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Old 11-08-2011, 02:01 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Violet-there are so many of us like you, you are not alone. If you haven't already, please consider posting in the "Class of November" Thread where there are others starting out on this same journey. There is strength in numbers.
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Old 11-08-2011, 02:51 PM
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If AA is not for you then perhaps, maybe with the help of a counselor, you might find some other type of group support. My instinct is that a group of some kind would help and also that you might do better with a friend who has some recovery time to her credit. I hope you stay on this forum since all these SR folks have lots of experience and what they say is often very helpful.
We aren't allowed to give out medical advice on this forum but everyone knows that alcohol is a depressant and I gather that antidepressants do not work well when combined with alcohol. If you quit drinking you will no doubt have some medical issues which need the advice of a doctor (detoxing alone may be risky) but if you persist you will probably find that you are better able to deal with depression.

W.
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Old 11-08-2011, 07:46 PM
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The drinking is poisoning your body and will kill you one day if you don't stop. You're the only mother your daughter will ever have. Come on SR every night, you can do it.
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Old 11-08-2011, 08:33 PM
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Hi Flame,

Reading your post made me think how amazingly alike we all are. I completely relate to your story. It's much like mine.

We get to a point where we don't know how to live without alcohol but we also don't know how we can continue drinking. I remember waking up at 7am to that alarm clock and thinking "How the hell am I going to make it through another day"... I'd be hungover, tired, always running late, house a mess, never made food at home - always at a drive thru, upset because I was gaining weight, but needing to eat crappy food to "fix my hangover", and on and on and on... It felt as if I was just chasing my tail around.

I'd swear every hungover morning that I was never going to do that again. I'd get a few days under my belt, start feeling better, and then I'd reward myself with getting effed up... Cycle repeat....

It's just a really crappy way to live. This time around exercise and eating right are a big part of my recovery. I don't go overboard on it, but I can't just remove the booze and keep feeding my body all the other crap (or even more of it to fight off cravings).

What I find helps is taking care of myself. Going to AA, coming here, making meals at home, bringing my (healthy) lunch to work, eating healthy snacks, drinking a lot of water, getting a good nights sleep, etc...

Since taking better care of myself it's made my recovery better. I made it 6 months on just going to AA and not changing anything else. This time I am changing how I take care of myself and so far so good.

If we don't take care of ourselves, who's going to?

You can do this. Hang in there!!!
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Old 11-21-2011, 06:17 AM
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I just wated to thank each and every one of you who have taken the time to read and reply to my posts. I have realized something in the last couple of days. And that is that when we are drinking , (even if we are not drinking at that particular moment) Our decsions are still impaired. Maybe this is silly to have just realized not after over 5 - 6 years of being an active almost daily drinker. But I guess I can call this my moment of clarity. I have been journaling a lot and I realize just how much AL affected my relationship with my daughter. How much I fought with her on mornings when I would wake up hungover nad in withdrawal. I also beleive my feelings about AA may have come from a place where that someone who still thinks she can drink normally lives. I have decided to come on here but also to try again to use AA. Last night I had an episode in which I experienced what Is called a Dry Drunk. I started crying uncontrollable bc my daughter and her bf wanted to watch a movie by themselves. I felt rejected and angry because I felt like drinking and was using the activity as a distraction. But today I realize that I definately need to get myself a sponsor and a support system so I do not go back to drinking. it is so easy. just to get in my car and go buy the wine and again I will start the cycle. Except this time I REALLY don't want to. I am an emotional wreck. Crying for everything. Feelings things way to intensely. I have always been this way but even more so now that I do not have the wine as a buffer. I have been trying to eat healthier. Even though I find myself craving sweets a lot more. And also exercising. I wenrt to see a Dr who prescribed me Naltrexone. I am taking it daily so in case I do decide to slip, there will be no point because I will not get the high. So yes, I am taking drastic measures because this has become a drastic situation. I am going to repost this in the November Class and hope to be posting a LOT more now that I am commited to my sobriety.
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Old 11-21-2011, 06:29 AM
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Can't find thread

Originally Posted by samwitch View Post
Violet-there are so many of us like you, you are not alone. If you haven't already, please consider posting in the "Class of November" Thread where there are others starting out on this same journey. There is strength in numbers.
I am having trouble finding this thread.
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Old 11-21-2011, 06:54 AM
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Originally Posted by violetflame View Post
I am having trouble finding this thread.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...11-pt-2-a.html
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Old 11-21-2011, 06:55 AM
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Congratulations on being sober! I know what you mean about not really feeling emotionally better at the beginning. Even though I quit drinking at the beginning I was still an emotional wreck. I am getting my confidence back now though after like 45 days. It took longer this time. I think my allergies had something to do with it too, though because I wasn't sleeping very well either.
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Old 11-21-2011, 07:26 AM
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Welcome to the November class. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I won't get into details but I've also just noticed how much drinking was impacting my relationships. Especially with my children. I'm glad you're taking steps to have a happier life. Just think in a bit when you're not thinking about drinking how much LESS stressful it will be not having to figure out which gas station to go to and if they are going to have what you want and finding the time to get your stash for the night.

Take care.
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