Day 9: I need some advice
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 67
Day 9: I need some advice
So every Tuesday a couple of my girl friends and I meet up for ladies night. Ladies night used to consist of us sitting on a patio drinking, cooking, and talking trash about our boyfriends 
. However in the past few weeks I have been on this workout kick and suggested that we start walking for ladies night and then reward our selves with a drink. And that is exactly what we have been doing for the past 3 weeks. Now this was before I decided to slow down my drinking. Today is Tuesday and we are meeting up for our usual walk. The thing is after I know the girls are going to want to go have a drink and I want to go hang out with them and talk, but I dont want to drink. I have told both of them that I havent been drinking and they both say they are proud of me and wish they could do the same, but I know once we finish our walk they are going to want to drink. I love ladies nights they are total therapy for me and I know I can enjoy them not drinking because I have done it before but I dont think they can. What are some ways I can slowly influence or convince them to make ladies night an alcohol free night? (Side note: these are my friends that I get wasted with. They are not people who can have just a few drinks and be done) I dont want to stop hanging out with my friends because of an issue I am dealing with but I also dont want to constantly be faced with temptation either. I dont know what to do!
. However in the past few weeks I have been on this workout kick and suggested that we start walking for ladies night and then reward our selves with a drink. And that is exactly what we have been doing for the past 3 weeks. Now this was before I decided to slow down my drinking. Today is Tuesday and we are meeting up for our usual walk. The thing is after I know the girls are going to want to go have a drink and I want to go hang out with them and talk, but I dont want to drink. I have told both of them that I havent been drinking and they both say they are proud of me and wish they could do the same, but I know once we finish our walk they are going to want to drink. I love ladies nights they are total therapy for me and I know I can enjoy them not drinking because I have done it before but I dont think they can. What are some ways I can slowly influence or convince them to make ladies night an alcohol free night? (Side note: these are my friends that I get wasted with. They are not people who can have just a few drinks and be done) I dont want to stop hanging out with my friends because of an issue I am dealing with but I also dont want to constantly be faced with temptation either. I dont know what to do!
Sober...Finally.
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Galveston TX
Posts: 574
For a while, I have noticed, it is imperative to change the usual people, places and things. I had to stop going out with my friends, because thats all they want to do and the only way they know how to socialize. I know that if I really want to quit, I cant be around them because I bring enough temptation on myself. Its very hard, but if they dont want to quit, you cant help it. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 59
Hey there Sara. Here's my advice and you can take it for a grain of salt.. You shouldn't impose sobriety on your friends if they don't -truly- want it. That's a decision they have to make for themselves. I've known tons of people (myself included) who claimed they want to quit but never actually do, because in reality, they say it to feel better about themselves and about their habits, not because they really mean to be rid of alcohol forever.
About the only thing you can do is keep them updated on your progress and maybe they'll see the benefits you're experiencing as a result of your recovery. That could possibly sway them to want the same thing. And like you said, you can still have a great time without drinking, so let them see you do that. =)
About the only thing you can do is keep them updated on your progress and maybe they'll see the benefits you're experiencing as a result of your recovery. That could possibly sway them to want the same thing. And like you said, you can still have a great time without drinking, so let them see you do that. =)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Vancouver BC Canada
Posts: 384
Err well tough one Sara , but trust your feelings and heart.
For myself I have to make staying sober job 1 and anything risking job 1 has to go away for now. I know I have simply dropped/stopped being near a bar , drinking people,etc and the like to let myself have no stress or temptation about drinking. I have no cravings right now on day 11 and I'd like to keep away from anything that will start that craving again. Luckily they do not sell alcohol in grocery stores or gas stations etc here , only in licensed shops and bars/restaurants.
Relapse is just way to easy once the stinking thinking gets going for me. I'd prefer to miss something and wake up the next day feeling well , having slept and liking the person in that mirror just a little more.
I lost a lot of pals drinking and I may just lose some friends becoming sober but its a price I am willing to pay.
Best wishes
For myself I have to make staying sober job 1 and anything risking job 1 has to go away for now. I know I have simply dropped/stopped being near a bar , drinking people,etc and the like to let myself have no stress or temptation about drinking. I have no cravings right now on day 11 and I'd like to keep away from anything that will start that craving again. Luckily they do not sell alcohol in grocery stores or gas stations etc here , only in licensed shops and bars/restaurants.
Relapse is just way to easy once the stinking thinking gets going for me. I'd prefer to miss something and wake up the next day feeling well , having slept and liking the person in that mirror just a little more.
I lost a lot of pals drinking and I may just lose some friends becoming sober but its a price I am willing to pay.
Best wishes
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by MrAverage 
Hey there Sara. Here's my advice and you can take it for a grain of salt.. You shouldn't impose sobriety on your friends if they don't -truly- want it. That's a decision they have to make for themselves. I've known tons of people (myself included) who claimed they want to quit but never actually do, because in reality, they say it to feel better about themselves and about their habits, not because they really mean to be rid of alcohol forever.
About the only thing you can do is keep them updated on your progress and maybe they'll see the benefits you're experiencing as a result of your recovery. That could possibly sway them to want the same thing. And like you said, you can still have a great time without drinking, so let them see you do that. =)
About the only thing you can do is keep them updated on your progress and maybe they'll see the benefits you're experiencing as a result of your recovery. That could possibly sway them to want the same thing. And like you said, you can still have a great time without drinking, so let them see you do that. =)
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