Saying hello.. 1 month down
 

So Hello,

I'm feeling pretty lonely right now. I'm married, but he's not the talking it out type. And I've been such a hermit in the past few years I really don't have any friends I can just call. Just lost my grandmother (Mammaw) in August.. she was like a second Mom to me after losing my Mom at 17. My Dad who I've not seen in years is on kidney dialysis.... I did talk to him over the phone a couple of weeks ago. My sister-in-law is a Sociopath and my mother-in-law is a Narcissist. So my life's been fun. I guess you can see what's motivated my drinking..

So I'm putting it all out there in hopes that I can sleep tonight. I'm an insomniac. I know that there are people who have it worse than me, but I guess I do indulge too much in feeling sorry for myself. I am happy about one thing though.. I quit drinking almost 5 weeks ago.

Thanks for listening. Writing all this down is therapeutic.

Writing sure is good therapy. :)
I'm an insomniac as well and after 3 weeks of sobriety it amazes me just how much I relied on my nightly binges for getting to sleep. Sorry to hear you don't have many people to talk with, seems like many of us here are that way. I sure am and this forum has really helped.

Welcome to SR, risydawn!

Congrats on your almost 5 weeks of sobriety! Sorry that your family is so difficult to deal with. Have you found any face to face support, as in AA or the like? If family isn't all the supportive maybe you need to look outside the house for support.

Best wishes to you in your sober journey!

Welcome to SR risydawn
Congratualtions on 5 weeks :)

It's not exactly our peak time right now- but I know you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here - stick with us :)

D

Welcome! Being sober for 5 weeks is really, really great! You should be very proud of yourself. Had you been drinking a long time? What types of things have you been doing to make it 5 weeks? Please share :)

You will find so much support here. Keep posting - I agree with Scolova - writing is good therapy. This time around I've been posting (for the first time ever on a forum) and it is making all the difference in the world.

I also do not have anyone IRL to talk to. My husband doesn't enjoy *at all* talking it out and my family and friends don't have any idea how I've been drinking like I have. It is comforting to know that you can come here and lay it all on the table and get support not harsh judgement. You won't feel alone. There are some very wise people here! I'm not one of them (yet :) ) I'm pretty new to sobriety - Day 5. But I'm sure lots will be by to say hello a little later today :)

Have a wonderful, sober Friday!

Well done on your five weeks! :You_Rock_

Thanks everyone, you've all made me feel better already!

Funny thing, I've attempted to write this 2 times before.. and each time my laptop keeps clicking it off. I don't know if it's a button I'm accidentally pushing or what.. At one point I was almost done! Frustrating but still kinda funny.

Scolova, sounds like we're in the same boat. I definitely used alcohol to help me sleep. So, it makes me feel better that I'm not the only one.

eJoshua, thanks. I have thought about going to AA. I've looked up some meetings online and I just may go sometime soon. It will be a new experience for sure.. I've kept my problem well hidden for a while and very few people even know I drink. Or used to.

Dee, thanks. I'm happy I found this message board. You all seem really great.

Sadsoul.. thank you. And congrats on your 5 days.. or going on 6 now. That's awesome. And sorry, you're not getting much support either. I don't think it's unusual for husbands to be that way. My hubby is really sweet and he's a good guy. But he just doesn't have a clue what I need right now.

I had to do a little figuring ..but I think it's been 6 or 7 years that I've been binge drinking on a regular basis. Usually on the weekends.. Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Most weeks I'd drink 2 or 3 days but it really ranged from weeks with no alcohol to weeks where I'd drink every single night. Usually it was vodka mixed with whatever was in the fridge. Sometimes I'd drink with my husband. But mostly by myself, and mostly into the wee hours of the morning. That's how it's been so easy to keep it secret. Only 3 people in my life even know about my problem. I think most people would be shocked.

To cope with not drinking.. I've been going to the gym and taking all my frustrations out on the elliptical machine. Drinking lots of water and sweating it out. I've been meditating a little bit. And I'm taking Omega 3's. I consider this as my healing time. Since I'm dealing with grief and recovery at the same time.. my emotions are a mess. So taking it one day at a time.. trying to heal. I won't get into it right now but I've had some health problems from the drinking.. seems to be harder on women. And I know I have no choice but to stop now or I just won't make it too much longer.

ttbp, Thank you! And I'm lovin' the guy with the sign. lol.

Congrats on a month! You can stay stopped!