ryanriley

I have been thinking about having a couple drinks at dinner with friends. I want some normalcy back in my life. I dont think if i do that im going to go on some wild bender. I really just dont see that. If I go and have 2-3 glasses of wine I am not going to die.. This is said so often to me in meetings and in big book that if you drink you will die. I just dont believe that. Drinking has caused problems for sure. Do you think 2-3 drinks at home on a saturday is going to ruin everything??

ventura47

I was ten days sober and feeling really good about myself.. But the boredom and cravings drove me to a beer, that gave me a headache. then the next day I just had two little bottles of rum. Then the next day I had half a pint of rum, then the next day I was back to a pint a day, This is day one again for me. and remember there are only four glasses of wine in bottle. I dont know your history with alcohol. But I cant drink normal ,

suki44883

Stinkin' thinkin.' Once the alcoholic brain detects alcohol in the system, all bets are off. There are many, many stories here of how someone only intended to have 1 or 2 drinks with dinner, but it didn't end there.

No one here can tell you what to do, but what you are thinking right now is classic alcoholic brain rationalization. I like the quote from Robert Downey, Jr. that says...Sometimes I think about having a drink with dinner, then I remember I have plans for Christmas. Wise words there.

Fenris

Yes.

If you are an alcoholic, 2-3 drinks may or may not ruin Saturday, but it will certainly ruin some other day(s) down the line. If you do not think you are an alcoholic, the Big Book actually suggests that you try some controlled drinking to find out. It also says that it is the great obsession of every alcholic to be able to drink like a normal person.

If you're an alcoholic, drinking can no longer be a part of your normal life. That's just how it is. If you're not, give it a shot. (no pun intended).

--Fenris.

doggonecarl

Wow! From "Please help me/multiple DUI guy" to "I think I can drink normally" guy in one day. Alcohol is indeed cunning and baffling.

Good luck, Ryan, you'll need it.

PaperDolls

Ryan

What does your sponsor think?
What does your drinking history show on your success at controlling your drinking?

eJoshua

If drinking is normal then you need to change what normal is. You can try to moderate if you want to, but I haven't met anyone on here who was very successful at it.

Anna

Ryan, you posted yesterday that you had had two DUI's and that your photo was all over your local newspaper. You said you lost your job because of your alcoholism.

How can having a few drinks be okay?

VolcomStone51

Ryan,

The thing is, is that no, it probably won't "kill" you......but the way I see it is this. Although you may drink "sucessfully" one night , where is this going to take you. For myself, I would wake up the next day excited that I had "done it" and would wonder if/when I would be able to do it again. Now, depending on how scared or how bad of a bottom you hit prior to deciding to stop this will probably decide if you drink the next day or wait a day or two or what have you (this also depends on the how progressed you disease is). In this period of time I would be obsessing over when I will be able to drink next and how much I will drink.....should I have one...maybe two or just have a one good night. Either way, soon enough I know that I would be drinking more than my fair share and that my anxiety and isolation would kick into high gear, which is somewhere I never want to go back to. This is just my opinion and what I whink would happen to me.....I guess just mull this over in your head and decided what you wish to do. If it was me I would compare what your life was like before you quit and how it is now. If the now is better, then stick with that......if you believe now is pretty good and drinking will make it great, well then that is just stinkin thinking as stated before. Best of luck to you!!

eJoshua

Here is your post from yesterday:

It sounds to me like you are hoping to "move past" your drinking problems by drinking. I hear the desire to go to "normalcy" in this post, but I think that you have the solution wrong. Drinking seems like the obvious solution because as alcoholics the only solution we know to solving life's problems is to dirnk.

Have you been honest with your sponsor about how you are feeling? Have you tried meeting with a counselor/therapist to discuss your emotions?

ryanriley

your right dogegonecar,, my mind is all over the place bad ideas,,, i need to stay out of my head,, i swear i think about this all the time,,, it enough to drive me crazy

SSIL75

Then you definitely shouldn't drink!

Sober life IS normal life. I didn't get that for ages but now I do. My life is umpteen times more normal than it was as an active alcoholic.

The only reason you are obsessing that your life isn't 'normal' unless you can 'have a couple of drinks' is because you're an alcoholic. Normal people don't care about stuff like that. They just don't. They sit out drinks because they're tired or short on cash or have a headache or just don't feel like drinking at that time. Ever do that? Sit out a drink for no particular reason? Yea, me neither.

Terminally Unique

In light of your first post, you gotta be kidding me. Your entire post above is pure Addictive Voice, nothing more, nothing less. Don't listen to your AV, because it lies.

PaperDolls

Ryan, You're soooo not alone in this thinking. When my thinking starts getting wonky like that, I force myself to a meeting and/or call my sponsor or another sober friend. Also, I remind myself that that little voice in my head telling me I can drink just a few is my disease talking. It's not true that I can drink like a normal person. No matter what that damn voice says.

alaina02

I had 7 months of good sobriety. I thought ONE tasty mixed beverage from our old beverage barn.. thats all fun and looks cool would be just FINE for me! HAHAHAHAH!! I was successful that night..i just had one. I then told myself i will only drink on occasions. I drank a few nights later...only have 2 stiff drinks. Then a week later i was drinking like i stole the bottle. ARGGGGG!!!! what happened? oh yeah, thats right...im an alcoholic!!! i was in rehab last year...nobody wanted to be around me...OH YEAH!! duh!!

However, with this disease, no matter how much we know about ourselves that will never keep us away from the first drink. We have no mental defense. We must stay in action to get past those thoughts. Calling a sponsor, another alcoholic, goin to a meeting, etc. This too shall pass.

Dont drink man, its not worth it if your anything like me :/ ...i only have 2 months of sobriety now.

FHB1

Ryan, I would recommend going to an AA meeting ASAP. If you have a sponsor, call him/her right away and let them know how you are feeling. If you don't yet have a sponsor, get to an AA meeting and announce that you really need one. These are just my recommendations. Whenever I feel like taking a drink, I call my sponsor and go to a meeting. I always feel better after an AA meeting.

alaskasunshine

It is normal for an alcoholic to think like this. I have done it a million times. Just one, I think. Or maybe two drinks. And you know, usually the first day it is only one or two and no one ever knows. But its the second, or maybe the third day that I cant stop and I drink to the point that it's obvious that I am drinking and I once again, start waking up feeling the guilt, remorse, shame and sick hungover feeling and I usually drink a day or two more before quitting "for good."
Hang in there and KUDOS for your posting honestly here about this.

Fenris

That's it exactly. I've successfully limited myself to one or two drinks several nights only to wake up the next day with the switch thrown, the overwhelming desire to drown myself in a massive booze binge; my feet don't even hit the floor from the bed before my Addictive Voice is front and center and in charge, and I have no idea when it will stop or where I'll end up because of it. And the experience is a million times more miserable when I have a head full of recovery and AA, Big Book quotes running through my mind. I've never felt more hopeless and helpless in my life than at those moments. The "guilt, remorse, shame and sick hungover feeling" you described. Thank God I don't have to live like that today. Nobody has to live like that.

--Fenris.

LawMama

I agree with everything everyone else said. Also wanted to add, it is a really good thing that you came to this forum and told some other alcoholics that you are thinking about drinking. Now it shouldn't be so hard to call someone from AA and tell them the same.

Freedom1990

I had a bus in my head and everyone was fighting to drive the damned thing early in sobriety.

I hit lots of meetings, spent a lot of one-on-one time with my sponsors, called others in the program if I had to, read the Big Book, whatever I could do to get out of my head.

I also found that the more I thought of how I could give to other alcoholics as in helping the newcomer, sharing more at meetings, the less I thought of me.

I totally understand the mind all over the place. I swear when I woke up in the mornings, my head was already 10 miles down the road before my feet hit the floor!