blondiexo

Hey everyone! I am an 18 year old college student and I think I've finally come to terms that I can't drink anymore.
I got sober for 2 months last year and went to AA meetings regularly but somehow slipped back into my drinking phase again. :/

I've been to the hospital numerous times, hurt my loved ones, damaged relationships, engaged in extremely risky behavior during blackouts, and the guilt and embarrassment is becoming unbearable..

I'm tired of hurting the people I love and I'm terrified I may hurt someone else or myself one of these nights during a blackout. I always tell myself I'll have one drink and the next thing I know It's 9am, and I have no idea what happened the night before, and I'm still drinking. I'm so young but I know this has gone far enough! I'm sick and tired of acting in ways I would never act sober.

I want to be able to enjoy the little things in life again and have a life not consumed by regret..

So here it goes, Day 1! and thank you so much for spending the time to read this!

eJoshua

Hi Blondie!

Welcome to SR! It will be really tough to stay sober in college, but there are sober student groups around on many of college campuses. It might be worth looking into getting involved in something like that so you have people you can socialize with and relate to.

Best wishes in your efforts to stay clean!

Dee74

Welcome blondiexo

ejosh's advice is good - most campuses have something. If you'd rather something away from campus there's a lot of choices for support too

Are you thinking of AA again?

D

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR (((Blondie)))! There was a guy in my old home group who was 19 with 4 years of sobriety, he and his dad were both in AA, just rarely at the same meetings out of respect for each other's ability to share. He'd been drinking since 11 I think?

I'm really glad you're here. I wish I had done something at your age, rather than wait a few decades, but recovery is well worth it.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

blondiexo

thanks everyone for the support!!

I think I am going to try AA again! I found a few young people meetings not too far away so I think I will end up checking those out this weekend once I muster up the courage to get out of this room and do something productive instead of sitting around feeling bad for myself haha

Definitely need to get myself to a meeting though..I really do miss them to be honest haha

sadsoul2011

Welcome to SR! I'm impressed that you are trying to change your life at such a young age - it can be difficult to quit drinking in a college setting, but there are resources (sounds like you're already finding them ). You'll also find other students that don't drink - there are more around than you think. Best of luck! Stay strong this weekend - AA meetings sound like a good idea.

Also, check out the October Class thread - there are some great people over there and everyone is very supportive!

ForeverDecember

My dad had a saying that rings true for me: A pint is too many, and a keg is not enough. Meaning, basically that after the first drop touches my tongue I end up drinking until black out.

Hang in there, see your GP if you need help too.

sugarbear1

Welcome! Get back to aa and work the steps with a sponsor. This disease doesn't discriminate-age or anything else!

Charon

You are so very lucky to come to this conclusion at such a young age. Most of us hold out way too long and waste so much of our lives. Fight this demon with everything you have. You won't regret it.

CarolD

When I began working the AA Steps I shifted into solid recovery..
I too had been a blackout drinker...as soon as I stopped...so did the risky behaviors.

WElcome ..

Anna

Welcome,

I'm glad you found us.

Fenris

Welcome Blondie. I envy you for coming to this conclusion at your age -- I could have saved myself a lot of misery if I had the capacity to be that honest with myself. You've been to AA, so you know what you need to do. You know that you don't have to live the way you've been living -- that it only takes a little action and willingness on your part. Please keep posting here and get to a meeting.

--Fenris.

Mersault

Well props kiddo it's awesome to see kids so young taking such responsibility. I can't tell you how unusual that is for such a young age, give yourself serious ups. If you'd like a read as to where this road heads you can read my first post in this forum, and lots of other folks. God I love to see people figure this out before 20yrs old! Just awesome! Please stick it out and if AA works for you DO IT!

YVRguy

Good on you Blondie and I will join the chorus of support and dealing with this earlier in life.

I am a coulda/woulda.shoulda who at 18 should have been pointed to support with problems. I hope you find a path to sobriety and spare yourself an extra decade or two !

PaperDolls

Welcome back Blondie! Glad you made it.

Good luck to you on your new journey!

Animal454

Glad to see that you are planning to get a handle on this at a young age.

blondiexo

Thanks for all the advice!! Yeah college is definitely a hard place to get sober. I think I'm just going to try to put all my energy into school, the gym, my friends, meetings, etc.. I'm definitely going to start working on some steps again and see where that takes me as well! Have a great day everyone!

ProfessorFudger

you dont have to be big to be a big man, and takin these small steps shows you have what it takes to move forward. welcome to SR.

Hevyn

blondie - welcome! Be proud that you're taking charge of this now. I would never have had the sense to do that at 18. You'll never put yourself through hell like many of us have. Congratulations on your decision!

Charon

blondiexo,

Another thing you might want to check into. When my Daughter was in college she joined a group called "Choices". The group is all about making good choices in life - not just alcohol and drugs but all aspects of life - bigotry, sex, etc. The main focus is usually on drinking and drugs. Many if not most campuses have a Choices chapter.