, but has that ever worked for you for lasting, permanent sobriety?

Your reaction to alcohol is just like mine. Once I start, I can't stop. And when I'm stopped, I can't help but start again.

I played that game for years, Fletch, just like you are doing, of a few months sober, then drink again, then sober for a year, then drunk for a year, blah blah blah. Both the drinking and the consequences only got worse.

I always had this delusion that thistime would be different. This time I'd control myself better, this time I wouldn't cave in, this time I wouldn't pick that drink back up.

One day I got a gift of the truth, being turned loose from a jail cell. When I got convinced that this time probably wasn't going to be different, that this time was probably going to end up the same as all the other times, and this was my wasted life and it sucked and would never get any better, that's when I became willing to put aside my ideas about how to stay sober (they obviously didn't work), and asked for help from someone who had a way out. I called a book-thumping guy in AA who took me through the Steps and everything changed. I've been sober since with almost zero effort.

sugarbear1

Welcome back!

Opivotal

I'm happy to hear your starting again. Learn from your "stinkin thinkin". I know I was very tempted around the 3 month mark. Don't waste much time on the past..its over and done with. Today is a new day and a fresh start. You can do this!!



Best Wishes To You!

least

Your post has strengthened my desire to stay sober. Thank you for that.

Anna

Fletch,

I'm glad that you're back and working on your recovery.

copperfield

Fletch, glad to know you are back and so soon!!!! Yeah for day 2!

MarylandRick

Thanks for your post fletch, I needed to hear at 88 days as confidence is running high. Thank you for sharing and so glad you are back at the program.

It sounds as if you are in AA. If you don't have a sponsor I suggest you get one and begin wokring the steps.

Glad you are back on track.

Zebra1275

I glad you are back, so what did you learn from this experience that can help you stay sober in the future?

It sounds like 1 drink leads to 4 days, yikes!

peaceful1

I am so saddened when I hear people say that they are ashamed of themselves or that they hate themselves.....that is so self destructive and will not help you in any way toward living a peaceful, joyful life much less stay sober. Your not perfect...that's about it. Welcome to the club! Good job on 99 days tho!!

Fletch2468

thanks for all your kind words guys, it makes the day just that little bit easier. i have been going to two AA meetings a week for the past 3 months now, im trying to work the steps but im finding it quite hard.... i really should find a sponsor to help me through them and understand them more, im just not sure how to approch it, do i just go ahead and ask someone??

Cardio

Good luck to you Fletch. As hard as it is to be back at day 2, it's better than being at day 1 of your 4 day binge. Keep your chin up.

wow04

I spent almost 3 yrs drinking and stopping. Never getting over 120 days in at a time. When I got it, was when I got a sponser and worked the steps. I also went to a meeting every day and called my sponser every day.
I know you can't get discouraged, but remember you are always welcomed in AA. Good Luck and welcome back!!

alaskasunshine

Yes! Just ask. It was so hard for me, but I went through a lot of sponsers over the years and the asking part got easier.

MarylandRick

If you are nervous about asking an individual, share at a meeting that you are having a difficult time working the steps without guidance and you would be interested in speaking with someone. Most likely several will approach you after the meeting and then you can pick.

I think fresh off a relapse is a perfect time to bring it up at a meeting.

NewBeginning010

Hi Fletch, sorry to hear of your slip but hopefully it can help you in your future with the concept of "I can never have a drink" ever! Its tough for us to admit but we must to beat this thing.

In my meetings they ask for people that are looking for sponsors to please stand & then also ask for available sponsors to please stand (then ask them to connect at the end of the meeting).

If your meetings are smaller then I would try to get to a meeting early & ask the chair person for the evening how they usually connect sponsors. Chances are they will ask if there are any available sponsors at the end of the evening.

Approach #2 (my preferred approach) is to get to know who the successful people are in the program & find a couple of people that you respect for the way that they are working their program (not buddy material) and ask them how they got their sponsor or to help you (letting them know that you have appreciated their experience & sharing). Chances are they will talk with you further & help you to find a good match or become your sponsor themselves.

Don't be afraid to talk with a few people to see if there is a connection, I found a really nice guy as my first sponsor when I was a little desperate coming into an AA room but later found out he was more of an addict & we couldn't really connect on alcoholism a lot of ways (my esh). This made it challenging when I was trying to relate my experience, struggles & challenges.

All of the best in your recovery & stay a little more connected here if you can, it does help. Cheers ~ NB

NewBeginning010

{presses like button}

The room would very much value your share as to why/how you slipped & as mentioned above my MR a great time to ask for help working the steps ;-)

Option 3

Dee74

Sorry you faltered Fletch but I'm glad to see you back

D